Advice wanted: School laptop and grooming on discord

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can the school not see what's being done on the school device? Her sending nudes would be like me sending nudes on my work computer - the IT guy can see it.

I would at least nip that in the bud.

Can they see everything in the discord chat? I assume the images were being sent on her phone and not the school device (before we took away the phone) but I don’t know.

Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you need to get it together.

Your child is sending nudes to someone you're not even sure is a fellow child and you're just like "Well, I think they were sent on her phone but they were also sent over discord on her school tablet."

Figure it out. Come up with a plan.

I don’t get this. I didn’t say they were sent on a school device. I said she is using her school device to access discord. The nudes freak me out but that’s not all that disturbs me. I want to get rid of her access to discord entirely.

And yes I’d love to come up with a plan for that.

Hmmm....in my house, if I had done something so shameful, my family would have beaten the tar out of me. The fear of my parents knowing my wrongdoings was worse than being caught by the police.

All of our siblings and cousins have walked on the straight and narrow all our lives and lived a successful and fulfilled life. My parents, uncles and aunties - did not hesitate to punish us if we were doing something wrong. But first, the family would sit down and question us.

Hmm how to tell you?

The danger now is that OP's DD will run away to meet her contact on Discord

That's how a lot of child sex trafficking starts.

With all this beating, is OP supposed to lock it her DD permanently?

And probably not like you, her DD seems capable of outsmarting her parent. Beating her will probably speed this up. If she leaves, should OP wash her hands of her? Thats what your parents would have done, right?

Well OP will have to figure out if she wants to recreate your upbringing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can the school not see what's being done on the school device? Her sending nudes would be like me sending nudes on my work computer - the IT guy can see it.

I would at least nip that in the bud.

Can they see everything in the discord chat? I assume the images were being sent on her phone and not the school device (before we took away the phone) but I don’t know.

Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you need to get it together.

Your child is sending nudes to someone you're not even sure is a fellow child and you're just like "Well, I think they were sent on her phone but they were also sent over discord on her school tablet."

Figure it out. Come up with a plan.

I don’t get this. I didn’t say they were sent on a school device. I said she is using her school device to access discord. The nudes freak me out but that’s not all that disturbs me. I want to get rid of her access to discord entirely.

And yes I’d love to come up with a plan for that.

Hmmm....in my house, if I had done something so shameful, my family would have beaten the tar out of me. The fear of my parents knowing my wrongdoings was worse than being caught by the police.

All of our siblings and cousins have walked on the straight and narrow all our lives and lived a successful and fulfilled life. My parents, uncles and aunties - did not hesitate to punish us if we were doing something wrong. But first, the family would sit down and question us.

So true. We would have been beaten with pots pans, belts, after this.

I mean, that causes its own issues.

OP and her DH are fairly lax if their teenager is sending explicit photos and videos to discord anime bros. I'm not sure that an overcorrection that involves "beating [her] with pots, pans, belts after this" is the correct reaction.

She needs therapy for low self-esteem.

[Anonymous]

i love how youre blaming the IT of the school and not your daughter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter, age 14, is chatting a lot and sending explicit photos and videos via discord. The other person is supposedly a 14-year old too but I don’t think I can assume it’s not an adult. I found out because she left her laptop open and I saw the chat. My daughter is very tech savvy and found every way around restrictions. We have taken away her phone but we can’t take away discord. I asked teachers (without mentioning the discord thing) about doing assignments by hand but every little thing requires a one to one device. Oh and grades have gone down the drain since this chatting started. The school laptop is not being used for schoolwork much, apparently.

We’ve talked to our daughter about the dangers of this, etc but she keeps doing it. I can monitor her screen for maybe two hours a night but not six.

I am just at a loss. I am just so upset and sad that discord is such a danger to my daughter and I can’t keep her away from it. Does online sexu@l exploitation of a minor have to be a part of my child’s education?

Anyway, advice?

So she doesn't get to use the laptop at home. Obviously.

[Anonymous]

Why are you blaming the school for something that is not their fault. You need to walk with your daughter into the IT office and say "my daughter can get around your restrictions, you need more restrictions. Fix this."

[Anonymous]

You sound like a wuss.

[Anonymous]

Thr school should.be.partnering to help mom. Email the administration at the school and their supervisors

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Uh, have you called the police on the predator who is talking to your daughter?

THIS!!!! OP, I would have collected evidence the minute I saw it and contacted authorities to put a stop to this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uh, have you called the police on the predator who is talking to your daughter?

THIS!!!! OP, I would have collected evidence the minute I saw it and contacted authorities to put a stop to this.

Problem is it could be another kid too, no real proof its a pred.

[Anonymous]

Your daughter needs to understand d that sending explicit photos of herself could implicate her or the person receiving them in a crime, potential felony.
DIscord or not, you, and possibly a therapist, need to get to the root of this issue of sending nude photos. It’s not just for fun, especially if she has been warned. Also, anything done on the school computer could likely been seen by any IT person at the school. Has your daughter been abused? Or can’t someone track the IP address of where these photos are going?
Does she not understand these photos will live online forever. She shouldn’t send anything g that she isn’t comfortable showing you or her dad! You should print the photos out and tell her you are going to put them on the fridge and see her reaction.

[Anonymous]

PP here. It’s also possible that the recepient is not and older man but a group of 10 year boys. Which could mean your daughter is sending p—n to young kids

[Anonymous]

You need to turn the laptop into school, hire a lawyer, and keep her home until you have a plan. This is beyond grave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take the device away immediately and send a letter to the school stating that you no longer consent to their device agreement.

Exactly this.

It is a pain in the a$$ but in fcps you can also go through their list of thousands of programs your kid has access to (many with chat functions accessible to any adult pervert who knows there are kids on them) and individually opt out or in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to turn the laptop into school, hire a lawyer, and keep her home until you have a plan. This is beyond grave.

I agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here. It’s also possible that the recepient is not and older man but a group of 10 year boys. Which could mean your daughter is sending p—n to young kids

Any person asking a minor to send explicit photos onlune is 99.9% some pervert adult predator and not other kids.