Do you have an ADHD or aspergers child in a mainstream private?

[Anonymous]

Meant "bad fit" above

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And just because the kid can pass as NT during the interview and application process does not mean that they will thrive at the school.

Absolutely true. Of course, the same can be said for every other child. I know many families that started out at GDS, Sidwell, Maret, etc and later transferred to other schools or stayed there as lifers even though it was a as fit as the students got older.

Yeah, but knowing that your child has a diagnosis like Asperger's and hiding it from the school hoping that they will get in and thrive is just stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And just because the kid can pass as NT during the interview and application process does not mean that they will thrive at the school.

Absolutely true. Of course, the same can be said for every other child. I know many families that started out at GDS, Sidwell, Maret, etc and later transferred to other schools or stayed there as lifers even though it was a as fit as the students got older.

Yeah, but knowing that your child has a diagnosis like Asperger's and hiding it from the school hoping that they will get in and thrive is just stupid.

No, but you sound stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And just because the kid can pass as NT during the interview and application process does not mean that they will thrive at the school.

Absolutely true. Of course, the same can be said for every other child. I know many families that started out at GDS, Sidwell, Maret, etc and later transferred to other schools or stayed there as lifers even though it was a as fit as the students got older.

Yeah, but knowing that your child has a diagnosis like Asperger's and hiding it from the school hoping that they will get in and thrive is just stupid.

No, but you sound stupid.

Again. Mainstream private schools ask on their application about any diagnosis, IEP, 504, at least for middle school upwards. Probably bc they got burned one too many times from parents who did not want to reveal their child's issues bc they were afraid their kid may not get in.

By lying on the application, it'll make it easier for the school to counsel your child out if they are having problems.

If the school feels that they cannot support your child's issues then maybe you should listen to them.

[Anonymous]

if your child had the gene for breadth cancer or a rare disease, must you disclose it? What if he needed surgery as a toddler to fix a birth defect? Schools have a right to know things likely to impact the student's performance, attentiveness, treatment of other students and teachers, but not one's entire medical history. A diagnosis of autistic spectrum disorder is a medical diagnosis. Now, if the child had an IEP in public school and that reflects the diagnosis at the time you apply to school, that is tougher issue. But even then - what if the parents disagreed with a school's diagnosis? What if two doctors disagrees? It gets complocated.

[Anonymous]

Breast cancer - bad typo, sorry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if your child had the gene for breadth cancer or a rare disease, must you disclose it? What if he needed surgery as a toddler to fix a birth defect? Schools have a right to know things likely to impact the student's performance, attentiveness, treatment of other students and teachers, but not one's entire medical history. A diagnosis of autistic spectrum disorder is a medical diagnosis. Now, if the child had an IEP in public school and that reflects the diagnosis at the time you apply to school, that is tougher issue. But even then - what if the parents disagreed with a school's diagnosis? What if two doctors disagrees? It gets complocated.

Having ASD has educational impact: This is why it is one of the categories in IDEA under which a child can get an IEP.

Private schools ask about IEPs and 504 and therapies/medical issues that maybe relevant to a child's education and even if they did not, they ask for school records and teacher recommendations to try to get a picture of the "whole child". So it is very doubtful that you'll be able to keep an ASD diagnosis or similar issues a secret if your child is applying for middle/high school. Private schools know some parents try to do this and watch out for it. Sorry if this is not what you want to hear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- I don't live in DC anymore. I have an ADHD/ unmedicated DS9 in mainstream private. He is intellectually exceptionally gifted and impaired in social pragmatics. It's not going very well-- especially socially. He has no friends. One playdate invitation in 2 1/2 years-- and he's so lonely.

If I had a great public school option or a therapeutic school that wound prioritize his intellect, I would take it. I am desperate for a 2e private, but they are rare and none in our area.

There are no perfect or even very good options for kids with my DS's learning profile. Except perhaps a 2e environment.

Sorry to hear this. Can you reach out to parents and invite them for playdates? Maybe even children a little older if he is that gifted he may be years ahead of his peers. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if your child had the gene for breadth cancer or a rare disease, must you disclose it? What if he needed surgery as a toddler to fix a birth defect? Schools have a right to know things likely to impact the student's performance, attentiveness, treatment of other students and teachers, but not one's entire medical history. A diagnosis of autistic spectrum disorder is a medical diagnosis. Now, if the child had an IEP in public school and that reflects the diagnosis at the time you apply to school, that is tougher issue. But even then - what if the parents disagreed with a school's diagnosis? What if two doctors disagrees? It gets complocated.

