Debating whether to quit work at 50

[Anonymous]

I’m closing in on 50, two young teen kids, and am in the very fortunate position that we do not need my income. I’m trying to decide whether to step out of the workforce—including potentially keeping one toe in with some kind of minimal consulting—but mainly focusing on volunteering and other activities I find fulfilling. Right now I work about 75% time and am relatively low-earning, and while my colleagues are wonderful and the work is intellectually stimulating, it’s also very stressful. That’s the nature of the niche area I’m in so a new job wouldn’t have an impact there.

Even though I know that quitting my job will have no meaningful effect on our finances, it still feels pretty weird to make this change after almost 30 years in the workforce. DH is supportive of whatever I decide but wants to make sure this isn’t a grass-is-greener phenomenon.

I don’t really have friends IRL in this situation and feel awkward talking about it. I’d welcome input from anyone in the DCUM crowd who has considered this kind of early retirement (or whatever it should be called), whether you ultimately took the plunge or not. Any regrets? Things to think about ahead of time? Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Of course

[Anonymous]

I think the big thing is how you will fill your time. For some this is easy, there are others that seem to need the structure of work. Your kids won't need/want you around for much longer so I'd think beyond the next 3 years in this regard. Presumably your spouse won't be retiring for several more years so you will need to find things to do without them.

[Anonymous]

What would you do instead that would be intellectually stimulating?

I would try going to 50% and see if that feels right before quitting completely.

[Anonymous]

I just turned 58 and will be working another four years to get dd through college. But if I didn’t have to, I would retire in a heartbeat.

It sounds like you have both the financial and spousal support. If you find that it’s not what you thought it would be, you can always find another job. I would look at this as an opportunity to explore passions you may not have had time for in the past. Go for it!

[Anonymous]

I'm 54 and have worked full time and been a SAHM. I prefer working, but would love it if I could reduce to 50%. Work keeps me sharp, young, and feeling relevant. If you can find and commit to high levels of volunteering or consulting, you might feel the same effect, but it's very, very easy to end up with too much time on your hands or a lot of monotony, which can aggravate feelings of depression and anxiety (so common for peri and post menopausal women).
Even though you are set financially, it's good to have backup to employer provided healthcare--that was a financial consideration with an old DH. Ageism is no myth when it comes to who's first for a layoff.

[Anonymous]

Some things to think about:

1) What message does this send to your children about working and incomes? (I mean this neutrally.)

2) Can you get a paying job in the areas where you volunteer?

3) Will your teens need more or less logistical support from you during their high school years? (Mine required less.)

4) What impact will this have on your marriage? (My cohort has entered the gray divorce era.)

5) Would you be all set to private pay health insurance if your husband's job/business/etc. weren't providing it?

[Anonymous]

Don't count on volunteerism to fill your intellectual needs, or even social ones for that matter.

Many organizations are filled with people who are fiercely territorial about their volunteer positions, are very clannish and will typically give newbies all the mindless crap work to do.

Keep in mind that "newbies" can mean you've ONLY been with them for a few years rather than a decade or more like others.

I've volunteered with almost half a dozen different organizations since my early retirement. They often like doing things their way which is often antiquated, outdated and not useful.

Volunteered with an organization which sorely needed to raise funds. Per their request, I developed a simple fundraising and communication plan for them. They ignored it and continued to do things the way they've done it for 20 years.

[Anonymous]

I would try not to feel guilty about it, whatever you choose.

Maybe think of it as quitting this job and not a full fledged retirement. Baby step.

FWIW I would 100% quit your current job in your situation. Most people put up with a high stress job because they have to.

Americans overvalue being productive all the time and although we’ve long heard of retirees who are bored, there are ways to remedy that without staying in the workforce.

Just give yourself 6 months off and time to get into a new pattern of daily living. You can always go back to paid employment, albeit with some effort, afterwards if you somehow hate it.

[Anonymous]

In general I think people think early retirement sounds great until they actually do it. People discount the many benefits of working (apart from the money) and tend to be understimulated, bored, lonely and, surprisingly, less healthy. This is up by research.

I hope to be able to work some type of job up to 65 or 70 if I can. My kids are in high school too and I definitely would not want to be unemployed once they go to college.

[Anonymous]

Can you go part time? That’s my dream.

However, presume your spouse gets hit by a car tomorrow. How are you set up? If that would involve getting back into the workforce, then don’t leave it. I have a friend whose father died when she was young, and watching her mother deal with things and struggle means that she has always stayed working and limited her number of kids because she was always thinking about “what if I had to do it all on my own?”

[Anonymous]

you might get divorced. aging unemployed uninteresting woman at home - doesn't make you that exciting.

[Anonymous]

I retired at 51 and love it. I still work very part time in a different job but I love my new life and enjoy the time with my teens.

[Anonymous]

I’m confused. You have worked for 30 years, so clearly your DH doesn’t have some huge income. What does it mean you don’t have to work? You can get by on his salary for living expenses, healthcare, retirement funds, and college? What about helping your kids get established or if they have trouble launching? What if your DH gets laid off which is common and crippling after 50?

Your kids are likely pretty grown and independent, so I would actually say pivot into a higher paying field and leave your niche. It sounds like you have a passion job, especially since it allows part time work but is still demanding. I would look for more lucrative roles, maybe something in a gov role or university.

Now if your DH had a big payday and none of these are worries, I’m 100% for retirement. I’m just unclear from your OP exactly what is young long term plan.

[Anonymous]

I did it - and am thrilled. It's wonderful to be available for your teens when they want to talk, hang out, get a ride, etc. I prioritize me time during the school day and am healthier than ever. I exercise more, and we all eat better. My house is more organized, my relationships with friends and family improved, etc. Agree with PP who said a careful review of your finance contingencies is essential, but otherwise I'd highly recommend you give it a try.