Party requesting guests to take shoes off

[Anonymous]

I would be fine with it as long as slipper socks were offered for those not wearing their own socks.

[Anonymous]

I guess feet and shoes are the masks of 2024.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Fo most Americans, when they are attending a large social gathering, they don't expect to take their shoes off. If it's hundreds of people, a really high percentage of them are going to feel weird wandering around in socks or barefoot. They won't be prepared for it. If you are really insistent on things, I'd either cancel the social function or make peace with some vacuuming and mopping afterwards.

NP here, but, is this really true? In the DC area? We are in NoVa and, where we live, at least, people always semi-expect to take shoes off in the home. Maybe because our school is around 50% Asian/Muslim but it's pretty standard. No one is offended, most expect it. I'm really struggling to figure out where people live that this idea is "so crazy and unexpected"???

Agreed. This isn't uncommon anymore. The few people who are so rabid to keep their shoes on likely know many people who do this, they just refuse to associate with them lest someone see their nasty feet

Op here. I think it is different if I am inviting friends or our kids’ friends to our home vs complete strangers.

We keep an immaculate home. I will just invite people we actually have a relationship with or want a relationship with who would respect our wishes. I am so glad I actually asked this question on here. I thought most people would say that it would be no big deal but obviously many people would find the request to take their shoes off offensive.

I keep an immaculate home as well but I wouldn't ask guests at a school dinner party to take their shoes off. I bet your house isn't as clean as you think but in any event you reek of judgment.

Not OP, but you (and everyone else whining about not taking shoes off) are literally revealing yourselves to be a complete and total clowns who enjoy living in filth and squalor. Yes, we are judging you unless you literally have a maid at the door ready to follow guests with a mop, bucket, and rug shampooer.

This is disordered. It's a house, not an operating theatre.

[Anonymous]

We remove our shoes in our home, but do not require it of guests. I want them to do what they are comfortable with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess feet and shoes are the masks of 2024.

No, not even remotely relevant.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Fo most Americans, when they are attending a large social gathering, they don't expect to take their shoes off. If it's hundreds of people, a really high percentage of them are going to feel weird wandering around in socks or barefoot. They won't be prepared for it. If you are really insistent on things, I'd either cancel the social function or make peace with some vacuuming and mopping afterwards.

NP here, but, is this really true? In the DC area? We are in NoVa and, where we live, at least, people always semi-expect to take shoes off in the home. Maybe because our school is around 50% Asian/Muslim but it's pretty standard. No one is offended, most expect it. I'm really struggling to figure out where people live that this idea is "so crazy and unexpected"???

Agreed. This isn't uncommon anymore. The few people who are so rabid to keep their shoes on likely know many people who do this, they just refuse to associate with them lest someone see their nasty feet

Op here. I think it is different if I am inviting friends or our kids’ friends to our home vs complete strangers.

We keep an immaculate home. I will just invite people we actually have a relationship with or want a relationship with who would respect our wishes. I am so glad I actually asked this question on here. I thought most people would say that it would be no big deal but obviously many people would find the request to take their shoes off offensive.

I keep an immaculate home as well but I wouldn't ask guests at a school dinner party to take their shoes off. I bet your house isn't as clean as you think but in any event you reek of judgment.

Not OP, but you (and everyone else whining about not taking shoes off) are literally revealing yourselves to be a complete and total clowns who enjoy living in filth and squalor. Yes, we are judging you unless you literally have a maid at the door ready to follow guests with a mop, bucket, and rug shampooer.

What? So what about clothes that are covered in germs from everywhere. Are guests not allowed on the furniture as well?

No animals either, right? Do you jump in the shower and wash your clothes every time you come home?
This isn't about cleanliness, it's about a probable OCD issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my 60 years of living I have only been to one party where the host demanded guests to remove shoes.(and it was awkward ). I’ve been to lots and lots of social events in many states and countries and I always dress up and include shoes as part of my outfit. Everyone else wears shoes too. I think it’s strange to have a party and ask people to go shoe-less. Never in my life have I seen this. And I know a lot of people and haven’t been living under a rock.

Do you have any Asian friends?

NP- I do. Most allow shoes. Some ask to remove, but we know that already. No one is surprised.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this. Since when does taking off shoes equal barefoot? Don’t people wear socks (most of the times)? If being barefoot makes you so uncomfortable, just wear socks.

Socks are a slipping invitation. I know someone who slipped and broke collar bone wearing socks at a "no shoes home" party. Why can't you just vacuum your floors after party like the rest of us?

LOL again, something that never happened.

My gosh, americans are just cowering in fear of removing their shoes lest they get some horrific disease or break bones? GMAFB. Making up sh!t like this doesnt make your position stronger, it weakens it that you have to go to such extreme lengths to try and smear it.

