New guy is great minus his looks, what do I do?

[Anonymous]

Im dating a guy that's perfect husband material, but I don't find him as attractive as my previous boyfriends. I know it's shallow, but I don't click with guys romantically that often and I've decided to give him a chance. My ex bf was extremely attractive and well dressed engineer. But the new guy looks pretty nerdy and doesn't dress well at all(jeans and tshirts). I know that looks aren't everything, but I feel like I am settling. Deep down inside I know that I should break up since I'm not really feeling things with him, but on the other hand, I am afraid that I won't find anyone else

[Anonymous]

Can you change how he dresses? Cuts his hair? DH doesn't care about those things at all and loves it when he doesn't have to shop or choose clothes.

[Anonymous]

He's going bald, so that'll solve the hair issue. I think he just needs a more mature look(he's 30 and an attorney). I'm used to guys that are more polished. Think of preppy or an Express male model.

[Anonymous]

I felt this way about my husband when we started dating. But after a couple of months I was very attracted to him. After four years of marriage, I think he's extremely handsome. People can grow on you.

[Anonymous]

You're settling-and are shallow.

[Anonymous]

You can be attracted to a man who is not super good looking and polished. Are you attracted to this man? Hair and clothes can be changed. My DH shaves his head now and looks much better than he did when we met and he was balding. Most everything he wears I bought for him and with him and he looks good and feels good and tells me so. Personality can't be changed and that's what I fell in love with anyway and it's much much better than the two very attractive men I dated who deep down were horribly vain and it colored everything about them. His confidence actually got stronger and more attractive now that he knows he looks mature and professional and has a pretty wife next to him.

[Anonymous]

Can we see what your beautiful self looks like ?

[Anonymous]

Is it eye color? I had a perfectly wonderful not-super-attractive engineer who had blue eyes. But since i was a child i knew i would never spend my life with anyone with blue eyes. And we couldn't make it last. And lo, my DH of 15 yrs has deep soulful brown eyes.

[Anonymous]

Leave this man alone to find someone who will love and appreciate all of him and not come in thinking how they can change him to suit their tastes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im dating a guy that's perfect husband material, but I don't find him as attractive as my previous boyfriends. I know it's shallow, but I don't click with guys romantically that often and I've decided to give him a chance. My ex bf was extremely attractive and well dressed engineer. But the new guy looks pretty nerdy and doesn't dress well at all(jeans and tshirts). I know that looks aren't everything, but I feel like I am settling. Deep down inside I know that I should break up since I'm not really feeling things with him, but on the other hand, I am afraid that I won't find anyone else

LOL, why don't you provide us with his email address so we can show him how you really feel?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can we see what your beautiful self looks like ?

[Anonymous]

Why would you think you can't find anyone else? Have some faith in yourself. And leave him; you won't be happy with a guy you feel like you settled for.

[Anonymous]

How much money does he make?

This is for marriage, not for love, right?

You're just looking for a wallet.

Marry this guy and cheat and your problems will be solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it eye color? I had a perfectly wonderful not-super-attractive engineer who had blue eyes. But since i was a child i knew i would never spend my life with anyone with blue eyes. And we couldn't make it last. And lo, my DH of 15 yrs has deep soulful brown eyes.

i am utterly perplexed by this.

[Anonymous]

Just because he looks good on paper and checks off most of your requirements doesn't mean it is a good fit. You will either need to compromise or move on to someone else (who also may not have all your requirements). Personally I wouldn't be with someone I wasn't attracted to, regardless of how much money they made.