People who ignore invitations to get together

[Anonymous]

This question is for people who ignore invitations to get together (not kids' birthday parties but adults asking other adults to come over for dinner, etc.). Why do you ignore these invitations, whether by email or by phone? When someone takes the time to invite you to get together to do something, why can't you at least make up an excuse that you're busy instead of completely ignoring it?

This happens to me all the time and it is so annoying. I'm a mom who invites other moms/families to get together a lot. This week I invited 2 different moms to get together, one was for a playdate at my house and the other was for a weekend brunch moms only. Both invitations were ignored completely, and the sad thing was that I expected it, since I've experienced this so many times. It's the rare person who actually responds to an invitation these days, and I find that very sad.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry you have experienced this. Sadly, I have too- many, many times. I fee like a lot of people are snobby, self centered and think they are too important to have to socialize unless there is a social climber type benefit to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This question is for people who ignore invitations to get together (not kids' birthday parties but adults asking other adults to come over for dinner, etc.). Why do you ignore these invitations, whether by email or by phone? When someone takes the time to invite you to get together to do something, why can't you at least make up an excuse that you're busy instead of completely ignoring it?

This happens to me all the time and it is so annoying. I'm a mom who invites other moms/families to get together a lot. This week I invited 2 different moms to get together, one was for a playdate at my house and the other was for a weekend brunch moms only. Both invitations were ignored completely, and the sad thing was that I expected it, since I've experienced this so many times. It's the rare person who actually responds to an invitation these days, and I find that very sad.

I'm sorry. This is a pet peeve of mine. I believe it is because all those little courtesies have fallen by the wayside. A simple RSVP, a call to say you are busy - its so easy. I don't see why people won't/can't do it. Its like everyone is socially backward now.

[Anonymous]

Most of the parents I've dealt with do respond - yay or nay, or even late, but I did have one parent completely ignore it. I've never asked again.

[Anonymous]

OP, I agree it's rude and unacceptable. If it is the same people who continue to avoid RSVP-ing. It's a good guess these people do not like you and do not want to be your friend, stop inviting them! If this is something that happens frequently with all kinds of people, it might be that there is something off-putting about your personality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this is something that happens frequently with all kinds of people, it might be that there is something off-putting about your personality.

OP here. Sadly, it is something that happens to me frequently. I do have a few friends, but would love to have more. But I know that if I don't at least make the effort to invite, no one is going to invite me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is something that happens frequently with all kinds of people, it might be that there is something off-putting about your personality.

OP here. Sadly, it is something that happens to me frequently. I do have a few friends, but would love to have more. But I know that if I don't at least make the effort to invite, no one is going to invite me.

I'm sorry. I would keep trying to reach out, but perhaps work more to connect in person before making social plans. Is there someone you can trust that could give you some honest feedback? I know that when I am feeling anxious (socially) I can over-do it a bit and that of course can back fire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is something that happens frequently with all kinds of people, it might be that there is something off-putting about your personality.

OP here. Sadly, it is something that happens to me frequently. I do have a few friends, but would love to have more. But I know that if I don't at least make the effort to invite, no one is going to invite me.

OP I think its probably more that manners have gone by the wayside sadly in 2015.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I agree it's rude and unacceptable. If it is the same people who continue to avoid RSVP-ing. It's a good guess these people do not like you and do not want to be your friend, stop inviting them! If this is something that happens frequently with all kinds of people, it might be that there is something off-putting about your personality.

Even if I didn't like a person I wouldn't be rude.

[Anonymous]

Saying you're busy means you have to go through the "well what about next week?" Stuff. Perhaps these people are all bitches and flakey. Maybe it's you or your kids. Either way...sorry op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Saying you're busy means you have to go through the "well what about next week?" Stuff.

OP here. I didn't think of it this way but perhaps you are right. Maybe that is why they are just ignoring, because they don't want me to suggest another day/time because they don't like me and don't want to get together. It's just depressing.

[Anonymous]

Can someone give a few examples of what would be considered "overdoing it" socially? It's not like I'm inviting someone to get together for dinner on a Friday night after meeting them one time. More like I see them 5 or more times at some events, and then suggest meeting up for something casual.

[Anonymous]

So a few things:

1. Are you positive you have their correct contact information? Maybe you left out a letter in their email or transposed numbers?

2. Do these people have very young children? Some of my friends won't reply to a text for a few days because something took their attention away while they were reading it and then they forgot until later.

3. Maybe these people are just rude and if they are, do you really want them to be your friend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is something that happens frequently with all kinds of people, it might be that there is something off-putting about your personality.

OP here. Sadly, it is something that happens to me frequently. I do have a few friends, but would love to have more. But I know that if I don't at least make the effort to invite, no one is going to invite me.

Didn't you post about this somewhat recently? The mom brunch rings a bell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Saying you're busy means you have to go through the "well what about next week?" Stuff.

OP here. I didn't think of it this way but perhaps you are right. Maybe that is why they are just ignoring, because they don't want me to suggest another day/time because they don't like me and don't want to get together. It's just depressing.

OP - I don't mean to sound harsh, but this isn't MS/HS. Find something else in your life to give you fulfillment/meaning. Not saying having friends is not important, definitely is. But, you are sounding desperate and maybe a bit clingy? Not everyone wants to make new friends or socialize with people that aren't their close friends. This is not me, btw. I just realize that not everyone wants to be sociable with everyone. Just move on.