Catholic Confirmed, but non-believer

[Anonymous]

My DH and I are both raising our kids Catholic. Church weekly, catholic elementary school, continuing education on the journey to confirmation. But I'm not sure I want them to be confirmed. They don't believe in God, let alone Catholic doctrine.

For both my DH and me, we were confirmed despite not believing in God much or at all.

When you were confirmed, did you believe, or were you going through the motions to please someone else or to check off some required obligation you felt? Would you want your kids to be confirmed if they don't believe at that age?

Thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I are both raising our kids Catholic. Church weekly, catholic elementary school, continuing education on the journey to confirmation. But I'm not sure I want them to be confirmed. They don't believe in God, let alone Catholic doctrine.

For both my DH and me, we were confirmed despite not believing in God much or at all.

When you were confirmed, did you believe, or were you going through the motions to please someone else or to check off some required obligation you felt? Would you want your kids to be confirmed if they don't believe at that age?

Thanks

What's the point in 2 generations of people who don't believe in going through the motions. Who exactly are you pleasing? Certainly not each other.

Sounds like a lesson in hypocrisy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I are both raising our kids Catholic. Church weekly, catholic elementary school, continuing education on the journey to confirmation. But I'm not sure I want them to be confirmed. They don't believe in God, let alone Catholic doctrine.

For both my DH and me, we were confirmed despite not believing in God much or at all.

When you were confirmed, did you believe, or were you going through the motions to please someone else or to check off some required obligation you felt? Would you want your kids to be confirmed if they don't believe at that age?

Thanks

What's the point in 2 generations of people who don't believe in going through the motions. Who exactly are you pleasing? Certainly not each other.

Sounds like a lesson in hypocrisy.

Exactly. What, OP, are you getting out of this? It's obviously important for you to go through the motions, but why? Unless of course you think there is something more to it than your preferably sophisticated selves like to profess?

[Anonymous]

ex-Catholic

never really believed, hardly thought the sacraments were special - They were more "cultural," as it's the Italian way.

I hated church. I tried going back when we had kids. My oldest had her communion. My second was baptized.

I can't imagine dragging the kids to church, as I don't believe, and neither do my daughter and husband. My son really doesn't "get it" yet.

not worth the effort at all

In fact, if there is a heaven and hell, and I don't get into heaven but the pedo who confessed to the priest does, then I'll know God is the OT God - vindictive and just plain fucking cruel.

[Anonymous]

Frenchwoman here. The majority of French are "culturally" Catholic (which has posed problems with North African integration for decades). Most do not go to church regularly, are pro-abortion and pro-contraception, and reject ultra-conservative values.

But they still get confirmed, and get married and buried according to the rites of the Catholic church

I was baptized as an infant and chose to go no further. Funnily enough, I do believe in God. Just not the trappings.

[Anonymous]

Not catholic, but raised Lutheran. My mom forced me to go through communion. Said I was too young to make that decision. A year later I went away to college and have never stepped in a Lutheran church since.

[Anonymous]

If they have clearly stated they don't believe in God then why make them get confirmed? I don't mean that in a snarky way, it's just not clear from your original post what your motivation is.

I was confirmed at 16 and didn't have any qualms about God, church, or the sacrament. However, given the choice, I probably wouldn't have been because as a teenager there was a lot of way more interesting stuff going on than fulfilling the requirements for Confirmation. But I wasn't given a choice.

[Anonymous]

You can't be a Catholic non believer.

[Anonymous]

OP here: My DH and I believe in God but have never believed in Jesus. We are cultural Catholics with robustly Catholic parents and extended family.

We attend church weekly because God is very important in the life of my DH and myself and because we actually are becoming more grateful and selfless as a result. We want our kids to be open-minded about the possibility of God. However, despite years of trying, I've gotten nowhere on Jesus and so forth.

So I think my answer for myself is I do not want to ask our kids to profess faith in something when they don't have it. "The mystery of faith" really is one to me.


Thank you for the responses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't be a Catholic non believer.

Then there an awful lot of hypocrites running around the church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: My DH and I believe in God but have never believed in Jesus. We are cultural Catholics with robustly Catholic parents and extended family.

We attend church weekly because God is very important in the life of my DH and myself and because we actually are becoming more grateful and selfless as a result. We want our kids to be open-minded about the possibility of God. However, despite years of trying, I've gotten nowhere on Jesus and so forth.

So I think my answer for myself is I do not want to ask our kids to profess faith in something when they don't have it. "The mystery of faith" really is one to me.


Thank you for the responses.

How are they ever going to have it, if you don't allow them exposure to it?

[Anonymous]

So you and your husband believe in God but not Jesus and neither of your kids believe in God?

And they are in Catholic school and you all attend mass weekly.

I think you need to have a family discussion on what you are trying to do here.

[Anonymous]

I'm Catholic, went to Catholic school, got all the sacraments. We married in a Catholic ceremony and got the kids baptized in the church. We are both sort of agnostic. I believe in God in a general sense and I think Jesus had a great message that isn't really reflected in any version of Christianity that I've encountered. I don't know that that makes me from a religious standpoint but I'm comfortable with this. We don't force religion on our kids and I encourage them to explore their own views and feelings.

I think being Catholic is a strong identity and there's a lot to enjoy in it, apart from actual religious beliefs. Don't worry about whether your beliefs actually jive with the church-- polling of Catholics indicates that most of us don't believe what we are "supposed" to. Still, it is a strong cultural tradition to pass to our kids. Just go with it. You're actually doing what most Catholics do.

[Anonymous]

Also, when I was confirmed I didn't yet believe in God.

[Anonymous]

Cradle Catholic and fairly devout these days. I have no idea why you would go through a sacrament that says you confirm you believe in things you don't believe in at all. Please don't encourage your kids to do this. Have a sweet 16 if they want a rite of passage with no religious meaning.