What are we supposed to do about non-athletic child?

[Anonymous]

Are you in the US? I'm stunned that you've had multiple horrific rec sports experiences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Swim team!! It’s a super supportive environment.

Ugh swim team is super competitive

[Anonymous]

Golf! My oldest son went to college on a golf scholarship, my other 3 were not at all athletic. Now we all play golf as adults and love it.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he won’t be a champ at any sport but I hope you can find ones more supportive and inclusive! My DD is similar but maybe it’s easier for a girl or my town is less crazy because she plays house soccer and swims and all coaches are great, mainly focused on helping kids achieve their potential and have fun. Not overly obsessed with winning

[Anonymous]

Thank you all, he does do band, scouts and church choir. All these things are just social outlets for him. I found a ninja warrior type class that I think will be perfect. We live in a frigid, flat area so no biking for half the year and no skiing. Our town is known to have over the top sports parents (slowly gentrifying LMC white people.)

[Anonymous]

Definitely swim, on a non -competitive team, if you are in DC. Sounds like you're not, but worth looking into. As it's an individual sports your kid's performance does not really affect a team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dunno why people keep suggesting swimming. It's going to be pretty difficult to get a kid who is not interested or at least decent to stick with it. It's swimming laps, which is hard. It's multiple days a week. It's discouraging to be last.

Something like the winter swim for a summer leave might be less competitive but a lot of kids have been doing it since like five..

In DC there are plenty of non-competitive teams for kids who are slow and only want to swim a day or two per week.

[Anonymous]

I think you’re at the worst age for this bc the hyper competitive kids haven’t yet peeled off to travel and club teams. It gets better in about a year when that happens. My sons both hated soccer for exactly the reasons you’re describing. It killed me bc I loved rec soccer growing up. Mine both quit in third grade but followed European soccer on line religiously and would play in the yard occasionally. When they were upper middle school I put them in soccer skills classes with actual coaches vs dads and no games. They kept at it and both are playing all through high school. They also got into tennis bc again you can do small lessons with real coaches and avoid competition until they’re asking for it. Othe suggestions would be track or cross country or swimming bc the times are individual but they still get to be social on a team. Golf seems to be a good sport to pick up around age 10.
Finally, in a sick way, I’ve enjoyed watching my kids catch up slowly athletically while some of these boys and parents who thought they were super stars in 3rd & 4th grade actually peaked around then. Just avoid baseball and the sports where there tend to be a lot of kids and dads who think it’s ok to put down other kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re at the worst age for this bc the hyper competitive kids haven’t yet peeled off to travel and club teams. It gets better in about a year when that happens. My sons both hated soccer for exactly the reasons you’re describing. It killed me bc I loved rec soccer growing up. Mine both quit in third grade but followed European soccer on line religiously and would play in the yard occasionally. When they were upper middle school I put them in soccer skills classes with actual coaches vs dads and no games. They kept at it and both are playing all through high school. They also got into tennis bc again you can do small lessons with real coaches and avoid competition until they’re asking for it. Othe suggestions would be track or cross country or swimming bc the times are individual but they still get to be social on a team. Golf seems to be a good sport to pick up around age 10.
Finally, in a sick way, I’ve enjoyed watching my kids catch up slowly athletically while some of these boys and parents who thought they were super stars in 3rd & 4th grade actually peaked around then. Just avoid baseball and the sports where there tend to be a lot of kids and dads who think it’s ok to put down other kids.

You are sick

[Anonymous]

Definitely summer swim team op! You said he swims, find a fun summer swim team. It is so much fun and as long as it isn’t like a division 1 or 2 team it will be super inclusive and fun. Even those teams you can swim in the b meets and cheer at the a meets and have fun

Also- I highly recommend you consider sending him to sleep away summer camp if swim team doesn’t seem like a fit. That’s what my parents did for my less athletic sister and it was brilliant. They chose a great longer, established New England summer camp. Not a one week or two week thing. You could build up to the longer but the longer four week camps you can really build community and independence. He can build physical confidence in such different ways beyond just SPORTS. Choose a camp that isn’t super focused on competition and sports, they are out there but choose wisely. We like Farm and Wilderness in Vermont.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you all, he does do band, scouts and church choir. All these things are just social outlets for him. I found a ninja warrior type class that I think will be perfect. We live in a frigid, flat area so no biking for half the year and no skiing. Our town is known to have over the top sports parents (slowly gentrifying LMC white people.)

Darn I just saw you don’t live here - I recommended the summer swim and sleepaway camp. I was going to come back and say biking because I also have gotten my kid into biking who isn’t the best at team sports due to some special needs. Hopefully the ninja warrior thing is good. I would def follow his lead and don’t force him into sports or try to make him athletic if he is not. What does he like most out of the things you listed there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Swim team. Consider diving, as well.

Hard no to 5am high school practices. Good luck convincing a “non athletic” kid to do this

I think the people mentioning swim are talking about summer swim team - the fun kind of swim. Not the drudgery of winter swim

[Anonymous]

Swimming is good for uncoordinated people. Definitely swimn

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Swim team. Consider diving, as well.

Hard no to 5am high school practices. Good luck convincing a “non athletic” kid to do this

I think the people mentioning swim are talking about summer swim team - the fun kind of swim. Not the drudgery of winter swim

Swim at our neighborhood pool is the absolute worst for competitive parents and kids. It’s just gross. Even my friends whose kids do it think it’s so over the top and crazily turns into a popularity thing too. Would very much not recommend unless you were sure you had a pool full of very mediocre swimmers.

It sounds like the adults are the biggest problem, which sucks. My husband coaches and if he heard another coach talk to one of their players like that he would have words and report them to the league. So would I! He has a group of sweet mostly non athletes this year and he’s very enthusiastic and encouraging. It can be hard anyway if every game is a blowout. If that’s not happening and your son wants to play with his friends, you could coach or your partner.

Also, while I don’t love the tone of PP, it is true that sometimes what seems like early athleticism is actually a early growth spurt or a lot more exposure than the rest of the peer group. Some kids really are super stars and stay that way but a lot of kids sort of have good years and bad years and figure themselves out. I just want to encourage you not to pigeon hole him as “not athletic” or “bad at sports” when he is still really young. One of my kids in particular freezes up when they can tell they are not doing well- they would really struggle in the environment you described despite being pretty athletic.

[Anonymous]

Boy Scouts and he can start playing a musical instrument