Then be a sh!tty host. People have told you they don’t want to take their shoes off but you’re going to insist they do anyway. There’s terrible hosting. So do what you want but you’re not in the right here. You’re making your guests uncomfortable on purpose.

NP.

No- sorry not sorry. Those are terrible guests for not removing shoes when requested.

People who dislike removing shoes in this situation are culturally insensitive. Maybe even borderline racists.

Ha, ok. You want to win because you think you can call people racist for not removing their shoes with no warning in a situation that is not expected (this is not an open house). You're not right and you're not better. You are, however, welcome to ask people to take their shoes off. And they are welcome to respond as they wish.

But it my house my rules. You can back da f away

DP but how do you not understand that the attitude of your response (my house my rules if you’re uncomfortable back da f away) is basically the definition of being a terrible host? Good hosts prioritize the comfort of their GUESTS, not themselves.

So as multiple people have said, if you’re not prepared to be a good host, just don’t host. Problem solved.

You keep forgetting that people need to be good GUESTS too. Saying "my shoes stay on no matter what" is just as poor of an attitude for a guest to have in someone elses home.

How your guests may or may not hypothetically behave has nothing whatsoever to do with whether you are being a good host. If you can ONLY act like a good host if all of your guests are perfectly behaved (according to your own rules of acceptable behavior) then you are NOT a good host.

To be fair, no one is obligated to host anything. If you don’t care at all about your guest’s comfort (which you clearly don’t) then just.don’t.host.

Most people have house rules. No smoking, pork not served, shoes off, no alcohol, feet off the furniture, to name a few. it’s not a free for all for the guests to do as they please and have everything as they like it. I tell my kids to be respectful in other’s homes and follow rules that may not be the same as at our home. And I will remind kids who visit my home “in this house we do X.” Did some adults actually not learn those rules themselves? You may not agree but it’s the norm to respect their rules and customs for the short time you visit once pointed out. If someone asked you to smoke outside would you actually not comply b/c it’s cold out and you don’t want to? That would be ridiculous.

Agreed. Why people think their rules should override the homeowners requests is so bizarre to me.

For crying out loud. People are saying they would be annoyed to have to remove their dress shoes with no warning. Just like many people would probably be annoyed to show up at a dinner and find out no alcohol will be served. I don't drink a lot and I keep my feet in good shape but if I (a) brought a bottle of wine to the party thinking I'd get to enjoy it and paid for an Uber to drive us because we expected to drink and (b) wore a long dress or pants that will now drag on the floor without my heels, I'm going to be annoyed. That doesn't mean I'm going to ignore your house rules, but as a guest I would think you were being really rigid.

How are you comparing the wearing of shoes to alcohol, as if alcohol was a dietary staple for everyone? Everyone wears shoes. Some people drink alcohol, and even then, not everywhere they go.
So you are the one who is barefoot and buzzed at the party, eh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will not remove my shoes in any home. This is part of my clothes, the shoes match the dress or pant or whatever, and I am not walking around with bare feet in your house, with everyone else's bare feet. I also do.not.want.to.see.everyone's toes. Gross. Do you see this at State dinners, or dinner parties, or the theater, or in schools, or anywhere? Learn to clean your floors. No. Jesus. If you need to do this, warn
everyone ahead, so they can bring their inside shoes.

Actually the elementary schools (and daycares) around here require a change of shoes. Indoor shoes and outdoor shoes.

I have taught school for 38 years, 11 different schools, 3 regional areas,and overseas. I have never encountered that anywhere. AND that would never be able to be enforced. Asking a kid to be responsible for even one set of sneakers is already pushing it. Come on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fo most Americans, when they are attending a large social gathering, they don't expect to take their shoes off. If it's hundreds of people, a really high percentage of them are going to feel weird wandering around in socks or barefoot. They won't be prepared for it. If you are really insistent on things, I'd either cancel the social function or make peace with some vacuuming and mopping afterwards.

NP here, but, is this really true? In the DC area? We are in NoVa and, where we live, at least, people always semi-expect to take shoes off in the home. Maybe because our school is around 50% Asian/Muslim but it's pretty standard. No one is offended, most expect it. I'm really struggling to figure out where people live that this idea is "so crazy and unexpected"???

Agreed. This isn't uncommon anymore. The few people who are so rabid to keep their shoes on likely know many people who do this, they just refuse to associate with them lest someone see their nasty feet

Op here. I think it is different if I am inviting friends or our kids’ friends to our home vs complete strangers.

We keep an immaculate home. I will just invite people we actually have a relationship with or want a relationship with who would respect our wishes. I am so glad I actually asked this question on here. I thought most people would say that it would be no big deal but obviously many people would find the request to take their shoes off offensive.

I keep an immaculate home as well but I wouldn't ask guests at a school dinner party to take their shoes off. I bet your house isn't as clean as you think but in any event you reek of judgment.

