Women that got cheated on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here..thanks for the responses so far.It seems it was only yesterday even though it has been a year since the split.

13 years today since the day my world was shattered. Although it does not hurt like it use to, it's still affects me on this date every year.

10 years, and there are still times when it all comes flooding back like I am in that moment again. Infidelity is a form of serious emotional abuse. Psychologists are increasingly recognizing that this kind of repetitive emotional abuse can cause PTSD-like symptoms. Google "relational betrayal" or "intimate betrayal".

Feeling like the whole thing is occurring again (or still occurring) is a common symptom of PTSD. It's called a flashback or re-experiencing.

The difficulty with new relationships is that they often provide triggers which pull one back to the original betrayal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here..thanks for the responses so far.It seems it was only yesterday even though it has been a year since the split.

13 years today since the day my world was shattered. Although it does not hurt like it use to, it's still affects me on this date every year.

10 years, and there are still times when it all comes flooding back like I am in that moment again. Infidelity is a form of serious emotional abuse. Psychologists are increasingly recognizing that this kind of repetitive emotional abuse can cause PTSD-like symptoms. Google "relational betrayal" or "intimate betrayal".

Feeling like the whole thing is occurring again (or still occurring) is a common symptom of PTSD. It's called a flashback or re-experiencing.

The difficulty with new relationships is that they often provide triggers which pull one back to the original betrayal.

This is so true. My best friend was cheated on multiple times by her husband but she chose and still chooses to go with him. Any time he has to go out of town for work she is a complete mess for weeks before and until his return. I feel bad for her because that is no way to live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you include men that got cheated on, too, or is that too threadjacky?

Yes it is, please do not intrude on women's voices.

Wow. Of course you can voice your experience. The PP can skip over what you have to say if she doesn't want to read it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you include men that got cheated on, too, or is that too threadjacky?

Yes it is, please do not intrude on women's voices.

Wow. Of course you can voice your experience. The PP can skip over what you have to say if she doesn't want to read it.

Or he can start his own thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here..thanks for the responses so far.It seems it was only yesterday even though it has been a year since the split.

13 years today since the day my world was shattered. Although it does not hurt like it use to, it's still affects me on this date every year.

10 years, and there are still times when it all comes flooding back like I am in that moment again. Infidelity is a form of serious emotional abuse. Psychologists are increasingly recognizing that this kind of repetitive emotional abuse can cause PTSD-like symptoms. Google "relational betrayal" or "intimate betrayal".

Feeling like the whole thing is occurring again (or still occurring) is a common symptom of PTSD. It's called a flashback or re-experiencing.

The difficulty with new relationships is that they often provide triggers which pull one back to the original betrayal.

This is so true. My best friend was cheated on multiple times by her husband but she chose and still chooses to go with him. Any time he has to go out of town for work she is a complete mess for weeks before and until his return. I feel bad for her because that is no way to live.

Yikes, I know a lady that was in the same boat. Caught him twice, then I guess the light finally went on. Hired someone in a different city to check up on him for 2 days. Caught.

She didn't tell him, started selling some expensive stuff around the house for a year that he wouldn't miss. Got a good job and hid a lot of money away.
Did have fun torturing him, had a friend do hang up calls while he was there so he would think the AP was causing trouble. Sent some sexy thongs to herself, asked if he did that. He almost had a melt down, got in a fight with the AP. Hid a sound activated recorder, LOL.

They had 2 kids, and she wanted another so got pregnant. About 8 mo after the baby she served him with papers, all along she had been working with a lawyer. Ended up with the house, kids and lot's of child support. Today she is happily re-married. He's a much better partner and father to the kids. Her ex is struggling last I heard.

[Anonymous]

Did you all care that he cheated or were you just more embarrassed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here..thanks for the responses so far.It seems it was only yesterday even though it has been a year since the split.

13 years today since the day my world was shattered. Although it does not hurt like it use to, it's still affects me on this date every year.

10 years, and there are still times when it all comes flooding back like I am in that moment again. Infidelity is a form of serious emotional abuse. Psychologists are increasingly recognizing that this kind of repetitive emotional abuse can cause PTSD-like symptoms. Google "relational betrayal" or "intimate betrayal".

Feeling like the whole thing is occurring again (or still occurring) is a common symptom of PTSD. It's called a flashback or re-experiencing.

