Insanely attracted to my male opposing counsel...

[Anonymous]

So recently I have been working mostly against male opposing counsels in my cases, I am a young (28) fairly attractive woman, and most are older (late 30s or early 40's) attractive high powered men. For context, most of them are partners in large firms, I am at a small plaintiff side employment firm. I am unhappily married, and don't know what to do. I guess this is more venting than anything. I don't know if it's necessarily because they are attractive or if it's more of a power play that is attracting me. I obviously can't act on it, but it's getting to the point of very distracting. For perspective, I have depositions against one for 4 days next month and can't stop thinking about my attraction to him. For what it's worth, I think there has been some innocent flirting. What should I do? I know the answer is squash these feelings and press forward professionally, but it's been really difficult.

[Anonymous]

Think about how screwed you'll be if you f* up your cases due to your little crush.
That should kill all desires.

[Anonymous]

You answered your own question, except to add: Grow Up.

[Anonymous]

Thank you, I don't think I am doing anything unethical, and I don't think I have compromised my cases because of it, but definitely something to stay vigilant about.

[Anonymous]

Work on your marriage. Or get out.

[Anonymous]

I'm much closer to dying of old age than you. The meaning of " You only live once " has more signifance to me than you. If I had to do all over again , I'd had started cheating 20 years sooner. You're not getting what you need at home.

[Anonymous]

Duh-older men, partners are going to look attractive. Money and power.

[Anonymous]

I have been a litigator for 25 years at DOJ and the only thing I think about my opposing counsel is how to beat them in the case. Focusing on attraction to them is not mature, not professional, and not appropriate. I would confer with a therapist if I were in your situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Work on your marriage. Or get out.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Duh-older men, partners are going to look attractive. Money and power.

Yup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been a litigator for 25 years at DOJ and the only thing I think about my opposing counsel is how to beat them in the case. Focusing on attraction to them is not mature, not professional, and not appropriate. I would confer with a therapist if I were in your situation.

Therapy?! FFS it's a crush on an older, high-power man (who, yes, would probably be thrilled if he knew).
I had a huge crush on one of my doctors (older, attractive, etc.) and would blush in his presence. Crushes happen.

[Anonymous]

What makes you think he wants your old ass

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Work on your marriage. Or get out.

+1

+3 and if you get out OP, I still wouldn't advise going after one of them. You'll ended in the same place you're at currently.

[Anonymous]

Oh for heavens sake, I have done surgeries with the most adorable anesthesiologist God has ever created on this great earth and I am not losing my license over thinking for a second how his eyes look like blue icicle daggers in a shimmering pool of liquid gold.

It's fine. Just make it a brief thought, give a pointed look at your coworkers (my nurses have NO skills in hiding their emotions) and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So recently I have been working mostly against male opposing counsels in my cases, I am a young (28) fairly attractive woman, and most are older (late 30s or early 40's) attractive high powered men. For context, most of them are partners in large firms, I am at a small plaintiff side employment firm. I am unhappily married, and don't know what to do. I guess this is more venting than anything. I don't know if it's necessarily because they are attractive or if it's more of a power play that is attracting me. I obviously can't act on it, but it's getting to the point of very distracting. For perspective, I have depositions against one for 4 days next month and can't stop thinking about my attraction to him. For what it's worth, I think there has been some innocent flirting. What should I do? I know the answer is squash these feelings and press forward professionally, but it's been really difficult.

I've always wondered exactly is meant by "high powered." Do they quaff Red Bull or something?