When your child is very different than you - looks, popularity etc

[Anonymous]

Raising a bunch of bums it’s ok I guess

[Anonymous]

Why are you competing with your child, OP? If your child is smarter, more attractive, more successful than you are, then you should applaud that and cheer him or her on.

[Anonymous]

Ill equipped wut

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only painful part is when the high schooler talks about people at school and how "cool" they are or how they won't sit with her or talk to her much and then I see these kids and they are absolute losers. Like people who would have been absolutely torn down in the vicious 90s of my times. Like if you were fat and had glasses it was an unfortunate time for you in the 90s. Now these kids are top dogs for some strange reasons.

I just stay quiet because I don't understand the politics and it's only a blip in life before college.

Brilliant post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Either way - how is it for you as a parent? Any way you fill ill-equipped? Or no big deal?

We are equal in looks, popularity, etc. we are VERY different in ambition and drive. I have it coming out of my ears since birth. I was the 2 year old who potty trained myself and against my parents advice went for the PhD and insisted on a spouse that had the same. My kid is very gifted and can do so much - but she’d rather sit around and whine. Yes, I fundamentally don’t get it. I’m so ill equipped to deal with it. She is also model gorgeous and lacks people skills so struggles socially. I struggled some socially too, but I was able to have a solid group of friends and a high school boyfriend. DD goes for the “kids who won’t reject her” - basically kids who want to use her, use drugs, or have other severe social problems.

OP - to answer your question- I am so ill equipped. I keep trying and failing ever day. I won’t give up, but I’m not winning any parenting awards.

Stop trying to make her just like you. Most students are not interested in obtaining a PhD so drop that, nobody cares. Stop calling your kid gifted. What does that even mean?

There are plenty of people walking around that are smarter than you but are chill, work at average jobs, have average lives and are happy. Not everyone wants to live like you accept that she might want her own life. And the reason she’s with socially awkward kids is because she’s one of them. Hopefully she has activities that keep her busy.

Her IQ is 152 and she’s in specialized school - that’s what I mean.

Yes tons of people smarter than me - my husband for starters but also many of my colleagues and my own daughter. I never said I was the smartest. I have a PhD and that was probably more driven by ambition, which is what I stated. My life is pretty average and I’m ok with that. I want my daughter to be happy and surrounded by friends who care about her and have a career she enjoys.

I think it’s you that needs to chill. I know you are trying to be mean to me by criticizing me, but you missed this part - I love who I am and my daughter - seriously I want the best for her. What happened to you to make you this way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you competing with your child, OP? If your child is smarter, more attractive, more successful than you are, then you should applaud that and cheer him or her on.

I haven’t seen any of this on this thread - are you in the right place? I see a couple people admit that it’s difficult and everyone else trying to rip them a new one for their honesty. I don’t see anyone here who’s jealous of their kid or doesn’t cheer them on. Do you have reading comprehension issues?

[Anonymous]

wow lets strive to get a PHD strivers!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a terrible childhood and I am giving my daughter an awesome childhood. It's very therapeutic.

I think the psychology term for it is "reparenting." You get to heal the wounds from your past by making it right the next time around.

So, my kid is better than me. It's a wonder to experience.

Same for me! My kid is incredibly smart, driven, athletic and pleasant. I wasn't like that due in part to a chaotic childhood, My parents did not have good upbringings but they did better for us, even if it still wasn't great. We improved upon that. There is nothing on earth that makes me happier than my son. I am so proud of both of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Either way - how is it for you as a parent? Any way you fill ill-equipped? Or no big deal?

We are equal in looks, popularity, etc. we are VERY different in ambition and drive. I have it coming out of my ears since birth. I was the 2 year old who potty trained myself and against my parents advice went for the PhD and insisted on a spouse that had the same. My kid is very gifted and can do so much - but she’d rather sit around and whine. Yes, I fundamentally don’t get it. I’m so ill equipped to deal with it. She is also model gorgeous and lacks people skills so struggles socially. I struggled some socially too, but I was able to have a solid group of friends and a high school boyfriend. DD goes for the “kids who won’t reject her” - basically kids who want to use her, use drugs, or have other severe social problems.

OP - to answer your question- I am so ill equipped. I keep trying and failing ever day. I won’t give up, but I’m not winning any parenting awards.

You are obnoxious. Why are you making the comparison at all. She is not you.

[Anonymous]

Equal in looks lolz

[Anonymous]

They are their own people. We are a tightly knit family though so our values are similar and we treat each other well so the differences don’t cause much friction. I try to learn from the kids and I also try to pass on what I’ve learned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Either way - how is it for you as a parent? Any way you fill ill-equipped? Or no big deal?

We are equal in looks, popularity, etc. we are VERY different in ambition and drive. I have it coming out of my ears since birth. I was the 2 year old who potty trained myself and against my parents advice went for the PhD and insisted on a spouse that had the same. My kid is very gifted and can do so much - but she’d rather sit around and whine. Yes, I fundamentally don’t get it. I’m so ill equipped to deal with it. She is also model gorgeous and lacks people skills so struggles socially. I struggled some socially too, but I was able to have a solid group of friends and a high school boyfriend. DD goes for the “kids who won’t reject her” - basically kids who want to use her, use drugs, or have other severe social problems.

OP - to answer your question- I am so ill equipped. I keep trying and failing ever day. I won’t give up, but I’m not winning any parenting awards.

WOW. Just say you don't like your kid.

Right? I kept thinking DD intentionally doesn't WANT to be like her mom. And Mom is utterly clueless that she probably causes a % of the behavior.

Get a therapist, PP.

[Anonymous]

PhD needs a Xanax and a shrink

[Anonymous]

I have two stunning pre teen daughters and I was never super attractive, leaning towards gawky, super shy and too self conscious to be boy- crazy. That had its own stresses of course but I am in NO WAY prepared to handle what i am starting to see on the horizon in terms of attention from boys (and men) and I am
Pretty scared about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Either way - how is it for you as a parent? Any way you fill ill-equipped? Or no big deal?

We are equal in looks, popularity, etc. we are VERY different in ambition and drive. I have it coming out of my ears since birth. I was the 2 year old who potty trained myself and against my parents advice went for the PhD and insisted on a spouse that had the same. My kid is very gifted and can do so much - but she’d rather sit around and whine. Yes, I fundamentally don’t get it. I’m so ill equipped to deal with it. She is also model gorgeous and lacks people skills so struggles socially. I struggled some socially too, but I was able to have a solid group of friends and a high school boyfriend. DD goes for the “kids who won’t reject her” - basically kids who want to use her, use drugs, or have other severe social problems.

OP - to answer your question- I am so ill equipped. I keep trying and failing ever day. I won’t give up, but I’m not winning any parenting awards.

You are obnoxious. Why are you making the comparison at all. She is not you.

That was literally OP’s question and opening thread.