The difficulty with new relationships is that they often provide triggers which pull one back to the original betrayal.

This is so true. My best friend was cheated on multiple times by her husband but she chose and still chooses to go with him. Any time he has to go out of town for work she is a complete mess for weeks before and until his return. I feel bad for her because that is no way to live.

Yikes, I know a lady that was in the same boat. Caught him twice, then I guess the light finally went on. Hired someone in a different city to check up on him for 2 days. Caught.

She didn't tell him, started selling some expensive stuff around the house for a year that he wouldn't miss. Got a good job and hid a lot of money away.
Did have fun torturing him, had a friend do hang up calls while he was there so he would think the AP was causing trouble. Sent some sexy thongs to herself, asked if he did that. He almost had a melt down, got in a fight with the AP. Hid a sound activated recorder, LOL.

They had 2 kids, and she wanted another so got pregnant. About 8 mo after the baby she served him with papers, all along she had been working with a lawyer. Ended up with the house, kids and lot's of child support. Today she is happily re-married. He's a much better partner and father to the kids. Her ex is struggling last I heard.

I laughed until the child part. She's selfish

[Anonymous]

I thought that to when I found out, but she's a great mother; loves kids and they are all doing so much better. I think she was in her early 40's so I figured she thought it was her last chance.

Knowing the situation, the ex was the selfish horrible one. He willingly gave up a lot. Unusual but that lady did a 180 from being a door mat.

I wish more women would be smarter instead of crying, yelling, doormat behavior. Then take the creep back. My husband and I talk about this sometimes during happy hour. Quite a story, and I only told a little bit. Being happy is the best revenge, but a little torture in the process is ok, lol.

Oh and I won't post what she did to the other lady. She ended up losing her job...so funny. Cheaters and karma I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here..thanks for the responses so far.It seems it was only yesterday even though it has been a year since the split.

13 years today since the day my world was shattered. Although it does not hurt like it use to, it's still affects me on this date every year.

10 years, and there are still times when it all comes flooding back like I am in that moment again. Infidelity is a form of serious emotional abuse. Psychologists are increasingly recognizing that this kind of repetitive emotional abuse can cause PTSD-like symptoms. Google "relational betrayal" or "intimate betrayal".

Feeling like the whole thing is occurring again (or still occurring) is a common symptom of PTSD. It's called a flashback or re-experiencing.

The difficulty with new relationships is that they often provide triggers which pull one back to the original betrayal.

This is so true. My best friend was cheated on multiple times by her husband but she chose and still chooses to go with him. Any time he has to go out of town for work she is a complete mess for weeks before and until his return. I feel bad for her because that is no way to live.

Yikes, I know a lady that was in the same boat. Caught him twice, then I guess the light finally went on. Hired someone in a different city to check up on him for 2 days. Caught.

She didn't tell him, started selling some expensive stuff around the house for a year that he wouldn't miss. Got a good job and hid a lot of money away.
Did have fun torturing him, had a friend do hang up calls while he was there so he would think the AP was causing trouble. Sent some sexy thongs to herself, asked if he did that. He almost had a melt down, got in a fight with the AP. Hid a sound activated recorder, LOL.

They had 2 kids, and she wanted another so got pregnant. About 8 mo after the baby she served him with papers, all along she had been working with a lawyer. Ended up with the house, kids and lot's of child support. Today she is happily re-married. He's a much better partner and father to the kids. Her ex is struggling last I heard.

HOW many times will I read this story here?

[Anonymous]

I posted earlier, but I had another thought. I kind of end up sabotaging some of my new relationships. These are nice guys and they treat me well, but when I am close to falling in head over heels, I'll manufacture faults in them. I don't do it consciously, but I am seeing a pattern. I think I am afraid of getting hurt or being too vulnerable.

I'm working on it. Even with that, life is better than it was living with a cheater.

[Anonymous]

Yikes, I know a lady that was in the same boat. Caught him twice, then I guess the light finally went on. Hired someone in a different city to check up on him for 2 days. Caught.

She didn't tell him, started selling some expensive stuff around the house for a year that he wouldn't miss. Got a good job and hid a lot of money away.
Did have fun torturing him, had a friend do hang up calls while he was there so he would think the AP was causing trouble. Sent some sexy thongs to herself, asked if he did that. He almost had a melt down, got in a fight with the AP. Hid a sound activated recorder, LOL.

