Advice wanted: School laptop and grooming on discord

[Anonymous]

My daughter, age 14, is chatting a lot and sending explicit photos and videos via discord. The other person is supposedly a 14-year old too but I don’t think I can assume it’s not an adult. I found out because she left her laptop open and I saw the chat. My daughter is very tech savvy and found every way around restrictions. We have taken away her phone but we can’t take away discord. I asked teachers (without mentioning the discord thing) about doing assignments by hand but every little thing requires a one to one device. Oh and grades have gone down the drain since this chatting started. The school laptop is not being used for schoolwork much, apparently.

We’ve talked to our daughter about the dangers of this, etc but she keeps doing it. I can monitor her screen for maybe two hours a night but not six.

I am just at a loss. I am just so upset and sad that discord is such a danger to my daughter and I can’t keep her away from it. Does online sexu@l exploitation of a minor have to be a part of my child’s education?

Anyway, advice?

[Anonymous]

Can the school not see what's being done on the school device? Her sending nudes would be like me sending nudes on my work computer - the IT guy can see it.

I would at least nip that in the bud.

[Anonymous]

Take the device away immediately and send a letter to the school stating that you no longer consent to their device agreement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can the school not see what's being done on the school device? Her sending nudes would be like me sending nudes on my work computer - the IT guy can see it.

I would at least nip that in the bud.

+1

This is a HUGE liability for the school. I would emphasize that and ask for a laptop with more advanced security features rather than the same security they give the elementary kids.

They can do more.

[Anonymous]

you need to mention "the discord thing" to the school, they can't act if they don't know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you need to mention "the discord thing" to the school, they can't act if they don't know.

I honestly am not sure I trust them. I asked them to block discord (I did mention they have been on discord but I didn’t mention the nudes) and they said they would but some extra steps must be taken. That was a couple of weeks ago. I am not bothered about it because website restrictions are a joke but they just don’t act, at least not the people I’ve spoken to. And I don’t feel like they really care about my daughter and I think frankly they’re gossipy based on my experiences at school. I suppose I could find someone more trustworthy or at someone who doesn’t work in the school so it wouldn’t get back to her peers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take the device away immediately and send a letter to the school stating that you no longer consent to their device agreement.

Huh. Maybe I’ll do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can the school not see what's being done on the school device? Her sending nudes would be like me sending nudes on my work computer - the IT guy can see it.

I would at least nip that in the bud.

+1

This is a HUGE liability for the school. I would emphasize that and ask for a laptop with more advanced security features rather than the same security they give the elementary kids.

They can do more.

In what way is it a liability for the school? I think it should be but I don’t know how it actually is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you need to mention "the discord thing" to the school, they can't act if they don't know.

I honestly am not sure I trust them. I asked them to block discord (I did mention they have been on discord but I didn’t mention the nudes) and they said they would but some extra steps must be taken. That was a couple of weeks ago. I am not bothered about it because website restrictions are a joke but they just don’t act, at least not the people I’ve spoken to. And I don’t feel like they really care about my daughter and I think frankly they’re gossipy based on my experiences at school. I suppose I could find someone more trustworthy or at someone who doesn’t work in the school so it wouldn’t get back to her peers.

When they "discover" the nudes of a minor on their servers, dome nice police officers will be knocking on your door and wanting to talk to you daughter

You don't know where theses nudes will end up. There are cyber crime units who can track down you kids computer and then you win be able to control the story. It could even end up in the news.

Why wait? And let your kid's nudes travel over the world

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can the school not see what's being done on the school device? Her sending nudes would be like me sending nudes on my work computer - the IT guy can see it.

I would at least nip that in the bud.

Can they see everything in the discord chat? I assume the images were being sent on her phone and not the school device (before we took away the phone) but I don’t know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can the school not see what's being done on the school device? Her sending nudes would be like me sending nudes on my work computer - the IT guy can see it.

I would at least nip that in the bud.

+1

This is a HUGE liability for the school. I would emphasize that and ask for a laptop with more advanced security features rather than the same security they give the elementary kids.

They can do more.

In what way is it a liability for the school? I think it should be but I don’t know how it actually is.

Servers store data.

Nothing on the internet is private and child pornography is a crime

[Anonymous]

If you tell the school explicitly you or your daughter will be in big trouble. Why not punish her for this, parent! My teen is still a little girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter, age 14, is chatting a lot and sending explicit photos and videos via discord. The other person is supposedly a 14-year old too but I don’t think I can assume it’s not an adult. I found out because she left her laptop open and I saw the chat. My daughter is very tech savvy and found every way around restrictions. We have taken away her phone but we can’t take away discord. I asked teachers (without mentioning the discord thing) about doing assignments by hand but every little thing requires a one to one device. Oh and grades have gone down the drain since this chatting started. The school laptop is not being used for schoolwork much, apparently.

We’ve talked to our daughter about the dangers of this, etc but she keeps doing it. I can monitor her screen for maybe two hours a night but not six.

I am just at a loss. I am just so upset and sad that discord is such a danger to my daughter and I can’t keep her away from it. Does online sexu@l exploitation of a minor have to be a part of my child’s education?

Anyway, advice?

Seems odd to me that this sounds more focused on getting the IT people to solve your problem rather than dealing with your daughter. Aren't there any other punishments you can enforce? Why don't you want to deal more directly with her, or does it just sound that way here?

[Anonymous]

If you don't trust your school, maybe talk to someone who is at a district level for more privacy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you need to mention "the discord thing" to the school, they can't act if they don't know.

I honestly am not sure I trust them. I asked them to block discord (I did mention they have been on discord but I didn’t mention the nudes) and they said they would but some extra steps must be taken. That was a couple of weeks ago. I am not bothered about it because website restrictions are a joke but they just don’t act, at least not the people I’ve spoken to. And I don’t feel like they really care about my daughter and I think frankly they’re gossipy based on my experiences at school. I suppose I could find someone more trustworthy or at someone who doesn’t work in the school so it wouldn’t get back to her peers.

Yes, find someone more trustworthy...