Catholic Confirmed, but non-believer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm Catholic, went to Catholic school, got all the sacraments. We married in a Catholic ceremony and got the kids baptized in the church. We are both sort of agnostic. I believe in God in a general sense and I think Jesus had a great message that isn't really reflected in any version of Christianity that I've encountered. I don't know that that makes me from a religious standpoint but I'm comfortable with this. We don't force religion on our kids and I encourage them to explore their own views and feelings.

I think being Catholic is a strong identity and there's a lot to enjoy in it, apart from actual religious beliefs. Don't worry about whether your beliefs actually jive with the church-- polling of Catholics indicates that most of us don't believe what we are "supposed" to. Still, it is a strong cultural tradition to pass to our kids. Just go with it. You're actually doing what most Catholics do.

like centuries of covering up pedophilia.

Seriously, all the traditions can be found in the episcopal church, without the evil at the core.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: My DH and I believe in God but have never believed in Jesus. We are cultural Catholics with robustly Catholic parents and extended family.

We attend church weekly because God is very important in the life of my DH and myself and because we actually are becoming more grateful and selfless as a result. We want our kids to be open-minded about the possibility of God. However, despite years of trying, I've gotten nowhere on Jesus and so forth.

So I think my answer for myself is I do not want to ask our kids to profess faith in something when they don't have it. "The mystery of faith" really is one to me.


Thank you for the responses.

HAve you thought about attending rcia?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: My DH and I believe in God but have never believed in Jesus. We are cultural Catholics with robustly Catholic parents and extended family.

We attend church weekly because God is very important in the life of my DH and myself and because we actually are becoming more grateful and selfless as a result. We want our kids to be open-minded about the possibility of God. However, despite years of trying, I've gotten nowhere on Jesus and so forth.

So I think my answer for myself is I do not want to ask our kids to profess faith in something when they don't have it. "The mystery of faith" really is one to me.


Thank you for the responses.

HAve you thought about attending rcia?

After deciding against church involvement? it doesn't make sense.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to find a church that aligns with your personal beliefs better. Please do not profess to a faith you don't fundamentally believe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to find a church that aligns with your personal beliefs better. Please do not profess to a faith you don't fundamentally believe.

They don't believe in Jesus -- sounds like Unitarianism to me, not any Christian church

[Anonymous]

OP, "confirmation" is exactly that, the confirmation of the faith. If at this point in time your children don't have that faith, then my thought as a lifelong Catholic is that you shouldn't have them do it. It's similar to people who want their babies to have a church baptism even if they don't believe in the purpose and faith behind that sacrament.

I do wonder, if you don't believe in Jesus yourself, if subconsciously or otherwise you've been undermining the teachings you've been encouraging. If your children have a sense of your own beliefs or lack thereof, then they were probably unlikely to simply pick it up. Perhaps you would all be better served having your faith needs met in an environment that works for all of you.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

once you start thinking of church as a social club, everything makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, "confirmation" is exactly that, the confirmation of the faith. If at this point in time your children don't have that faith, then my thought as a lifelong Catholic is that you shouldn't have them do it. It's similar to people who want their babies to have a church baptism even if they don't believe in the purpose and faith behind that sacrament.

I do wonder, if you don't believe in Jesus yourself, if subconsciously or otherwise you've been undermining the teachings you've been encouraging. If your children have a sense of your own beliefs or lack thereof, then they were probably unlikely to simply pick it up. Perhaps you would all be better served having your faith needs met in an environment that works for all of you.

Good luck.

It would be hard for kids not to know something about Jesus, given Christianity is so common, but to believe in him, you really need to be taught very carefully and be made aware of the huge benefits of believing (everlasting life next to God and Jesus in heaven) and the downsides of not believing - eternal punishment

[Anonymous]

Have you thought about other faith traditions? This one seems to be more of a habit than something that aligns with your beliefs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:once you start thinking of church as a social club, everything makes sense.

It is a social hour -where you dress to impress and then network like hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I are both raising our kids Catholic. Church weekly, catholic elementary school, continuing education on the journey to confirmation. But I'm not sure I want them to be confirmed. They don't believe in God, let alone Catholic doctrine.

For both my DH and me, we were confirmed despite not believing in God much or at all.

When you were confirmed, did you believe, or were you going through the motions to please someone else or to check off some required obligation you felt? Would you want your kids to be confirmed if they don't believe at that age?

Thanks

I'm a baptized and confirmed Catholic. No longer practicing one. Yes, I simply went through the motions because that's what my parents insisted I do. I have never been a believer. I definitely despised going to Wednesday evening catechism classes. I also disliked having to always turn in an offering envelope once a week so the Church could track I was going to mass. After confirmation I don't think I've been to a church other than for Funerals, Weddings, Baptisms and Confirmations.

[Anonymous]

Until the Church only allows confirmation of legal adults, it's impossible to take the sacrament seriously. I didn't want to be confirmed, but my mom made me. There were others in my confirmation class who went through with the sacrament for the same reason. Being confirmed didn't make me any less of an atheist!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I are both raising our kids Catholic. Church weekly, catholic elementary school, continuing education on the journey to confirmation. But I'm not sure I want them to be confirmed. They don't believe in God, let alone Catholic doctrine.

For both my DH and me, we were confirmed despite not believing in God much or at all.

When you were confirmed, did you believe, or were you going through the motions to please someone else or to check off some required obligation you felt? Would you want your kids to be confirmed if they don't believe at that age?

Thanks

I'm a baptized and confirmed Catholic. No longer practicing one. Yes, I simply went through the motions because that's what my parents insisted I do. I have never been a believer. I definitely despised going to Wednesday evening catechism classes. I also disliked having to always turn in an offering envelope once a week so the Church could track I was going to mass. After confirmation I don't think I've been to a church other than for Funerals, Weddings, Baptisms and Confirmations.

same
Such a drag, right? And I went to Catholic school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Until the Church only allows confirmation of legal adults, it's impossible to take the sacrament seriously. I didn't want to be confirmed, but my mom made me. There were others in my confirmation class who went through with the sacrament for the same reason. Being confirmed didn't make me any less of an atheist!

But now that you've gone through confirmation class and been slapped by the bishop, you are a certified Soldier of Christ, no matter what your beliefs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm Catholic, went to Catholic school, got all the sacraments. We married in a Catholic ceremony and got the kids baptized in the church. We are both sort of agnostic. I believe in God in a general sense and I think Jesus had a great message that isn't really reflected in any version of Christianity that I've encountered. I don't know that that makes me from a religious standpoint but I'm comfortable with this. We don't force religion on our kids and I encourage them to explore their own views and feelings.

I think being Catholic is a strong identity and there's a lot to enjoy in it, apart from actual religious beliefs. Don't worry about whether your beliefs actually jive with the church-- polling of Catholics indicates that most of us don't believe what we are "supposed" to. Still, it is a strong cultural tradition to pass to our kids. Just go with it. You're actually doing what most Catholics do.

like centuries of covering up pedophilia.

Seriously, all the traditions can be found in the episcopal church, without the evil at the core.

This sounds like an episcopalian to me. Perfectly politically correct about certain matters (e.g., would never dare say anything bad about Islamn) but willing to cheerfully call the church founded by St. Peter on Christ's instruction "evil at the core."