They had 2 kids, and she wanted another so got pregnant. About 8 mo after the baby she served him with papers, all along she had been working with a lawyer. Ended up with the house, kids and lot's of child support. Today she is happily re-married. He's a much better partner and father to the kids. Her ex is struggling last I heard.

Thats another level of revenge there. Sheet I would hate to be in that guy shoes. I'm sure he deserves some of it but that is just plain wrong imo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you all care that he cheated or were you just more embarrassed?

22:56 here.... Of course I cared. The revelation of his cheating (multiple) all came to light at the same time. It causes you to question everything you ever thought to be true. I don't remember the feeling of embarrassment as much as I do the feeling of just wanting to die... actually it was like someone close to me died. I don't know why I stayed (no one pressured me) other than he was extremely remorseful and willing to do whatever it took to stay together. Looking back now, I sometimes wonder if I just failed to recognize that as his controlling narcissistic personality, not willing to let me go..although he screwed up. "He" was probably the one more worried about the "embarrassment" if the truth became widely known.

Other posters wrote about PTSD like symptoms that follow this sort of thing and I can identify. I am still affected today and can honestly say I will probably always question if I did the right thing by staying. I had a two young children at the time (one was a newborn) so that played into my vulnerability too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would get married again (after my alimony ends), but I could also be very happy just living with someone.

I questioned my own skills at judging people for a while after I found out about the cheating. It was almost as if I didn't trust myself to choose the right person (because clearly I had failed at that the last time). It took some time dating to be ready to allow myself to really jump into a relationship again.

I find that I am definitely more skeptical about guy's honesty now. I'm pretty sure that some of the guys that my gut tells me are "sketchy" are probably nice guys, but I listen to my gut more now. I have discovered that there are really wonderful, honest men out there.

I still enjoy seeing couples in love. Seeing happily married friends makes me happy. I was so terrified that I would become a bitter man-hater, but I am pleased to report that I am not.

My problem in relationships is that I am scared to get hurt that badly again. I was devastated when I found out about the cheating. I don't regret my marriage because my kids are the best thing ever, but I regret the effect that the cheating had on my self-confidence and trust in men.

I am definitely ready to love deeply and fully again!

I love this. I feel similarly, and I had a very horrible first marriage that involved serial infidelity and a personality disorder on my ex-husband's part. None of it showed up until he was in his late forties.

I still feel the same as you. Pretty much every word.

I know I will find my partner, but I need to take it very slow and never make a mistake like that again. (Not that I could have known.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Yikes, I know a lady that was in the same boat. Caught him twice, then I guess the light finally went on. Hired someone in a different city to check up on him for 2 days. Caught.

She didn't tell him, started selling some expensive stuff around the house for a year that he wouldn't miss. Got a good job and hid a lot of money away.
Did have fun torturing him, had a friend do hang up calls while he was there so he would think the AP was causing trouble. Sent some sexy thongs to herself, asked if he did that. He almost had a melt down, got in a fight with the AP. Hid a sound activated recorder, LOL.

They had 2 kids, and she wanted another so got pregnant. About 8 mo after the baby she served him with papers, all along she had been working with a lawyer. Ended up with the house, kids and lot's of child support. Today she is happily re-married. He's a much better partner and father to the kids. Her ex is struggling last I heard.

Thats another level of revenge there. Sheet I would hate to be in that guy shoes. I'm sure he deserves some of it but that is just plain wrong imo.


+1
Now that's how you do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Yikes, I know a lady that was in the same boat. Caught him twice, then I guess the light finally went on. Hired someone in a different city to check up on him for 2 days. Caught.

She didn't tell him, started selling some expensive stuff around the house for a year that he wouldn't miss. Got a good job and hid a lot of money away.
Did have fun torturing him, had a friend do hang up calls while he was there so he would think the AP was causing trouble. Sent some sexy thongs to herself, asked if he did that. He almost had a melt down, got in a fight with the AP. Hid a sound activated recorder, LOL.

They had 2 kids, and she wanted another so got pregnant. About 8 mo after the baby she served him with papers, all along she had been working with a lawyer. Ended up with the house, kids and lot's of child support. Today she is happily re-married. He's a much better partner and father to the kids. Her ex is struggling last I heard.

Thats another level of revenge there. Sheet I would hate to be in that guy shoes. I'm sure he deserves some of it but that is just plain wrong imo.

I love this!! She's very smart