Do you have an ADHD or aspergers child in a mainstream private?

[Anonymous]

Please share your experiences. I posted something similar in special needs but didn't get much information. My child is inattentive ADHD and struggles socially enormously. He is bright though and works hard. I am curious about green acres, oneness, Burke and field for later years. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

We were in a private locally which stated clearly on their admissions materials that they couldn't accommodate certain conditions as they didn't have the staff and facilities to do so.

I think this is quite a common trait of the local privates but hopefully someone with better information will come along and answer your post.

[Anonymous]

How old is your child at this point? I know you will find ADD kids at some of these schools, and I would guess all of them. The issue for school administrators in the first instance is whether the child is disruptive -- whether the school has sufficient staffing / resources -- more than whether the child is learning as much as he /she should, although both should be of great importance. I also know schools will sometimes count how many children in a given class are likely to need more attention - on other words, a schools may reject a kid just like another it accepted because the school will only think the treacherous can handle x number of kids that may need more attention. As for Aspie/HFA, these considerations apply, but the issues are more complex. But as you know, OP, there is a huge range of behaviors exhibited by such children at different ages. So no comments here would be useful without context. You also have to consider how much the administrators understand HFA or hold preconceived prejudices. And finally, if your child is in early elementary years, bear in mind he can change a lot between now and high school. It is really a waste of time to be evaluating high schools for a child in lower elementary school. So tje starting point for anyone here to give advice is to know your child's age. Sorry, no easy quick answers.

[Anonymous]

Bad spellcheck typos -- the worst above, meant "teachers" not "treacherous."

[Anonymous]

Green acres for sure

[Anonymous]

Not sure about Aspergers, but ALL the mainstream privates have ADHD kids, without question. And I'd guess that more than 90% of the kids are on meds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure about Aspergers, but ALL the mainstream privates have ADHD kids, without question. And I'd guess that more than 90% of the kids are on meds.

It's probably like 100% at least past preschool. It's either meds or being counseled out if there are significant behavior and/or academic issues.

[Anonymous]

Agree. Every mainstream private has plenty of kids with ADHD. It is not stigmatized unless it is so severe that it causes behavior problems or serious learning problems.

ASD I'm not so sure. My sense is that schools are more nervous about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree. Every mainstream private has plenty of kids with ADHD. It is not stigmatized unless it is so severe that it causes behavior problems or serious learning problems.

ASD I'm not so sure. My sense is that schools are more nervous about that.

I've always had the impression that the school play date and observation required for admissions by many private schools in the lower grades like preschool, K, 1, etc was to weed out kids with the kind of social issues commonly seen in kids with ASD.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I have an inattentive ADHD child in another mainstream private not mentioned above. Agree with other posters that they are in all the independents. Best bet is for you to visit and not to stress out too much yourself. Find a school where your child is comfortable and where your child will develop well in a strong community that cultivates a joy of learning.

[Anonymous]

OP- I don't live in DC anymore. I have an ADHD/ unmedicated DS9 in mainstream private. He is intellectually exceptionally gifted and impaired in social pragmatics. It's not going very well-- especially socially. He has no friends. One playdate invitation in 2 1/2 years-- and he's so lonely.

If I had a great public school option or a therapeutic school that wound prioritize his intellect, I would take it. I am desperate for a 2e private, but they are rare and none in our area.

There are no perfect or even very good options for kids with my DS's learning profile. Except perhaps a 2e environment.

[Anonymous]

OP, have you looked into social skills classes in your area? It sounds like exactly what he needs.
One other idea...which has probably occurred to you already...is to volunteer or do whatever to figure out which kid or kids is most like him (a little geeky, awkward, smart, whatever) and invite him over for a play date. Have some good snacks and some video games or minecraft ready to cue up when the social stuff gets awkward. I know ideally they could have a screen-free play date, you might need some social grease to get them wheels going, so to speak. Unfortunately, it seems like boys often communicate better where there is a ball, toy gun, or remote control involved.

[Anonymous]

There are definitely ADHD kids at all mainstream schools. I can't speak to Aspergers. What will keep a child out of most schools is disruptive behavior. Beyond that, you really need to ask specific questions of each school to see what they can do to support your child. Most mainstream schools don't provide interventions but will provide common accommodations like extra time. I would question the AD on steps they would take to support your child's executive function skills and social skills.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why people try to bucket Aspergers and ADHD together. An Aspergers kid is going to be a lot more disruptive, high maintenance, than an ADHD child. I have a child with ADHD and he is no longer medicated, and is a straight A student in a private high school in DC. He does get some minimal accommodations like extended time for tests and preferential seating.

As for Aspergers, I know several children with this disorder, and I can tell you it is rare that they would do well in a mainstream environment. The two disorders are very different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why people try to bucket Aspergers and ADHD together. An Aspergers kid is going to be a lot more disruptive, high maintenance, than an ADHD child. I have a child with ADHD and he is no longer medicated, and is a straight A student in a private high school in DC. He does get some minimal accommodations like extended time for tests and preferential seating.

As for Aspergers, I know several children with this disorder, and I can tell you it is rare that they would do well in a mainstream environment. The two disorders are very different.

I agree with you that the two shouldn't be lumped together and are very different. I disagree, though, with the presumption that a child with Aspergers will be disruptive. While it may possibly be (I don't know) that a child with Aspergers is more likely to be disruptive than the general population, the vast majority of kids with social thinking challenges are NOT disruptive. This is a prejudice that too often operates against kids with these challenges who are actually strong classroom performers both in terms of academics and comportment.

Where kids with social thinking challenges tend to struggle the most is in unstructured interactions like those on the playground. The structured environment of the classroom often suits Asperger kids as much or more than it does neurotypical kids.