Debating whether to quit work at 50

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised at some of the responses here. I am a 36yo FT WOHM with young kids and I would quit in a heartbeat in OP’s shoes. I don’t quit myself because of wanting to use my education, be a good model and contribute to finances etc., but given OP’s and her kids’ ages she’s already BTDT. Why not retire and enjoy a slower pace of life? I could easily fill my days as a mom of teens or even as an empty nester. My mother spends a decent chunk of her week gardening, and all her neighbors compliment her profusely and go by her house on purpose, so it’s like a public service lol. And I could see myself investing more time in cooking - just about everything from scratch including processed snacks. And learning how to tailor all of our clothes for a better fit.

Agree. I’m 45 and hoping to be in a position like OP in a few years. I think I’d be much healthier without the work stress and with time to exercise and cook

[Anonymous]

My only reference point for this is Covid, when my industry was hit hard. I was given a 6 month furlough in April 2020, meaning I would probably not have a job in October.

It was my first real break from full time work in 25 years, except for 2 maternity leaves. I thought I would be bored.

It was amazing. I spent more time with my then tween/teen children. I walked. I read. I cooked. I did home improvements. I talked to people on the phone. I also didn’t have the stress of pretending to work or thinking about my job, which I didn’t love but was a “good one”.

I found another job in October 2020 at a different company and have been employed ever since. But it gave me a taste of what retirement might be like, and it’s not scary. It was amazing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My only reference point for this is Covid, when my industry was hit hard. I was given a 6 month furlough in April 2020, meaning I would probably not have a job in October.

It was my first real break from full time work in 25 years, except for 2 maternity leaves. I thought I would be bored.

It was amazing. I spent more time with my then tween/teen children. I walked. I read. I cooked. I did home improvements. I talked to people on the phone. I also didn’t have the stress of pretending to work or thinking about my job, which I didn’t love but was a “good one”.

I found another job in October 2020 at a different company and have been employed ever since. But it gave me a taste of what retirement might be like, and it’s not scary. It was amazing!

A six month break with kids around the house is completely different than 30 years of this without anyone but potentially a spouse in the house.

[Anonymous]

That’s why I said, “my only reference point”. But many things are similar: teens at home, not little kids, plus I had even less I could actually do because of COVID lockdowns.

Also, I can tell from OPs post that she values working and is having trouble with the potential for feeling “unproductive”. I was like that too.

OP also has even more financial stability and wouldn’t have to get another job in the end, unlike me after 6 months.

Anyway, I thought I would feel bored, instead I felt relieved and didn’t realize how burnt out I was.

Go for it OP. Let yourself off the hook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My only reference point for this is Covid, when my industry was hit hard. I was given a 6 month furlough in April 2020, meaning I would probably not have a job in October.

It was my first real break from full time work in 25 years, except for 2 maternity leaves. I thought I would be bored.

It was amazing. I spent more time with my then tween/teen children. I walked. I read. I cooked. I did home improvements. I talked to people on the phone. I also didn’t have the stress of pretending to work or thinking about my job, which I didn’t love but was a “good one”.

I found another job in October 2020 at a different company and have been employed ever since. But it gave me a taste of what retirement might be like, and it’s not scary. It was amazing!

A six month break with kids around the house is completely different than 30 years of this without anyone but potentially a spouse in the house.

Nah it’s enough time to figure out if you can occupy yourself or not.

[Anonymous]

I think people who quit working early tend to have cognitive decline.

[Anonymous]

Your reasons for quitting don't really suggest that's actually what you want. Sounds like what you want is less stress, but you still want some kind of structured organization or tangible outcome that you can contribute to.

Volunteering might provide it, but you need to choose the volunteer opportunity carefully. I would have something lined up before quitting, and really know what I was getting into.

Consulting is difficult, because you still need to invest in building up clients. If your skills are so in demand and rare that you will have them lined up, this might work...but you also need to ensure that your niche skills provide in-and-out expertise. I did some consulting when my kids were young with my "rare and in-demand" skills, but in the end everyone wanted to hire someone in-house for this needed work. The contracts were either more like extended job interviews or they consisted of the least interesting grunt work within my skill area.

Life's a lot of trade offs, and I can't really get a grasp on how stressful your current job actually is. But my observation of your post is that you aren't really ready to quit yet and focus on things entirely in your control (e.g. caring for house and family), so make sure you have a real plan for what comes next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went back to work after staying home to raise kids and I don’t love it. I wish I could have continued what I had before. Quit if you’re able OP and enjoy your life. I have friends getting diagnosed with cancer and loved ones passing away. Wishing I worked more isn’t something I would say if I was told I had a terminal illness with months left to live.

FWIW, if I could pick something non-stressful to do, I’d get a job with an animal shelter or with a botanical garden-type place. Not volunteer, but actually paid for about 15-20 hours/week.

If you were able to do this, how would you feel about making far less and be in a low hourly position comparatively? The low stress and enjoyable part might be worth it though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people who quit working early tend to have cognitive decline.

I think some people have cognitive decline and others who know them (but who don’t work with them) don’t notice it until they quit working. We suspect the co-workers saw it but we didn’t until after retirement. Did the retirement speed it up or is that just how cognitive decline progresses?

Seems bananas to suggest someone who has said they are stressed out at work should continue to work because it will stave off cognitive decline. think I’ve read that stress can contribute to cognitive decline. If someone is going to retire and be socially isolated/not engaged and sit around watching TV all day, then I would expect some cognitive decline; for others, retirement could be positive.

You don’t stop dreaming because you get old, you get old because you stop dreaming or whatever

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went back to work after staying home to raise kids and I don’t love it. I wish I could have continued what I had before. Quit if you’re able OP and enjoy your life. I have friends getting diagnosed with cancer and loved ones passing away. Wishing I worked more isn’t something I would say if I was told I had a terminal illness with months left to live.

FWIW, if I could pick something non-stressful to do, I’d get a job with an animal shelter or with a botanical garden-type place. Not volunteer, but actually paid for about 15-20 hours/week.

If you were able to do this, how would you feel about making far less and be in a low hourly position comparatively? The low stress and enjoyable part might be worth it though.

PP here. I think I would be OK with it if it was my segue to retirement. Not having to carry a laptop home and answer messages in the vending would be liberating. Unfortunately, I need the money now, so it’s not realistic.

[Anonymous]

Don’t quite altogether, ho part tome. I stopped working around your age with teens, I am now going out of my mind. The novelty of staying home and cooking and cleaning and cooking and cleaning becomes monotonous. I also volunteer, there’s still bureaucracy and bullshit with volunteer jobs.

Take time off if you need it, then go back part time. Your teens won’t want to talk to you anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t quite altogether, ho part tome. I stopped working around your age with teens, I am now going out of my mind. The novelty of staying home and cooking and cleaning and cooking and cleaning becomes monotonous. I also volunteer, there’s still bureaucracy and bullshit with volunteer jobs.

Take time off if you need it, then go back part time. Your teens won’t want to talk to you anyway.

Not the case for every teen. But yes I agree with going PRN or part time doing something more fun.