Debating whether to quit work at 50

[Anonymous]

I went back to work after staying home to raise kids and I don’t love it. I wish I could have continued what I had before. Quit if you’re able OP and enjoy your life. I have friends getting diagnosed with cancer and loved ones passing away. Wishing I worked more isn’t something I would say if I was told I had a terminal illness with months left to live.

FWIW, if I could pick something non-stressful to do, I’d get a job with an animal shelter or with a botanical garden-type place. Not volunteer, but actually paid for about 15-20 hours/week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you might get divorced. aging unemployed uninteresting woman at home - doesn't make you that exciting.

You are disgusting.

[Anonymous]

I am surprised at some of the responses here. I am a 36yo FT WOHM with young kids and I would quit in a heartbeat in OP’s shoes. I don’t quit myself because of wanting to use my education, be a good model and contribute to finances etc., but given OP’s and her kids’ ages she’s already BTDT. Why not retire and enjoy a slower pace of life? I could easily fill my days as a mom of teens or even as an empty nester. My mother spends a decent chunk of her week gardening, and all her neighbors compliment her profusely and go by her house on purpose, so it’s like a public service lol. And I could see myself investing more time in cooking - just about everything from scratch including processed snacks. And learning how to tailor all of our clothes for a better fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many people think they will find fulfilling opportunities volunteering or the like, and discover that it's very difficult - you're handing out brochures, putting stamps on envelopes, things like that. I would rather work at a non profit than volunteer.

With kids in college soon I can't imagine you would enjoy having all day every day to fill. I find I'm more fulfilled when I have many things to do. I love to work out and cook but I definitely don't need a full day to do so. I see a lot of bored, gossipy women in their 50s and 60s in my neighborhood whose lives revolve around pickleball, tennis, gardening etc and I don't want to be that.

Personally I would look for another low stress job vs retire.

But what would that be?

OP here and this is where I’m at. I would love a low-stress job for 15-20 hours a week that’s at least somewhat fulfilling, but what would that be? It’s possible I could pull off something like this with independent consulting but I don’t know.

I really appreciate the cautions about volunteering. I’m looking at some groups that offer GED tutoring to adults or other efforts that seem to match you with someone in need so maybe those would feel worthwhile? I’m not sure. I’m at least trying to find places that are really clear on volunteer tasks or where I know people already volunteering there. I hope to try out some of these but for others it probably wouldn’t be possible with my job and other commitments.

I’m still reading and thinking through all the comments! Thanks again to those who who’ve posted especially if this is a step you’ve taken or something you’ve considered or are now considering.

You could get a TESOL certificate and teach English online. You can earn the certificate within a year, depending on the program and if you have to, start off volunteering for experience and references. The students pay for the courses so they’re more motivated to show up. The pay isn’t great, but it’s something and you’re helping the students learn a valuable skill.

Volunteering to teach, especially if the student isn’t paying and the org isn’t compensating you, can be frustrating if the student misses classes and you just wanted your time with a no-show. If you’re getting a certificate, at least there’s something in it for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m closing in on 50, two young teen kids, and am in the very fortunate position that we do not need my income. I’m trying to decide whether to step out of the workforce—including potentially keeping one toe in with some kind of minimal consulting—but mainly focusing on volunteering and other activities I find fulfilling. Right now I work about 75% time and am relatively low-earning, and while my colleagues are wonderful and the work is intellectually stimulating, it’s also very stressful. That’s the nature of the niche area I’m in so a new job wouldn’t have an impact there.

Even though I know that quitting my job will have no meaningful effect on our finances, it still feels pretty weird to make this change after almost 30 years in the workforce. DH is supportive of whatever I decide but wants to make sure this isn’t a grass-is-greener phenomenon.

I don’t really have friends IRL in this situation and feel awkward talking about it. I’d welcome input from anyone in the DCUM crowd who has considered this kind of early retirement (or whatever it should be called), whether you ultimately took the plunge or not. Any regrets? Things to think about ahead of time? Thanks!

Yes. Sorry to be blunt, but what happens if you are suddenly widowed later this decade or in your early 60's? Your 50's and early 60's may be the last years that you are able to earn a consistent salary to save for retirement and old age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m closing in on 50, two young teen kids, and am in the very fortunate position that we do not need my income. I’m trying to decide whether to step out of the workforce—including potentially keeping one toe in with some kind of minimal consulting—but mainly focusing on volunteering and other activities I find fulfilling. Right now I work about 75% time and am relatively low-earning, and while my colleagues are wonderful and the work is intellectually stimulating, it’s also very stressful. That’s the nature of the niche area I’m in so a new job wouldn’t have an impact there.

Even though I know that quitting my job will have no meaningful effect on our finances, it still feels pretty weird to make this change after almost 30 years in the workforce. DH is supportive of whatever I decide but wants to make sure this isn’t a grass-is-greener phenomenon.

I don’t really have friends IRL in this situation and feel awkward talking about it. I’d welcome input from anyone in the DCUM crowd who has considered this kind of early retirement (or whatever it should be called), whether you ultimately took the plunge or not. Any regrets? Things to think about ahead of time? Thanks!

Yes. Sorry to be blunt, but what happens if you are suddenly widowed later this decade or in your early 60's? Your 50's and early 60's may be the last years that you are able to earn a consistent salary to save for retirement and old age.

I assume they have a ton of assets and already funded retirement. Her. dH is working to build generational wealth.

