New Employer Requiring Me To Disclose Nature of My DD's Dr. Visit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I changed jobs for the first time in almost a decade so I admit I'm rusty on the norms, but this is .... odd, right?

My DD is having severe cramps during her menstrual cycle and my wife was to take her next week but the pediatrician called with an opening tomorrow. My wife cant do it so I'm filling in.

My manager wants to know 'why' my DD is going to the Dr and is requiring that I tell him AND get a note.

First of all if an employee at my last few jobs is taking a kid to a doctor during work hours and using sick time it is normally an emergency, with a specialist that is not available off hours or spouse is unavailable.

Otherwife I have people taking sick days to take kids to Dentist, Flu Shots, Orthdonist during work hours. It is a gray area and 90 percen of folks folks are honest.

In this case it would be my daughter is sick, My wife is unavailable to do it so I have to as she is young and does not drive and needs a parent present as a minor.

At my prior jobs we had all types of scammers. My favorite of all time this guy at my company after both his wife and him took off every time kids was sick but they had a nanny and would netflix and chill.

J1 J2 please join us in the 21st century where women are a normal part of the workforce and father taking his child to a medical appointment is a routine occurrence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the J1 J2 thing?

Guy on here that was always talking about juggling two or three remote jobs at a time. He writes in a very distinct style and seems to be an older, likely white guy, based on the content of his posts.

[Anonymous]

Just say stomach issues and get the note. Your boss is a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please clarify: The OP wants to use his sick time for his child's doctor's appointment? Wouldn't vacation/personal time be more appropriate?

No, legally you are able to use your sick time for immediate family members.

This is not really true. In some states you can use a limited number of days for this. The employer is sort of messing up but there’s some basi do what they are saying. Here’s the issues:
1) does your policy allow you to fake sick leave for children’s illness? If so, follow the rules in that policy.
2) do you work in a state like DC that allows you to take a certain number of days for family sick leave? If so, provide enough info that they know it is covered by the law (which is DC is the ASSLA.)
3) is the illness FMLA covered (maybe). If so, the employer is entitled to track is against your 12 week entitlement (16 in DC). Taking one day is not worth tracking for most employers but if their HR delarent is very rigid, I can see them just asking as a matter of course. You can say it a not a serious health condition in which case it won’t be FMLA protected. If you want the FMLA protection you need to give sufficient medical facts to establish it’s a serious health condition (you can look that definition up easily online).

Again, #2 and #3 don't apply here -- OP is using paid sick leave granted by his job and the boss is not questioning it being used for a family member so that's clearly within the policy. If his policy didn't cover appointments for family members, the boss would just say "sorry our policy doesn't cover that, you need to use personal leave for that."

But the sort of leave being used doesn't change the fact that it is a violation of privacy laws to request detailed information about OP's or their child's medical care. They can ask for documentation from a doctor just to verify that the sick leave is being used for a proper medical purpose. They cannot ask what the diagnosis is or anything related to that (how long it's been going on, how sick they are, etc.).

There are multiple reasons for the privacy limitation. One is that if an employer asks about details of your medical diagnosis, it creates a risk of discrimination. For instance if my boss demands to know why I have had several doctor's appointments in recent months and I reveal it's because I am pregnant or trying to get pregnant, this creates a risk of discrimination against me for family or pregnancy status, which is illegal. Thus employers are not supposed to ask. The same concerns extend to medical conditions of family members, since asking about your spouse's medical diagnosis or that of your kid could be viewed as discriminating against someone for family status. This is also why employers are never supposed to ask if you are pregnant or trying to get pregnant, or even whether you have kids (they are supposed to wait for you to disclose this info).

#2 could absolutely apply. Under DC law, you begin accruing sick leave after 90 days of employment. In other cities and states, you begin accruing time immediately. That leave can be used for a child's doctor's appointments and taken in hourly increments.

[Anonymous]

The US of A is awful for working parents. Just get the Dr's note. You don't need to list a reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I changed jobs for the first time in almost a decade so I admit I'm rusty on the norms, but this is .... odd, right?

My DD is having severe cramps during her menstrual cycle and my wife was to take her next week but the pediatrician called with an opening tomorrow. My wife cant do it so I'm filling in.

My manager wants to know 'why' my DD is going to the Dr and is requiring that I tell him AND get a note.

First of all if an employee at my last few jobs is taking a kid to a doctor during work hours and using sick time it is normally an emergency, with a specialist that is not available off hours or spouse is unavailable.

Otherwife I have people taking sick days to take kids to Dentist, Flu Shots, Orthdonist during work hours. It is a gray area and 90 percen of folks folks are honest.

In this case it would be my daughter is sick, My wife is unavailable to do it so I have to as she is young and does not drive and needs a parent present as a minor.

At my prior jobs we had all types of scammers. My favorite of all time this guy at my company after both his wife and him took off every time kids was sick but they had a nanny and would netflix and chill.

This is literally one reason why sick time exists.

+1 Not to mention most dental and orthodontist offices (along with many non-emergency providers such as dermatologists, Gyn, etc.) operate during normal workweek hours. How am I going to get my teeth cleaned sometime between 8 am - 4 pm if I can’t take leave for the appointment? And to the extent there are after hours appointments, such as at the pediatrician’s office, those are in high demand with extra after hours fees. Should the entirety of the 9-5 workforce scramble for these limited spots?