Not OP, but you (and everyone else whining about not taking shoes off) are literally revealing yourselves to be a complete and total clowns who enjoy living in filth and squalor. Yes, we are judging you unless you literally have a maid at the door ready to follow guests with a mop, bucket, and rug shampooer.

You are clearly dim. We don’t wear our shoes inside - I said I would never ask guests at a school dinner party to remove them. Also, I never said I wouldn’t remove my shoes at someone else’s house if asked. So no, I don’t live in filth and squalor but I definitely wouldn’t invite you to my house anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my 60 years of living I have only been to one party where the host demanded guests to remove shoes.(and it was awkward ). I’ve been to lots and lots of social events in many states and countries and I always dress up and include shoes as part of my outfit. Everyone else wears shoes too. I think it’s strange to have a party and ask people to go shoe-less. Never in my life have I seen this. And I know a lot of people and haven’t been living under a rock.

Do you have any Asian friends?

Yes. Asian. Indian. Russian. French. Hispanic. Portuguese. British. Egyptian. Persian and Norwegian. We both worked in DC for many years and our kids at two of the privates with lots of international families. As a matter of fact families hosted these parent get togethers that OP is discussing at beginning of each academic year at family homes. So I’ve been to a lot of these events as well. Never had to remove shoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Fo most Americans, when they are attending a large social gathering, they don't expect to take their shoes off. If it's hundreds of people, a really high percentage of them are going to feel weird wandering around in socks or barefoot. They won't be prepared for it. If you are really insistent on things, I'd either cancel the social function or make peace with some vacuuming and mopping afterwards.

NP here, but, is this really true? In the DC area? We are in NoVa and, where we live, at least, people always semi-expect to take shoes off in the home. Maybe because our school is around 50% Asian/Muslim but it's pretty standard. No one is offended, most expect it. I'm really struggling to figure out where people live that this idea is "so crazy and unexpected"???

Agreed. This isn't uncommon anymore. The few people who are so rabid to keep their shoes on likely know many people who do this, they just refuse to associate with them lest someone see their nasty feet

Op here. I think it is different if I am inviting friends or our kids’ friends to our home vs complete strangers.

We keep an immaculate home. I will just invite people we actually have a relationship with or want a relationship with who would respect our wishes. I am so glad I actually asked this question on here. I thought most people would say that it would be no big deal but obviously many people would find the request to take their shoes off offensive.

I keep an immaculate home as well but I wouldn't ask guests at a school dinner party to take their shoes off. I bet your house isn't as clean as you think but in any event you reek of judgment.

Not OP, but you (and everyone else whining about not taking shoes off) are literally revealing yourselves to be a complete and total clowns who enjoy living in filth and squalor. Yes, we are judging you unless you literally have a maid at the door ready to follow guests with a mop, bucket, and rug shampooer.

What? So what about clothes that are covered in germs from everywhere. Are guests not allowed on the furniture as well?

No animals either, right? Do you jump in the shower and wash your clothes every time you come home?
This isn't about cleanliness, it's about a probable OCD issue.

Yes, the animal thing is the biggest hypocrisy among these crazy people.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s fine to mention on invite, then people want to come will decide to bring their own socks or stay bare feet. Everyone has their own house rule and theres no right or wrong about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will not remove my shoes in any home. This is part of my clothes, the shoes match the dress or pant or whatever, and I am not walking around with bare feet in your house, with everyone else's bare feet. I also do.not.want.to.see.everyone's toes. Gross. Do you see this at State dinners, or dinner parties, or the theater, or in schools, or anywhere? Learn to clean your floors. No. Jesus. If you need to do this, warn
everyone ahead, so they can bring their inside shoes.

Actually the elementary schools (and daycares) around here require a change of shoes. Indoor shoes and outdoor shoes.

I have taught school for 38 years, 11 different schools, 3 regional areas,and overseas. I have never encountered that anywhere. AND that would never be able to be enforced. Asking a kid to be responsible for even one set of sneakers is already pushing it. Come on.

In Canada this is super common. The children leave the indoor shoes at school/daycare.

American children can't be trusted with more than 1 pair of shoes, and American adults all have nasty feet or a host of foot ailments. Perhaps they should take notice of the rest of the world who doesn't seem to have these hang ups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am from Norway originally and live in the states now so my perspective may be skewed but I've never had guests over who haven't taken off their shoes at the door. Wouldn't it be very unsanitary for people to be walking inside with their shoes on? I just find this very strange and frankly a bit gross.

Moreover I don't see how this is an inconvenience to anyone. What would their reservation be? And again, would people wear shoes even if they're walking on a rug or something? Do you have to mop/clean daily, and have floor coverings professionally cleaned frequently? Just trying to wrap my head around this, thanks.

Ludicrous.