other kids' cell phones at sleepovers

Anonymous
My DD is 9 and we had a sleepover last night with a few other friends same age. As per usual, they stayed up late talking and laughing in DD's room. We checked a few times - and realized that one girl brought her cell phone and they were watching videos/playing games/recording videos with each other.

We strongly believe 9 is too young for a cell phone, and it seems most other parents agree, as there was only 1 there. Even when our children do get phones/ipods/whatever, they're not going to be allowed to have them at night in their rooms.

So what can you do? Would you feel comfortable telling another child no cell phone in the room? Or to turn it off? At 11:30 pm I told her to put it down on the night stand and she quickly complied - but at some point she grabbed it again, and I heard her say she listened to music to fall asleep.

Do you talk to other parents and tell them you're going to insist on no devices after a reasonable time (like 11 pm)? WWYD?
Anonymous
Wow, you sound worked up.

Anonymous
From now on, tell the kids at the sleepover what your house rules are: no electronics, no cell phones after XX hours, turn in your cell phones to me at 9 PM, etc.

But tell them before they agree to the sleepover so they can decline the invitation if they don't agree with it.

It is likely in 1-3 years most of your daughters peers will have cell phones. My girl is 10 and all her friends have one.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Wow, you sound worked up.



Ha! Tired maybe (they were up til 2, then awake again at 7 am).
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:From now on, tell the kids at the sleepover what your house rules are: no electronics, no cell phones after XX hours, turn in your cell phones to me at 9 PM, etc.

But tell them before they agree to the sleepover so they can decline the invitation if they don't agree with it.

It is likely in 1-3 years most of your daughters peers will have cell phones. My girl is 10 and all her friends have one.


This. But honestly I'd be much more lax for sleepovers, which are only occasional.
Anonymous
My son has 1 friend who is only allowed to sleep over if I took electronics at 11 pm.

The kids with snapchat/ovvo until 2anish otherwise.

I did it, I don't care either way.
Anonymous
I would have no issue with you taking it and putting it in your room as long as someone would answer it. Or, you have a home phone for contact/emergencies as cell phones are not always reliable (our cell does not work well in our house). 9 is young but the cost may be minimal. If kids are being dropped off that young, then I support them if there is a need.
Anonymous
My son is 10 and his friends bring over electronics to sleepovers. They plan games and watch Minecraft/video game videos. I make them (including my son who has a DS and my old phone) give me their electronics around 11pm when they get ready for bed. I didn't use to do this and one night last year, I found my son's friend playing on his iPad at 2am when I got up to use the bathroom.
Anonymous
We have a no screen rule at 1 am for our kids when they have sleepovers.
Anonymous
My DS went to a sleepover and one kid (who is a jackass and needs more supervision) showed them "two girls, one cup" one his phone. So, yeah. DS was pretty traumatized by the whole situation.

We've taken phones away at sleepovers, but have then had parents tell us they want their child to keep their phone on them. Can't win.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My DS went to a sleepover and one kid (who is a jackass and needs more supervision) showed them "two girls, one cup" one his phone. So, yeah. DS was pretty traumatized by the whole situation.

We've taken phones away at sleepovers, but have then had parents tell us they want their child to keep their phone on them. Can't win.


Dare I ask wth is that?
Anonymous
I know we have sent my kids' cell phones with them to places they don't know well or situations they are unsure about. I want them to be able to reach out to us if something is not right and they want to come home. Sexual abuse can happen at sleepovers at the hands of parents or older siblings.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DS went to a sleepover and one kid (who is a jackass and needs more supervision) showed them "two girls, one cup" one his phone. So, yeah. DS was pretty traumatized by the whole situation.

We've taken phones away at sleepovers, but have then had parents tell us they want their child to keep their phone on them. Can't win.


Dare I ask wth is that?


You can google it but I don't recommend it. It's a gross video, not fun for adults either.
Anonymous
Pp here. Found the Wikipedia entry. No wonder your ds was traumatized. Yikes! Don't think I'd want that kid in my house again.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I know we have sent my kids' cell phones with them to places they don't know well or situations they are unsure about. I want them to be able to reach out to us if something is not right and they want to come home. Sexual abuse can happen at sleepovers at the hands of parents or older siblings.


If I was that worried about the family I would not send my kid there in the first place. There is a much higher chance of the kids watching inappropriate content on an iPhone or iPad in my opinion.
I would absolutely say "no phones past 9 pm" and enforce it just like any other house rule. The last thing you want is sexting or some other nonsense going on under your roof
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