I secretly hate my spouse’s eye color (brown)

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My DH always says his eyes are green but they don't look green at all to me. We've just agreed to disagree.


This is true of everyone who says they have green eyes. I have never seen anyone who has objectively green eyes. But people love to say they have green eyes because they think it makes them “special.”
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:You sound insane, so yeah I'd say that's bad.


I love brown eyes and my current partner’s are hazel. My exDH also had hazel eyes. I DGAF. Omg OP who cares?! If you don’t love looking into the eyes of the person you love there’s something seriously wrong with you.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DH always says his eyes are green but they don't look green at all to me. We've just agreed to disagree.


This is true of everyone who says they have green eyes. I have never seen anyone who has objectively green eyes. But people love to say they have green eyes because they think it makes them “special.”


DP. I have no idea what the scientific stats are on green versus "hazel" but, as someone with hazel eyes married to someone with hazel eyes, I think that a lot of people whose eyes are hazel tend to describe their own eyes as green (though I say hazel). Hazel is technically a green-brown combination, often with brown in a ring around the iris and green surrounding that, so the predominant color is very often much more green than brown. I don't think people claim green because "it makes them 'special.'" I think they just see mostly green. It's a bit petty-minded to assume that people who call their own eye color green are doing so just out of vanity. A lot of people don't even really know what "hazel" means in eye color or why it's differentiated from green, so it's probably easier to say, or put onto forms, "green eyes."
Anonymous
PSA: Yes, preference for blue eyes is racist because it's inherently preferring a trait that by and large only white people have and that is genetically determined. Sorry if that shocks or offends anyone who never put two and two together and thought it was innocuous all their lives. I only realized it myself when I was in my 30s.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:PSA: Yes, preference for blue eyes is racist because it's inherently preferring a trait that by and large only white people have and that is genetically determined. Sorry if that shocks or offends anyone who never put two and two together and thought it was innocuous all their lives. I only realized it myself when I was in my 30s.


ETA: I would soften the use of "racist" to say "biased," i.e., strong preference for/praise of blue eyes evinces unconscious bias, and the social preference for blue eyes is likely linked to bias.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Divorce is the only sensible solution here, OP. Don’t wait! Lawyer up and file today!


A case of irreconcilable differences if I've ever heard one.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DH always says his eyes are green but they don't look green at all to me. We've just agreed to disagree.


This is true of everyone who says they have green eyes. I have never seen anyone who has objectively green eyes. But people love to say they have green eyes because they think it makes them “special.”


DP. I have no idea what the scientific stats are on green versus "hazel" but, as someone with hazel eyes married to someone with hazel eyes, I think that a lot of people whose eyes are hazel tend to describe their own eyes as green (though I say hazel). Hazel is technically a green-brown combination, often with brown in a ring around the iris and green surrounding that, so the predominant color is very often much more green than brown. I don't think people claim green because "it makes them 'special.'" I think they just see mostly green. It's a bit petty-minded to assume that people who call their own eye color green are doing so just out of vanity. A lot of people don't even really know what "hazel" means in eye color or why it's differentiated from green, so it's probably easier to say, or put onto forms, "green eyes."


You’re right that the word “hazel” is confusing. My SIL told me that light brown eyes are hazel and that only dark brown eyes are actually “brown.” I’ve never heard before that hazel can have a greenish component to it.

I think the “green” you’re talking about here is more of an olive-y brownish green, that reads to most people as brown. We all look at our own eyes in the mirror while brushing our teeth or putting on makeup, so we might see those little flecks of “green” that no one else would notice. Most people just see a light brown color. I do think that most people who say their eyes are green just think it sounds more special than brown, for whatever reason.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I've been married for 14 years and confess I don't even know what my spouse's eye color is. All I know is that it's not brown, so I guess I'm luckier than OP.


What’s wrong with brown eyes and why would that make you luckier??
Anonymous
That’s pretty rude. They came with that eye color, they had no choice in the matter.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DH always says his eyes are green but they don't look green at all to me. We've just agreed to disagree.


This is true of everyone who says they have green eyes. I have never seen anyone who has objectively green eyes. But people love to say they have green eyes because they think it makes them “special.”


Whenever I think about green eyes I think about the Nat Geo Afghan Girl:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Afghan_Girl
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I just wish they were blue, is all. I would never disclose this is real life. Is this THAT bad of a thought?


Only you know and I know what blue eyes represent.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is the stupidest thing on DCUM today and I'm sure you know what a feat that is.
You’re not the first PP to respond with this, but why do you think it’s stupid? I can see shallow and racist, but why stupid?


Dp Because what is the point except telling us how shallow the op is. If they didn't like brown eyes why did you marry someone with brown eyes? So, it is your problem op


I’m OP. I married him because I love him. I just wish his eyes were blue. It’s not the end of the world that they’re not. It’s just a personal preference.


"wish his eyes were blue?" Will that make him a better person? NO. But,you thinking this and sharing makes you a terrible person.
Anonymous


A more interesting conversation might be focused on how blue eyes are portrayed as something desirable and worthy of note in all forms of media. OP formed her preference based on something. I always notice mention of tow-heads and blue eyes in magazine articles.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:

A more interesting conversation might be focused on how blue eyes are portrayed as something desirable and worthy of note in all forms of media. OP formed her preference based on something. I always notice mention of tow-heads and blue eyes in magazine articles.


DP. "All forms of media"? You "always notice mention of tow-heads and blue eyes" in magazines?

I've never noticed either as being prevalent. I'd think this might be a function of the specific types of media you're personally consuming or noticing, not "all forms of media." That's a vastly broad claim. If you have some concrete examples or studies, that's one thing, but anecdotal impressions that you've seen blue eyes described as especially desirable sounds very 1950s to be honest. I don't mean that as a slam, I mean that it's just not what I'm actually seeing currently on social media, models in catalogues, children's book illustrations these days, profiles in publications, etc.

The increase in Latino, Asian and other actors in more prominent roles in recent years, and the increase in coverage of such actors/celebrities etc., would seem to indicate that we're all seeing more brown eyes, across a wide range of brown-to-nearly-black, than ever before. I haven't (anecdotally!) seen or heard any criticism of those eye colors, any more than I've seen praise of blue as "desirable and worthy of note."
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is the stupidest thing on DCUM today and I'm sure you know what a feat that is.
You’re not the first PP to respond with this, but why do you think it’s stupid? I can see shallow and racist, but why stupid?

It's a stupid post because:

1. HE WAS BORN THIS WAY AND YOU KNEW WHAT HIS EYE COLOR WAS WHEN YOU MARRIED HIM
2. other than wearing contacts, HE CAN'T CHANGE A DAMN THING ABOUT IT
3. Who goes around "hating" the eye color of their spouse? This is definitely a new one for DCUM
4. The vast majority of people in this world have brown eyes. So, get used to it.

-dp


Are you triggered because you have brown eyes? Your comment seems a bit unhinged.

I do indeed have brown eyes, but I'm Asian, so I can't help it. My DH (white) has gray/blue eyes.

I just think OP's post is really stupid and incredibly shallow.
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