Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:To the poster who is thinking about this "all day, every day." I think you need to try to get yourself to stop thinking about this. It doesn't help anyone and it won't make this go away. You may just make yourself ill. I'm not a doctor or psychologist, but I think that obsessing over something this upsetting and horrible could have long-term effects.
If you were close to the family, then ignore my comment. I have no business advising you.
I didn't know the family. I'm a new mother and all I can think about is that child, what he went through, and what his family went through. Am I the only one? I guess I need to stay off of this thread but I feel compelled to learn everything there is to know about what happened, and think about what I can do to protect myself and my family from monsters like this who exist in our world.
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Slightly off topic but perhaps it can help you a bit, pp -- I will never forget reading Kate Atkinson's Case Histories in the weeks following my daughter's birth. I was 40 at the time and had been a voracious reader all my and an English teacher/professor for nearly 18 years: I thought I knew everything about catharsis, unpacking texts to find meaning, etc.,. But in reading Case Histories (which concerns the death of a child) as a new mom, I suddenly understood, in a way I never had before, what it meant to be 'scared' of death -- not my own, not my husband's, not my parents', not my friends' (by that time, I'd lost my best friend to cancer and several close relatives as well). Rather, I suddenly became terrified of what it might mean to lose my baby girl. I thought about the book constantly and even today, reading it or any work about losing a child can bring me to my knees emotionally.
If fiction did that to me, I can only imagine what, as a new mom, you're reeling with in imagining the evil and sheer hell enveloping a family, a situation that unfolded 'in real life' less than a month ago. At least in my own case, as well, I suspect that being post partum and hormonally upside down also impacted my thinking about losing a child. If any new mom (or anyone, generally) finds themselves unable to 'let go' of thinking about this terrible tragedy, then perhaps some counseling would help. But I don't think you need to stay off the thread, especially if it's giving you some feeling of connection to sharing your emotions.
The other comment I will make on this is, again, slightly off topic but related. In December 2012, my daughter was the same age as the murdered children in Newtown. The afternoon of the murders, two colleagues reached out to me. They were both trained clinicians, and both said, in essence, "I know that [your DD] is in first grade and I know this tragedy hurts in an even more profound way for you." I don't measure or compare grief and sorrow, but I can tell you that I grieved and mourned for each of them and their teachers and principal as though I had known them, and in a way I had not during 9/11 or after the Oklahoma bombings or any other inexplicable horror/murder that impacted children. I will also never forget watching the memorial service on television the Sunday after the murders and hearing my husband sob in so much raw pain that it scared me: both of us could all too easily imagine ourselves in the Newtown parents' situation.
I hope, pp, that you are able to find some peace and that you are also able to live as much in the moment as possible in the days and weeks and years to come. If the horrors of the Washington murders compel you to think about how to protect your family, as you've said, I hope you can also turn some of the emotional energy towards cherishing every day you have with your new baby.
Take care.