New Employer Requiring Me To Disclose Nature of My DD's Dr. Visit.

[Anonymous]

Your manager is out of line. He has no justification for knowing why your family member is going to the doc or even which kind of doc or anything about her medical condition or history.

Possibly illegal. And extremely inappropriate.

Get his ask in writing if possible so you can show what he asked.

Find out what your company’s FMLA policy is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Requiring a note to use what I assume is 2-3 hours max of sick time is insane. So are they saying anytime you need to go to the doctor or dentist you are going to need a note?

Completely insane. I've had places that COULD required a doctor's note for more than like 3 days of leave (with discretion, it was rare).

3 hours?

[Anonymous]

Just get the note and present it. My son had to do this at a job. The doctor will just confirm that they had an appointment at a certain date and time and won't say what it was for. You give it to your boss without further comment. "Here's the note confirming that I took my daughter to the doctor." If he asks what it was for, you say, a medical issue.

If you are new, they are establishing that you are not abusing the practice. At ine job I had we did require notes. It was not illegal to do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just get the note and present it. My son had to do this at a job. The doctor will just confirm that they had an appointment at a certain date and time and won't say what it was for. You give it to your boss without further comment. "Here's the note confirming that I took my daughter to the doctor." If he asks what it was for, you say, a medical issue.

If you are new, they are establishing that you are not abusing the practice. At ine job I had we did require notes. It was not illegal to do this.

Find out the policy at your company.

You should not have to present a note for one appointment. The type of doctor signing the note can reveal health information the manager does not need to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just get the note and present it. My son had to do this at a job. The doctor will just confirm that they had an appointment at a certain date and time and won't say what it was for. You give it to your boss without further comment. "Here's the note confirming that I took my daughter to the doctor." If he asks what it was for, you say, a medical issue.

If you are new, they are establishing that you are not abusing the practice. At ine job I had we did require notes. It was not illegal to do this.

Find out the policy at your company.

You should not have to present a note for one appointment. The type of doctor signing the note can reveal health information the manager does not need to know.

Exactly. I had my first appointment with my oncologist at least 2 months before I told anyone at work what was going on. This is a huge violation of privacy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have someone in HR you can reach out to? He cannot ask for medical diagnoses. I am not sure if he can ask for an "attendance" slip, e.g., "Larla was present for an appointment today."

HR is not your friend. The quickest way to derail a career is to have anything to do with HR. They work for the bad guys, not the employees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I changed jobs for the first time in almost a decade so I admit I'm rusty on the norms, but this is .... odd, right?

My DD is having severe cramps during her menstrual cycle and my wife was to take her next week but the pediatrician called with an opening tomorrow. My wife cant do it so I'm filling in.

My manager wants to know 'why' my DD is going to the Dr and is requiring that I tell him AND get a note.

First of all if an employee at my last few jobs is taking a kid to a doctor during work hours and using sick time it is normally an emergency, with a specialist that is not available off hours or spouse is unavailable.

Otherwife I have people taking sick days to take kids to Dentist, Flu Shots, Orthdonist during work hours. It is a gray area and 90 percen of folks folks are honest.

In this case it would be my daughter is sick, My wife is unavailable to do it so I have to as she is young and does not drive and needs a parent present as a minor.

At my prior jobs we had all types of scammers. My favorite of all time this guy at my company after both his wife and him took off every time kids was sick but they had a nanny and would netflix and chill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I changed jobs for the first time in almost a decade so I admit I'm rusty on the norms, but this is .... odd, right?

My DD is having severe cramps during her menstrual cycle and my wife was to take her next week but the pediatrician called with an opening tomorrow. My wife cant do it so I'm filling in.

My manager wants to know 'why' my DD is going to the Dr and is requiring that I tell him AND get a note.

First of all if an employee at my last few jobs is taking a kid to a doctor during work hours and using sick time it is normally an emergency, with a specialist that is not available off hours or spouse is unavailable.

Otherwife I have people taking sick days to take kids to Dentist, Flu Shots, Orthdonist during work hours. It is a gray area and 90 percen of folks folks are honest.

In this case it would be my daughter is sick, My wife is unavailable to do it so I have to as she is young and does not drive and needs a parent present as a minor.

At my prior jobs we had all types of scammers. My favorite of all time this guy at my company after both his wife and him took off every time kids was sick but they had a nanny and would netflix and chill.

That is not the norm at all and your workplace is broken. Every place I have worked allows sick leave for annual appointments and taking children to annual appointments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have someone in HR you can reach out to? He cannot ask for medical diagnoses. I am not sure if he can ask for an "attendance" slip, e.g., "Larla was present for an appointment today."

HR is not for you, it's for your company.

this 1000%

[Anonymous]

Wait a while and then send an anonymous note to HR so they are aware of the problem.

[Anonymous]

Please clarify: The OP wants to use his sick time for his child's doctor's appointment? Wouldn't vacation/personal time be more appropriate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please clarify: The OP wants to use his sick time for his child's doctor's appointment? Wouldn't vacation/personal time be more appropriate?

Every place I've ever worked allows you to use sick leave for taking kids to the doctor or to care for a kid who is home sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please clarify: The OP wants to use his sick time for his child's doctor's appointment? Wouldn't vacation/personal time be more appropriate?

Every place I've ever worked allows you to use sick leave for taking kids to the doctor or to care for a kid who is home sick.

I'm a fed and I normally flex this stuff but OPM explicitly allows it.

https://www.opm.gov/policy-data-oversight/pay-leave/leave-administration/fact-sheets/sick-leave-for-family-care-or-bereavement-purposes/

[Anonymous]

Do you have regular leave yet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I changed jobs for the first time in almost a decade so I admit I'm rusty on the norms, but this is .... odd, right?

My DD is having severe cramps during her menstrual cycle and my wife was to take her next week but the pediatrician called with an opening tomorrow. My wife cant do it so I'm filling in.

My manager wants to know 'why' my DD is going to the Dr and is requiring that I tell him AND get a note.

First of all if an employee at my last few jobs is taking a kid to a doctor during work hours and using sick time it is normally an emergency, with a specialist that is not available off hours or spouse is unavailable.

Otherwife I have people taking sick days to take kids to Dentist, Flu Shots, Orthdonist during work hours. It is a gray area and 90 percen of folks folks are honest.

In this case it would be my daughter is sick, My wife is unavailable to do it so I have to as she is young and does not drive and needs a parent present as a minor.

At my prior jobs we had all types of scammers. My favorite of all time this guy at my company after both his wife and him took off every time kids was sick but they had a nanny and would netflix and chill.

Sick leave is for parents to take kids to the doctor and care for them when sick. How else would you expect them to do it?