Women that got cheated on.
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Anonymous
| How did you cope. Would you marry again? What would you differently? Inputs are appreciated. TIA. |
Anonymous
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Can you include men that got cheated on, too, or is that too threadjacky?
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Anonymous
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10 years later, I'm really not sure I would marry again. On the one hand, I would like to model for my kids that it is possible to have a healthy equal partnership. On the other hand, I really understand how risky it is to bring a male into my family unit (me and kids). I do not want to do anything that would introduce more instability into our lives.
I think I would probably date for at least 3 years before committing to marriage again and during that time have many , many explicit conversations about money, sex, fidelity, work outside the home and work inside the home. I consider infidelity to be a form of serious emotional abuse, and I have taken a long time understanding the family of origin abuse that normalized some of the behavior of my ex. So, I would also be very quick to kick anyone to the curb who engaged in these kinds of pre-abusive behaviors. |
Anonymous
| Yes I did marry again. Very happy now after lots of therapy- I would highly recommend that so you don't end up with the same kind of selfish person a second time. No kids from my first marriage thank goodness! |
Anonymous
| I would marry again if I met the right person. Now that I am older, I know exactly what I want in a partner. Looking back, i married the wrong person - he was emotionally immature and did not know how to be intimate. If I am honest with myself, I knew that about him at the time but settled anyway. I will only be with someone again if they are an old soul, someone with whom I can share my body, mind, and soul. I would rather be alone than settle again, and I am fine with that. I'll be one of those crazy cat ladies in my 80s. |
Anonymous
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I would get married again (after my alimony ends), but I could also be very happy just living with someone.
I questioned my own skills at judging people for a while after I found out about the cheating. It was almost as if I didn't trust myself to choose the right person (because clearly I had failed at that the last time). It took some time dating to be ready to allow myself to really jump into a relationship again. I find that I am definitely more skeptical about guy's honesty now. I'm pretty sure that some of the guys that my gut tells me are "sketchy" are probably nice guys, but I listen to my gut more now. I have discovered that there are really wonderful, honest men out there. I still enjoy seeing couples in love. Seeing happily married friends makes me happy. I was so terrified that I would become a bitter man-hater, but I am pleased to report that I am not. My problem in relationships is that I am scared to get hurt that badly again. I was devastated when I found out about the cheating. I don't regret my marriage because my kids are the best thing ever, but I regret the effect that the cheating had on my self-confidence and trust in men. I am definitely ready to love deeply and fully again! |
Anonymous
| I have been divorced five years and only now feel ready to be married again. I had to rebuild trust in myself and recognize that his poor judgment was not my fault. My marriage failing was not all my fault. I have had one relationship post-divorce that ended amicably because we had different futures in mind. |
Anonymous
| I had a horrible experience with my ex husband but I still believe in love. I refuse to be jaded - life is too short to be angry and hurt. I really believe there is someone out there who is perfect for me. And, if I ever meet this person, I could never imagine hurting him no matter the circumstances. I would only be hurting myself. |
Anonymous
| OP here..thanks for the responses so far.It seems it was only yesterday even though it has been a year since the split. |
Anonymous
As hard as it is at the time, look at it as a blessing in disguise. Life will get better and time really does heal. I did marry again four years later. Very happy now. If I ever ran into the AP, I'd thank her. Good luck to you OP. |
Anonymous
| We've been split for a year and half and divorced for a few months. I don't know that I am the marrying kind. I'm honestly very stubborn and have serious issues with emotional intimacy. I'm trying to deal with some of my issues, but also be more upfront about who I am. |
Anonymous
Yes it is, please do not intrude on women's voices. |
Anonymous
| I will NEVER get married again. FWBs only. |
Anonymous
13 years today since the day my world was shattered. Although it does not hurt like it use to, it's still affects me on this date every year. |
Anonymous
I am sorry for your horrible experience. People deserve to be with friends who want to help heal them. NL |