I think I'm gay... now what?
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Anonymous
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Been married for 13 years, have two kids. I don't want to break up my family or hurt my DH. But whenever we have sex, I can't stop thinking about how I wish I was with a woman instead (I've never had sex with a woman).
What do I do with this? |
Anonymous
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What's more important to you? Your options are keeping quiet and keeping what you have, coming completely clean and moving out, or discussing this with your spouse and offer an open marriage.
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Anonymous
| Do you typically think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence? Work on your marriage and love your children. You can't do that if you allow your mind to go elsewhere. |
Anonymous
| Just ask DH for a threesome. |
Anonymous
| Wait until the kids are grown and out of the office before you say something. |
Anonymous
House not office ugh |
Anonymous
| Are you sure you are gay and not bisexual? It might just be a sexual fantasy but if you have felt this way your whole life, then you are going to need to come clean. |
Anonymous
Why? Selfish much? The children are more important at this point. |
Anonymous
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Have you explored it in therapy? I just offer that as an interim step before making a huge decision. Have you always fantasized that it's a woman you are with? Have you thought of the possibility of actually romantically loving another woman? Not just the sex part. But all of it. A loving partner who's female.
The reasons I ask is that sexuality can be fluid and you can go in and out of stages of being sexually attracted to different sexes. I just read one study that said women are never 100% straight. I don't know how true that is. I feel I'm 100% straight, but fantasized about being with women in my 20s often. I never wanted to do it in real life, though. And now I don't have those types of feelings anymore (in my 40s). But I could never, ever imagine myself in a loving partnership with a woman. It's always a man. But it's not something that's always black and white. And if you are bisexual, that might be a very different situation than being gay. I do think you owe it to your family to flesh out these feelings as concretely as possible before possibly breaking up the family. But then, after you've done that, and you are fairly certain you are gay and you'd lead a much more authentic life as a gay woman, then it's best for all if you move forward in that direction. |
Anonymous
| A divorce is awful for the children. No one is beating on op. |
Anonymous
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This blog might be of help. Search his bi-sexual posts. He is attracted to women sexually and emotionally and wants to be in a relationship with them. But every once in awhile he has a hankering for a man.
Don't leave your marriage until you get a better understanding if you want just sex from a woman or a relationship too. http://www.danoah.com/ |
Anonymous
| Love is an action word. If you love your children, you work to keep their lives stable. |
Anonymous
+1000 |
Anonymous
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Been married 16 years, 3 kids, whenever i have sex with my 45 year old dh, i wish i were with a 25 year old. I just realized i prefer younger men.
What should i do with this? |
Anonymous
| Most of the PPs are giving horrendous advice. You are asking a gay woman to continue to have sex with a man? Seriously? You are asking her to spend her life in hell. She needs to determine if she is really gay and, if so, she must come clean and tell her husband the truth. If he is willing to open the marriage, then they can find ways to make it work. OP should not have to go through the hell of having sex with a man if it goes against her nature. |