I think I'm gay... now what?

[Anonymous]

There's a reason why they call it "bumpin uglies."

As a man, I think vaginas out of context are a little scary looking sometimes. A lot of straight men are notoriously squeemish about giving oral, even though they are attracted to women. I'm sure women sometimes feel the same way.

If I could offer any advice it would be to consider not labeling yourself and just accept that your sexuality doesn't neatly fall into gay/straight.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you should talk about this with your husband. I did, and he agreed to open up our marriage.

I always considered myself straight until I fell in love with a woman when I was 36 and had two children. When I met her, I had a feeling that I've been asleep my whole life and just woke up. She turned my world around, both sexually and emotionally. My husband and I are still a great team, we are good friends and our kids are always a priority. I lnow that this is not an ideal situation but at least we are honest with each other and don't lie or sneak around.

[Anonymous]

Before talking to your husband, talk to a counselor to help you sort out how to talk to your husband about this realization.

[Anonymous]

OP, please do not listen to the people saying that it is normal for a straight person to be disgusted by the genitals of the opposite sex. It is not at all normal. Plenty of people are living a lie. If you are feeling lust and hunger for women and you have never felt that for a man, then it is safe to assume that you are a lesbian and it is time to start accepting yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's a reason why they call it "bumpin uglies."

As a man, I think vaginas out of context are a little scary looking sometimes. A lot of straight men are notoriously squeemish about giving oral, even though they are attracted to women. I'm sure women sometimes feel the same way.

If I could offer any advice it would be to consider not labeling yourself and just accept that your sexuality doesn't neatly fall into gay/straight.

Wow, as a man, I have never heard this, although I am sure its not something a straight man is going to admit to his friends - "I don't really like pussy." I don't believe in labels and you could be straight as an arrow, but I think the vast majority of men love giving oral and would spend all day between a woman's legs if given a chance.

[Anonymous]

OP needs to stop watching lesbian porn. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's a reason why they call it "bumpin uglies."

As a man, I think vaginas out of context are a little scary looking sometimes. A lot of straight men are notoriously squeemish about giving oral, even though they are attracted to women. I'm sure women sometimes feel the same way.

If I could offer any advice it would be to consider not labeling yourself and just accept that your sexuality doesn't neatly fall into gay/straight.

The word itself makes some men uncomfortable

[Anonymous]

OP never gave enough information. Lack of attraction to one's husband and wondering about what one might have missed out on do not a lesbian make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you should talk about this with your husband. I did, and he agreed to open up our marriage.

I always considered myself straight until I fell in love with a woman when I was 36 and had two children. When I met her, I had a feeling that I've been asleep my whole life and just woke up. She turned my world around, both sexually and emotionally. My husband and I are still a great team, we are good friends and our kids are always a priority. I lnow that this is not an ideal situation but at least we are honest with each other and don't lie or sneak around.

Do you and your husband still have sex? Is it satisfying to you? Do you love each other? I admire that he agreed to this. Do you expect to stay married when the kids have left?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you should talk about this with your husband. I did, and he agreed to open up our marriage.

I always considered myself straight until I fell in love with a woman when I was 36 and had two children. When I met her, I had a feeling that I've been asleep my whole life and just woke up. She turned my world around, both sexually and emotionally. My husband and I are still a great team, we are good friends and our kids are always a priority. I lnow that this is not an ideal situation but at least we are honest with each other and don't lie or sneak around.

NP here who is going through something a lot like this. Are you still intimate with DH? If not, how is he dealing?

[Anonymous]

NP here. I sometimes wonder if my DW is a lesbian. I will leave aside the snark of saying "that's hot" because although I find the idea of threesomes hot, that isn't what reality is about. FWIW, to those wondering how your husbands would react, there would be a part of me to be relieved. I would be ok with her dipping her toe in the water to see if that is who she really was. In theory, I would be ok with keeping the marriage for the sake of the kids - we parent really well, co-finance well, really enjoy each other's company. This all assumes I would be allowed to have sex with other women too, i.e. marriage is open for both of us.

[Anonymous]

I'm not the OP, I'm a PP and I am bumping this thread in hopes of receiving answers to some previously asked questions, since I am going through something similar.

Also, any support group recommendations? I see a lot out there for LGBT teens, but not many for older women in my situation. I'm in NoVa.