My sister wants a homebirth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our babies were born at birthing centers, no doctors and were just fine and are now young adults.l Is your sister in a rural area in the middle of nowhere? If not, it's likely an ambulance can get your sister and/or the baby to the hospital in a matter of minutes so don't worry so much.

It's her body, her baby, her choice: let her do what she wants

Do you realize how long minutes are when it comes to saving a newborn and a mom? Seconds could make the difference in a child having permanent brain damage.

And most ambulances are not equipped to provide care to a neonate in an emergency situation.

Homebirth can be great but it requires research and education and planning not some flippant hospitals are bad everything will be fine attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Millions of babies were/are born this way it’s fine.

True. And millions died. Encourage her to at least work with a legitimate midwife - they will get her and the baby to a hospital if needed. What does the babies other baby think about this?

Rikki Lake and The Business of Being Born was the worst thing for women and babies in this country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Millions of babies were/are born this way it’s fine.

Billions really over the course of 100,000+ years of human species. Many born into the dirt and wrapped in dirty animal skins.

“Died in childbirth” was also a pretty common heading on gravestones until recently.

[Anonymous]

The replies on here are disgusting. You are right to be worried about your sister. You should warn her again and show her the data on the risks. I know a high risk obgyn who I’d an immigrant and he told me he was amazed when he started practicing in the US and realized that at home births is a thing. I told him it’s because a lot of women are influenced by fools on social media who hate on hospitals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good for her.

Not your business.

Not good for her
Mortality in childbearing is horrifying without a hospital
Then again one less maga anti vaxer works well sorry OP

So you think everyone giving birth at home is maga and anti vax? Are all democrats as dumb as you?

My sister is anti-vax

My crunchy friend who had an MBA and dropped out of a top law school wanted to have a home birth with midwife in scenic rural VA. She labored a long time at home but baby wouldn't come out. So she had to go to the hospital. She and her husband didn't have health insurance bc they were crunchy and helping his mom start up a b&b.

In the end, her baby was paid for by taxpayers/Medicaid due to her insistence on not planning ahead and accepting the modern world. I lost some respect for her.

Luckily baby was fine. He's grown now. I never asked about little sister's birth but she grew up fine also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Millions of babies were/are born this way it’s fine.

Omg shut up t idiot women die this way!!! Childbirth is dangerous!

It's actually not but everyone has been conditioned by the medical establishment to believe that if you don't have the maximum level of intervention, you and your child will die. A homebirth with a backup plan is not uncommon. She should be seeking the services of a certified nurse midwife who will have a physician and hospital backup in case of emergency. Thinking that if you birth at home, it's impossible to go to the hospital is generally not a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The replies on here are disgusting. You are right to be worried about your sister. You should warn her again and show her the data on the risks. I know a high risk obgyn who I’d an immigrant and he told me he was amazed when he started practicing in the US and realized that at home births is a thing. I told him it’s because a lot of women are influenced by fools on social media who hate on hospitals.

+1. This is actually the opposite of what you usually see on DCUM re: home birth. I guess MAHA crazies are taking over.

Anyway, there is not much you can do except let her know your concerns. Many home births go well, but you don’t want to be the one that has an emergency.

[Anonymous]

It’s fine OP, hospitals are too unpredictable lately and too pushy. I’d be much more comfortable at home as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Millions of babies were/are born this way it’s fine.

Omg shut up t idiot women die this way!!! Childbirth is dangerous!

It's actually not but everyone has been conditioned by the medical establishment to believe that if you don't have the maximum level of intervention, you and your child will die. A homebirth with a backup plan is not uncommon. She should be seeking the services of a certified nurse midwife who will have a physician and hospital backup in case of emergency. Thinking that if you birth at home, it's impossible to go to the hospital is generally not a thing.

Childbirth is indeed dangerous. You can do different things with that info but you can’t deny the risks involved in childbirth.

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP your sister is a total idiot, and not just because she chose a birth center but because when a problem clearly developed water broke and two days later no labor) she wanted to refuse medical help. Thank God the birthing center called the ambulance, this is the type or idiot who loses the baby due to her stupidity and then sue the birthing center.

And now she wants to have a birth at home because so she will not be sent to the hospital if there is an emergency. Obviously there is nothing you can do, this is her and her husband’a choice. Plus i bet her kids will be at risk of dying for a long time, measles and all other nice illnesses that used to kill so kany babies (people had ton or babies but only some would survive childhood) so this js not going to stop with the birth. You just need to mentally disengage, especially considering your trauma. Pull away a little from the sister, so not discuss anything about the birth, wiht her, your mom or anybody else and stay away around childbirth time. Tell your mom to tell you the good news when it arrives and that’s it. There is nothing you can do and just think that everything will go well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get being worried and concerned, but are you seriously unable to cope? That is not normal. Are you currently in therapy?

Yes, I am. My daughter died at 2 days old, so I very much worry.

Presumably in a hospital, right?

So you know that things can and do go wrong anywhere.

CBT and if you need it, medication. Separate yourself from this it’s not your business.

[Anonymous]

All these people saying it's not your business when the sister has already had complications in birth and we wonder why there is a lack of community and connection

[Anonymous]

OP I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter, and I am sure that makes your sister’s choices even harder to accept.

I needed c-sections. I wish I could have had and fully support responsible home births, but it sounds like your sister is not making good plans. Unfortunately, as you’ve already noted she’s not going to listen to you. Ultimately I think the only way that you can cope is to accept it, and to recognize that you aren’t responsible for what you can’t control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our babies were born at birthing centers, no doctors and were just fine and are now young adults.l Is your sister in a rural area in the middle of nowhere? If not, it's likely an ambulance can get your sister and/or the baby to the hospital in a matter of minutes so don't worry so much.

It's her body, her baby, her choice: let her do what she wants

Minutes without oxygen is a lifetime of intellectual disability.

[Anonymous]

OP your sister truly doesn't care about the outcome. She can't even feign ignorance after what happened. For some people their "experience" matters more than the baby.

It's horrible but you just have to detach.