What are we supposed to do about non-athletic child?

[Anonymous]

Why does he have to play sports? If you want him to have an extracurricular, there are so many things you could try: theater, scouts, rock climbing, music, robotics, etc.

If he wants to play, and you’re complaining about the coaches’ egregious behavior, then I have a ton of sympathy. I have a kid who isn’t super athletic but loves little league. The worst I’ve seen is maybe a parent cringing in the stands (most likely to be me). I’m really sorry the coaches are such jerks. I will never understand this mentality, particularly at the rec level, but honestly really ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dunno why people keep suggesting swimming. It's going to be pretty difficult to get a kid who is not interested or at least decent to stick with it. It's swimming laps, which is hard. It's multiple days a week. It's discouraging to be last.

Something like the winter swim for a summer leave might be less competitive but a lot of kids have been doing it since like five..

People have been suggesting swimming lessons, not a competitive swim team.

[Anonymous]

The coaches should not be allowed to act like that. I am sorry they are saying that to your son. Ours are usually the opposite, having to tell parents these are just kids in a rec league. If your son wants to play these sports and improve I would probably look for a clinic to learn and improve skills rather than a league so there’s no stress from these coaches. There is also nothing wrong if he doesn’t want to do any sports, there are plenty of other activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Karate didn't work out, but there are a TON of other non-team sports.

Bowlero has kid bowling leagues (my kids did this for a few years). rock climbing, fencing, golf, etc.

Also, WHy did you set him up for failure by signing him up for sports he doesn't know how to play (or rules)?
You should have pre-emptively given him exposure, pass the ball, watch on TV, etc.

Well the name of the class is "Beginner Field Hockey" and none of his friends had ever played it before either according to their moms. But he didn't pick up what to do as fast as the other boys did.

Anonymous wrote:Find him a team activity that isn't sports. Robotics, theater, band. There's a whole world out there that doesn't require athleticism where he can be happier.

He does a good variety of non-sports ECs but I do want him to get exercise.
My own mother did not allow me to do any ECs because of the expense / she didn't feel like chauffeuring so I guess I'm sort of over-enthusiastic about my kids trying all the things.

OP, I could have written the exact same thing about my mother, so I get it. Also, I was a non-athletic child, and I wish my parents had gotten me into some sport activities just to help boost my confidence a bit- I was always the last kid picked in PE and it was the worst. Eventually I took a couple community rec tennis classes and would go hit with my aunt, and then I couldn't wait for
the tennis weeks in PE because I was no longer the worst in my class at a sport, lol.

Besides swimming, I think cross-country often starts in middle school so that might be worth a try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our rec league would never tolerate that behavior. Take that $hit to travel sports. Sorry OP. I get why you don’t want to subject him to meanness, but I agree to keep looking for something he likes and can feel good about.

+1. A couple other suggestiopns if you haven't tried them already OP- indoor rock climbing, ninja classes, tennis, run club.

[Anonymous]

Nerds on the run

[Anonymous]

If OP’s kid only wants to do the sports because his friends are in it, don’t see the point of these suggestions. If kid really wants to do these particular sports with his friends, maybe a private trainer once a week or so until he is competent enough to be middle of the pack.

[Anonymous]

I am shocked - I agree that behavior would not be tolerated in any rec league my kids have done.

If your kid still wants to play sports, look for a different team. Every kid should be able to play and HAVE FUN in a rec league.

If your kid is over it, focus on other way to be active (family hikes in the winter, etc.). If there is appetite, maybe try a sports lesson or different rec team in spring. Or maybe a camp in the summer (eg, a multisport camp).

I know sports seem like everything now, but once middle school comes, many kids (even athletic ones) focus on other extracurriculars. There is band, theater, and so much out there.

[Anonymous]

My non-athletic 4th grader just discovered indoor climbing and loves it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep trying non team sports especially the ones where it’s ok to start older. Try tennis lessons, fencing, golf etc

Just because they aren’t team sports doesn’t mean they are easier. If he’s not athletic then let the sports go. They are not necessary.

[Anonymous]

Are you in the US? I'm stunned that you've had multiple horrific rec sports experiences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Swim team!! It’s a super supportive environment.

Ugh swim team is super competitive

[Anonymous]

Golf! My oldest son went to college on a golf scholarship, my other 3 were not at all athletic. Now we all play golf as adults and love it.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he won’t be a champ at any sport but I hope you can find ones more supportive and inclusive! My DD is similar but maybe it’s easier for a girl or my town is less crazy because she plays house soccer and swims and all coaches are great, mainly focused on helping kids achieve their potential and have fun. Not overly obsessed with winning

[Anonymous]

Thank you all, he does do band, scouts and church choir. All these things are just social outlets for him. I found a ninja warrior type class that I think will be perfect. We live in a frigid, flat area so no biking for half the year and no skiing. Our town is known to have over the top sports parents (slowly gentrifying LMC white people.)