If you are talking about middle school, you are talking about 11 yr olds and 11 yr old don't get misdiagnosed with ASDs. 3 yr olds, maybe. 11 yr olds, doubtful.

[Anonymous]

PP with HFA kid trying to find a mainstream private for MS. We are very upfront in interviews with schools despite the likelihood that our child could "pass" as NT in a school visit. We would not be serving our child well if we tried to deny who she is. But, given the responses from the private schools so far, I can understand how a frustrated parent of a kid with HFA would be tempted to try to get around the admissions process and deal with therapies outside of school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP with HFA kid trying to find a mainstream private for MS. We are very upfront in interviews with schools despite the likelihood that our child could "pass" as NT in a school visit. We would not be serving our child well if we tried to deny who she is. But, given the responses from the private schools so far, I can understand how a frustrated parent of a kid with HFA would be tempted to try to get around the admissions process and deal with therapies outside of school.

Have you looked at Field? It was recommended by our neuropsych for our ASD/ADHD DS but it isn't a good fit for us academically bc we need a rigorous math curriculum. DS's psychiatrist thinks a public magnet with IEP will work better but we don't want to move to MD or VA. We've found that in school supports work better for DS than any outside therapies but YMMV.

Look at Field. It does look like a very inclusive, welcoming school. Also, your child's doctors like ours should be able to make some recommendations.

[Anonymous]

Thanks, 19:24. We have looked at Field but have exactly the same issue as you mentioned! Our child has strength in math and we would like to find a school that can play to that strength. I appreciate the other input. We will also check in with members of our child's therapy team and hopefully will find some good ideas there. Any others from anyone else out there are welcome too!

Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:if your child had the gene for breadth cancer or a rare disease, must you disclose it? What if he needed surgery as a toddler to fix a birth defect? Schools have a right to know things likely to impact the student's performance, attentiveness, treatment of other students and teachers, but not one's entire medical history. A diagnosis of autistic spectrum disorder is a medical diagnosis. Now, if the child had an IEP in public school and that reflects the diagnosis at the time you apply to school, that is tougher issue. But even then - what if the parents disagreed with a school's diagnosis? What if two doctors disagrees? It gets complocated.

If you are talking about middle school, you are talking about 11 yr olds and 11 yr old don't get misdiagnosed with ASDs. 3 yr olds, maybe. 11 yr olds, doubtful.

Hi, I am the poster you are responding too and I agree with your statement, but the fact is that many ASD kids are diagnosed by age 5 or before. In your example, by the time a child diagnosed at 4 turns 11, for example, he/she could have had 7 years of intervention. if that were the case, do you still believe an applicant must disclose this history to a middle school automatically without any consideration of particulars. Fortunately, when we applied for middle school our school - at least at that time - only required is to submit copies of educational testing that was done within the past three years. Our testing was further back than that so we did not have to make any misrepresentation. But I too had the experience when our DC was younger a private elementary school - supposedly one tolerant of at least some kids with some "issues" - refused to even meet our DC because we were open about DC's diagnosis. I know tons of parents in MoCo who tried to game the system by keeping a PDD-NOD or other diagnosis as long as possible in anticipation of applying to private schools. Privates need to still up their staff education about these kids to spot them and understand them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, 19:24. We have looked at Field but have exactly the same issue as you mentioned! Our child has strength in math and we would like to find a school that can play to that strength. I appreciate the other input. We will also check in with members of our child's therapy team and hopefully will find some good ideas there. Any others from anyone else out there are welcome too!

Good luck to you.

Field seems to be the default recommendation for all.quirky.kids.

I've met kids with Asperger's who attend Big 3 schools and many other mainstream privates but they were all diagnosed while attending the school. Met them all in the waiting room of social skills classes for kids with ASD so these schools expect everyone to get outside supports and getting an ASD diagnosis doesn't mean that the kid will immediately be counseled out but that does not mean that the mainstream privates will knowingly accept a child with ASD either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, 19:24. We have looked at Field but have exactly the same issue as you mentioned! Our child has strength in math and we would like to find a school that can play to that strength. I appreciate the other input. We will also check in with members of our child's therapy team and hopefully will find some good ideas there. Any others from anyone else out there are welcome too!

Good luck to you.

I posted above that we also will be looking for a mainstream private middle school for my hfa child in a few years. Field is on my radar, but my child also needs a strong math curriculum. I hope we're all able to find something that works.