[Anonymous]

Mid 50s and could quit if I desired. But I like the idea of starting to build wealth to pass to my kids. Pay for college for future grandkids and houses to raise them in. Make sure that my daughters never feel dependent on having a husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mid 50s and could quit if I desired. But I like the idea of starting to build wealth to pass to my kids. Pay for college for future grandkids and houses to raise them in. Make sure that my daughters never feel dependent on having a husband.

Not me. I want to enjoy my life and have fun. Not needing to enter annual leave to go on vacation, no alarm clock, working out when no one is at the gym, last minute travel, lunches out etc.

I can’t imagine sacrificing my own life just so my kids don’t have a mortgage.

My own parents are like this and I think it’s a shame that I get to enjoy their wealth but they worked themselves to the bone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised at some of the responses here. I am a 36yo FT WOHM with young kids and I would quit in a heartbeat in OP’s shoes. I don’t quit myself because of wanting to use my education, be a good model and contribute to finances etc., but given OP’s and her kids’ ages she’s already BTDT. Why not retire and enjoy a slower pace of life? I could easily fill my days as a mom of teens or even as an empty nester. My mother spends a decent chunk of her week gardening, and all her neighbors compliment her profusely and go by her house on purpose, so it’s like a public service lol. And I could see myself investing more time in cooking - just about everything from scratch including processed snacks. And learning how to tailor all of our clothes for a better fit.

Yes, but you probably feel that way because WOHM life with young kids is really hard and relentless. Once your kids are driving themselves around town and gone from morning till night, you will have time to cook or garden or whatever you like after work. You also might find that you aren't quite ready to identify as a "retired" person at 50. I have one kid in college and one high schooler who is at school for 11 or 12 hours a day. It's not that they never need me, but everything about it is just so different than when they took up most of my non-working hours. In late spring I can spend about 10 hours/week gardening on top of my full time job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mid 50s and could quit if I desired. But I like the idea of starting to build wealth to pass to my kids. Pay for college for future grandkids and houses to raise them in. Make sure that my daughters never feel dependent on having a husband.

Not me. I want to enjoy my life and have fun. Not needing to enter annual leave to go on vacation, no alarm clock, working out when no one is at the gym, last minute travel, lunches out etc.

I can’t imagine sacrificing my own life just so my kids don’t have a mortgage.

My own parents are like this and I think it’s a shame that I get to enjoy their wealth but they worked themselves to the bone.

I already did everything I wanted to do and I like my job. I can go to 70.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised at some of the responses here. I am a 36yo FT WOHM with young kids and I would quit in a heartbeat in OP’s shoes. I don’t quit myself because of wanting to use my education, be a good model and contribute to finances etc., but given OP’s and her kids’ ages she’s already BTDT. Why not retire and enjoy a slower pace of life? I could easily fill my days as a mom of teens or even as an empty nester. My mother spends a decent chunk of her week gardening, and all her neighbors compliment her profusely and go by her house on purpose, so it’s like a public service lol. And I could see myself investing more time in cooking - just about everything from scratch including processed snacks. And learning how to tailor all of our clothes for a better fit.

Agree. I’m 45 and hoping to be in a position like OP in a few years. I think I’d be much healthier without the work stress and with time to exercise and cook

[Anonymous]

My only reference point for this is Covid, when my industry was hit hard. I was given a 6 month furlough in April 2020, meaning I would probably not have a job in October.

It was my first real break from full time work in 25 years, except for 2 maternity leaves. I thought I would be bored.

It was amazing. I spent more time with my then tween/teen children. I walked. I read. I cooked. I did home improvements. I talked to people on the phone. I also didn’t have the stress of pretending to work or thinking about my job, which I didn’t love but was a “good one”.

I found another job in October 2020 at a different company and have been employed ever since. But it gave me a taste of what retirement might be like, and it’s not scary. It was amazing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My only reference point for this is Covid, when my industry was hit hard. I was given a 6 month furlough in April 2020, meaning I would probably not have a job in October.

It was my first real break from full time work in 25 years, except for 2 maternity leaves. I thought I would be bored.

It was amazing. I spent more time with my then tween/teen children. I walked. I read. I cooked. I did home improvements. I talked to people on the phone. I also didn’t have the stress of pretending to work or thinking about my job, which I didn’t love but was a “good one”.

I found another job in October 2020 at a different company and have been employed ever since. But it gave me a taste of what retirement might be like, and it’s not scary. It was amazing!

A six month break with kids around the house is completely different than 30 years of this without anyone but potentially a spouse in the house.

[Anonymous]

That’s why I said, “my only reference point”. But many things are similar: teens at home, not little kids, plus I had even less I could actually do because of COVID lockdowns.

Also, I can tell from OPs post that she values working and is having trouble with the potential for feeling “unproductive”. I was like that too.

OP also has even more financial stability and wouldn’t have to get another job in the end, unlike me after 6 months.

Anyway, I thought I would feel bored, instead I felt relieved and didn’t realize how burnt out I was.

Go for it OP. Let yourself off the hook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My only reference point for this is Covid, when my industry was hit hard. I was given a 6 month furlough in April 2020, meaning I would probably not have a job in October.

It was my first real break from full time work in 25 years, except for 2 maternity leaves. I thought I would be bored.

It was amazing. I spent more time with my then tween/teen children. I walked. I read. I cooked. I did home improvements. I talked to people on the phone. I also didn’t have the stress of pretending to work or thinking about my job, which I didn’t love but was a “good one”.

I found another job in October 2020 at a different company and have been employed ever since. But it gave me a taste of what retirement might be like, and it’s not scary. It was amazing!

A six month break with kids around the house is completely different than 30 years of this without anyone but potentially a spouse in the house.

Nah it’s enough time to figure out if you can occupy yourself or not.