Guys, let's be clear: JD Vance didn't have sex with his couch!
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Anonymous
| It was unprotected and now we have an abundance of love seats and arm chairs. |
Anonymous
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In your mind, hats with ears used to support reproductive rights are the equivalent of cups of jizz used to mock infertility?
Weird. |
Anonymous
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I had high hopes for this lecture at the Library of Congress this coming weekend:
https://www.loc.gov/item/event-413276/shhh-dont-tell-our-secret-about-the-couch-with-adam-rubin-and-liniers/2024-08-24/ |
Anonymous
| Bump jd is gross |
Anonymous
| If we have to create stories so that the American media actually pays attention to the suffering of American furniture, then that’s what we're going to do. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
| JD says it’s ok to make up stories so I guess he’s totally fine with this. |
Anonymous
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Vance is in true fact a rapist.
The couch is not capable of giving consent. Ergo, any sexual act performed with the couch is by definition without consent. Sex without consent is rape. Therefore JD Vance IS a rapist. Everyone can can agree on this. Even my 4 year old daughter understands he raped his couch and that makes him a rapist. |
Anonymous
| JD doesn't care if the couch was really an illegal alien. He declared that he would call it an illegal alien anyway. And then he raped it, because illegals have no rights. |
Anonymous
He says it is perfectly reasonable to spread unconfirmed allegations, rumors, and conspiracy theories. The media can fact check crazy allegations, but not before they have been amplified and exploited politically. |
Anonymous
How do you know? If it's because Vance says he didn't, he had already said that he will lie to advance the Trump/Vance ticket. |
Anonymous
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I don't claim to know the truth --- only that the rumor floating around saying that JD Vance raped a dark blue sectional on a warm fall day in 2001 at his cousin's house should be discussed. We should do our part to try and help get to the bottom of this.
Why won't JD Vance deny these allegations? I'm not accusing JD Vance of raping a dark blue sectional on a warm fall day in 2001 at his cousin's house -- in fact, I think he didn't! But I can't help but wonder, since he has failed to deny these horrible allegations. Why won't he deny that he raped a dark blue sectional on a warm fall day in 2001 at his cousin's house? |
Anonymous
He's also had sex with a warm apple pie |
Anonymous
He must be a serial couch rapist because I heard it was a cool, rainy day in March. |
Anonymous
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The truth is that Vance has been convicted of furniture sexual assault and has been deported back to Ohio. Now he is also guilty of eating accessory pillows and shams. So, if he is in any other state, he is an illegal immigrant to that state and needs to be extradited back to Ohio where he can be incarcerated for violation his probation.
After all, Vance says that if we need to create stories to call attention to the suffering of American couches, then that's what we're going to do. |