And how do you know what your employees do on a sick day? Not to mention his childcare arrangement that he pays for is not your business. Perhaps they want the nanny there if they are having to pay her guaranteed hours anyway, but want a parent home in case things take a turn for the worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I changed jobs for the first time in almost a decade so I admit I'm rusty on the norms, but this is .... odd, right?

My DD is having severe cramps during her menstrual cycle and my wife was to take her next week but the pediatrician called with an opening tomorrow. My wife cant do it so I'm filling in.

My manager wants to know 'why' my DD is going to the Dr and is requiring that I tell him AND get a note.

Obtain a copy of the employee handbook and see when you are required to provide a note. It’s usually to return to work after 2 consecutive days of sick leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just get the note and present it. My son had to do this at a job. The doctor will just confirm that they had an appointment at a certain date and time and won't say what it was for. You give it to your boss without further comment. "Here's the note confirming that I took my daughter to the doctor." If he asks what it was for, you say, a medical issue.

If you are new, they are establishing that you are not abusing the practice. At ine job I had we did require notes. It was not illegal to do this.

Find out the policy at your company.

You should not have to present a note for one appointment. The type of doctor signing the note can reveal health information the manager does not need to know.

I’ve literally redacted doctor’s notes but Op you can take your child to their pcp as well to get a cover note.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please clarify: The OP wants to use his sick time for his child's doctor's appointment? Wouldn't vacation/personal time be more appropriate?

No. Someone is sick under his care as a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I changed jobs for the first time in almost a decade so I admit I'm rusty on the norms, but this is .... odd, right?

My DD is having severe cramps during her menstrual cycle and my wife was to take her next week but the pediatrician called with an opening tomorrow. My wife cant do it so I'm filling in.

My manager wants to know 'why' my DD is going to the Dr and is requiring that I tell him AND get a note.

First of all if an employee at my last few jobs is taking a kid to a doctor during work hours and using sick time it is normally an emergency, with a specialist that is not available off hours or spouse is unavailable.

Otherwife I have people taking sick days to take kids to Dentist, Flu Shots, Orthdonist during work hours. It is a gray area and 90 percen of folks folks are honest.

In this case it would be my daughter is sick, My wife is unavailable to do it so I have to as she is young and does not drive and needs a parent present as a minor.

At my prior jobs we had all types of scammers. My favorite of all time this guy at my company after both his wife and him took off every time kids was sick but they had a nanny and would netflix and chill.

That is not the norm at all and your workplace is broken. Every place I have worked allows sick leave for annual appointments and taking children to annual appointments.

+1 if a workplace has typical 40-hour work week hours, which are also generally when doctors, dentists, and physical therapists operate, it is assumed you will use sick leave for regular appointments. You don't have some obligation to schedule your kid's doctor's appointments for the sliver of Saturday morning the pediatrician is open just because you work Mon-Fri, that's stupid.

This is the whole point of sick leave.

That’s why you have a wife.

[Anonymous]

All this discussion is moot until we hear from OP and HIS work policy. Every workplace in this country doesn’t allow an employee to take sick leave by the hour to accompany their child to the dentist, doctor etc. Do you know anyone who works in healthcare? They do not have the ability to leave for a few hours during the day. In that case, the employee would schedule a vacation day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All this discussion is moot until we hear from OP and HIS work policy. Every workplace in this country doesn’t allow an employee to take sick leave by the hour to accompany their child to the dentist, doctor etc. Do you know anyone who works in healthcare? They do not have the ability to leave for a few hours during the day. In that case, the employee would schedule a vacation day.

My DH is a nephrologist. He takes off whenever he wants and doesn't even work in July.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I would just screenshot the appointment confirmation and send it. They do not need to know the reasons beyond that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All this discussion is moot until we hear from OP and HIS work policy. Every workplace in this country doesn’t allow an employee to take sick leave by the hour to accompany their child to the dentist, doctor etc. Do you know anyone who works in healthcare? They do not have the ability to leave for a few hours during the day. In that case, the employee would schedule a vacation day.

Where do people work? At my firm, nobody gives a shit if you take an hour to do something...they just care that whatever shit you have to get done, gets done by whatever timetable you have. On the flip side, if you have an important zoom/call at the same time as your DD's doctor appointment, you figure out a way to do it even if it's from the doctor's waiting room (or you step outside...unless this is life-or-death, you don't have to be in the room).

I get that many MC and LMC people work hourly jobs, where you clock-in and clock-out and you can't just take off for an hour. I guess if you work as a Nurse or a radiological technician, you don't have tons of flexibility. Ironically, this post is about taking DD to the doctor...I would assume if a spouse is a doctor, then they could figure out how to manage this fairly easily.

[Anonymous]

I’d 100% describe in the goriest details possible all of the issues my daughter has been dealing with regarding her period. I’d spend as long as I could giving the backstory, how old she was when she first got her period, how often she gets them, how long they last, then add in the grossest details I could think of. I’d then ask if he needed any additional information.