Debating whether to quit work at 50

[Anonymous]

Go for it. Message to the kids: working for money is one option, and money working for us, is another option.
They will probably combine the two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did it - and am thrilled. It's wonderful to be available for your teens when they want to talk, hang out, get a ride, etc. I prioritize me time during the school day and am healthier than ever. I exercise more, and we all eat better. My house is more organized, my relationships with friends and family improved, etc. Agree with PP who said a careful review of your finance contingencies is essential, but otherwise I'd highly recommend you give it a try.

This has been my experience, as well. I'm 56, effectively retired since 49, and I love that I get to do the things I need to do on my own time. I have hobbies and interests that keep me from feeling bored, and I take on pro bono legal work here and there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go for it. Message to the kids: working for money is one option, and money working for us, is another option.
They will probably combine the two.

It sounds more like her DH working for money, ie the man is the plan. She never made much money herself so it’s not like she is drawing from her investments.

[Anonymous]

It sounds nice to me. My concerns would be—what’s the health insurance situation? If through dh, what happens if he loses his job or becomes ill and can’t work? All kinds of crazy things can happen in the 12 years before you qualify for Medicare, including economic depression, chaos, etc. Would you be ok?

My other hesitation is that both my in laws and parents got older quickly after retirement—they are extremely educated, vibrant, active, etc. and did a lot of volunteering and advocacy, but there was a noticeable dropoff in their, for want of a better word, “with-it-ness.” Working does keep cognitive function sharp, even though it’s often a PITA. Will you have similar age peers who are around to spend time with?

[Anonymous]

OP back again. Thank you so much for all these comments, I am reading and thinking carefully about all of them. You’re giving me a lot to consider. To answer a few questions: I could have quit work years ago but have kept working for the many good reasons mentioned here. I enjoyed my job, worried about what I’d do without work, wanted to set a certain example to my kids, wanted my own income and that extra security, and so on. Lately I have been finding work much less fulfilling and much more stressful. I think it’s a me problem, craving something different, a different pace, more affected by work stress than I used to be. I am somewhat part time already. I am not sure I could drop down much more but maybe a bit.

Re health insurance, it’s definitely something to keep in mind. I guess we would rely on DH’s health insurance and if something happened go with ACA? I should explore this more.

The big question as many have mentioned is what I would do. I have been exploring volunteer opportunities in my area and find myself interested in lots of options. After many years of doing no volunteering I’m feeling a strong desire to give back to my community. But it’s true I don’t know exactly how this will play out, and this is where I get kind of stuck. I’m not in a position now to really commit to different volunteer options, but this means it would be a leap of faith to try them after quitting my job. I worry about that. If anyone else has been in this position I’d love to hear how you handled it and how it worked out. I agree it will be really important to stay engaged and have some sort of rhythm to my days, and that’s something I need to pay attention to for sure.

Please keep the comments coming! They are really helping me think this through.

[Anonymous]

I’m in a very similar circumstance and decided to keep working. But in your situation I might quit. The big difference is that you said you could keep a toe in consulting — that way, if in 5 years when the kids are in college if you really want to get a FT job again, it sounds llle you could. I think if I leave, I am done for good in my profession.

I will say that I did think I was going through a mid life crisis and if I stuck it out I would feel better about working. But it’s been a few years now and I don’t. I just really hate it. But can’t bring myself to quit and be totally financially dependent on my husband. And I’m not really sure ehat I’d do for volunteering — there’s not a natural outlet for that for me, so I’d have to think of something to do with my time other than just clean the house and watch TV.

One thing I thought about was a post-nup. Basically something that said if I quit my job I would get alimony in the event of any divorce. My husband was willing to do that. Obviously we’d split marital assets in the event of a divorce but I was somewhat worried that if I was divorced at 55 with no future earning potential (or minimal), I’d be really mad I had quit my job. I’m a pretty risk averse person!

[Anonymous]

Quit. You can find things to fill your time that will be fulfilling, and if your kids are teens (I can't remember what OP said), they need you as they navigate this challenging time. An error in judgement now can change the course of their lives, so your guidance can be crucial.

[Anonymous]

I’m 51. In a similar position financially, but decided I want to keep working for a while. My kids are a few years older and we will be empty nesters soon. I will say that once your kids get a little older and start driving, they are less likely to spend a lot of time with you or need you as much. They are busy with their friends, activities and homework. So I would say you really should think about how you will fill your days, not solely based on spending time with your kids. For me, working from home and having at least some flexibility has been key, but now that I’m starting to envision life post-kids at home, I’m really glad that I continued working.

I also have started focusing on volunteering and community service, but I don’t see that as something that will really fill the void of not working. The other piece to consider is whether you will have friends and people to spend time with during the day who don’t work. I think I would feel really isolated if I didn’t work and didn’t friends in a similar situation.

Ultimately, it really depends on your personality. I have SAH friends who are really happy and motivated to do things. That’s not how I am wired and I think I’d be pretty unproductive overall if I didn’t work. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would try not to feel guilty about it, whatever you choose.

Maybe think of it as quitting this job and not a full fledged retirement. Baby step.

FWIW I would 100% quit your current job in your situation. Most people put up with a high stress job because they have to.

Americans overvalue being productive all the time and although we’ve long heard of retirees who are bored, there are ways to remedy that without staying in the workforce.

Just give yourself 6 months off and time to get into a new pattern of daily living. You can always go back to paid employment, albeit with some effort, afterwards if you somehow hate it.

THIS - thank you PP for sharing this.

thank you, OP, for starting this thread. I agree that the input has been helpful (even the gloom and doom and snark). I did find one comment especially interesting - the commentor suggesting that she didn’t think she had the self-motivation to find activities and that is why she continues to work. I don’t know if that is what she meant by her comment, but I do think there is truth to the general idea that if you quit your job, it will be on you to figure out what you are going to do; you won’t have an employer filling your days with tasks. You will have to come up with how you will fill your time. You may love that or hate that. And that’s what I love about PP’s post, give it 6 months and see how you feel.

Sounds like you’ll give up the stress of your job and gain some time with your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back again. Thank you so much for all these comments, I am reading and thinking carefully about all of them. You’re giving me a lot to consider. To answer a few questions: I could have quit work years ago but have kept working for the many good reasons mentioned here. I enjoyed my job, worried about what I’d do without work, wanted to set a certain example to my kids, wanted my own income and that extra security, and so on. Lately I have been finding work much less fulfilling and much more stressful. I think it’s a me problem, craving something different, a different pace, more affected by work stress than I used to be. I am somewhat part time already. I am not sure I could drop down much more but maybe a bit.

Re health insurance, it’s definitely something to keep in mind. I guess we would rely on DH’s health insurance and if something happened go with ACA? I should explore this more.

The big question as many have mentioned is what I would do. I have been exploring volunteer opportunities in my area and find myself interested in lots of options. After many years of doing no volunteering I’m feeling a strong desire to give back to my community. But it’s true I don’t know exactly how this will play out, and this is where I get kind of stuck. I’m not in a position now to really commit to different volunteer options, but this means it would be a leap of faith to try them after quitting my job. I worry about that. If anyone else has been in this position I’d love to hear how you handled it and how it worked out. I agree it will be really important to stay engaged and have some sort of rhythm to my days, and that’s something I need to pay attention to for sure.

Please keep the comments coming! They are really helping me think this through.

OP, did you read 13:50?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m closing in on 50, two young teen kids, and am in the very fortunate position that we do not need my income. I’m trying to decide whether to step out of the workforce—including potentially keeping one toe in with some kind of minimal consulting—but mainly focusing on volunteering and other activities I find fulfilling. Right now I work about 75% time and am relatively low-earning, and while my colleagues are wonderful and the work is intellectually stimulating, it’s also very stressful. That’s the nature of the niche area I’m in so a new job wouldn’t have an impact there.

Even though I know that quitting my job will have no meaningful effect on our finances, it still feels pretty weird to make this change after almost 30 years in the workforce. DH is supportive of whatever I decide but wants to make sure this isn’t a grass-is-greener phenomenon.

I don’t really have friends IRL in this situation and feel awkward talking about it. I’d welcome input from anyone in the DCUM crowd who has considered this kind of early retirement (or whatever it should be called), whether you ultimately took the plunge or not. Any regrets? Things to think about ahead of time? Thanks!

I did not read the thread, OP, so this may be redundant.
DO NOT QUIT YOUR JOB.
Please. You will never work again.
I quit my job, thinking, I'll jump right back in when my kids are in school.
I was over 50 when I started job hunting, and I got nowhere. My age, and that gap in my work history killed me.
I ended up going back to school and training for another profession, which I'm in now.
It was a terrible mistake to become a SAHM, and I regret it totally.
If you can work 50% of the time, that will be OK, but don't work much less than that.
When your kids are in college, and your nest is empty, you will want to go back to work, and you'll find doors slamming shut in your face.
BTW, I have two Ivy degrees, and years of experience. I never thought I'd have trouble finding a job because I've always found employment very quickly and easily.
Yes, the job market has changed, but I'm certain I would have been able to bounce back from a part-time job if I'd stayed in the work force.
You will be bored out of your mind at home, especially if you don't have nonworking friends.
I don't need the money, but I need to work for my sanity!!! And I love the work I do now. I'm not going to stop working until I'm 100!

[Anonymous]

OP, please do not depend on volunteer work to fill your days. If you are an educated, accomplished person, you'll end up doing pretty routine things as a volunteer, and your skills and intelligence will not be appreciated. Volunteers are generally treated poorly. You are completely dispensable because you cost them nothing! If you don't have a relationship with an organization, it's hard to get situated as a volunteer. I've done tons of volunteer work, and I can't say I found any of it fulfilling, not nearly as fulfilling as working. And check your personality. The people who were happy retiring at 50 are happy because it suited them. Does filling your days with unpaid work and activities fulfill you and make you happy? If so, then go for it. If not, keep working. Also, remember your teens will be in college in a very short time. An empty nest can be devastating, especially for a SAHM. Your kids need you a lot, and then suddenly, they don't need you almost at all. If you've got a job to go to, that can dull the ache of the empty nest.

[Anonymous]

I quit corporate at 53 - love it.
I’m huge animal lover and now pet sit to get out the house and exercise.
My life is stress-free (kids in college). Fnan not an issue.
I have a ton of free time to read, show binge, hang out with friends or relax with my cats.
More time to visit/help my elderly mom.
It’s been great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I quit corporate at 53 - love it.
I’m huge animal lover and now pet sit to get out the house and exercise.
My life is stress-free (kids in college). Fnan not an issue.
I have a ton of free time to read, show binge, hang out with friends or relax with my cats.
More time to visit/help my elderly mom.
It’s been great.

So your dH got to retire too, that’s awesome

[Anonymous]

I would do it in a heartbeat if I could.