Cousin won't come to my wedding because it's a "sin"
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Anonymous
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My cousin is engaged and so am I. She is very conservative, religious, and is openly against same sex marriage.
I asked her if she would still attend my wedding to my partner. I am respecting her loving and committed relationship and I was hoping she could do the same for me. She said she could not attend because it goes against her beliefs. What would you do? I don't want to create any family drama but going to her wedding when she refuses to go to mine makes me feel sick. |
Anonymous
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Would you attend with your partner and would that bother her? Are you and your partner BOTH invited to her wedding?
I wouldn't make a big deal about her not attending yours. |
Anonymous
| She doesn't go to yours, and you don't go to hers. Problem solved. No drama. You just don't go. |
Anonymous
Don't let it ruin your happy day. I know it's hard OP but it's her loss. And hey, more cake for you. 
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Anonymous
+ 1 |
Anonymous
| One monkey don't stop no show. |
Anonymous
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Don't make it family drama. If you do not feel comfortable attending her wedding, then decline and send a gift. It isn't about spite (is it?), but not wanting to attend an event where you feel disrespected. Is your fiancée invited?
Honestly, people in your family will know what's what. Don't gossip or bitch to other family members (many of whom will feel caught in the middle). Just concentrate on your own marriage. Sorry this kind of crap is still happening. But you can't change everyone overnight. |
Anonymous
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Did she invite your partner to her wedding? If so, I would go. If not, I wouldn't.
But I agree with the PP: there need be no drama if you don't go to your cousin's wedding. You just don't go. If people ask why you won't/didn't go, you say that unfortunately you were not able to go. And then you just keep repeating that. "Unfortunately, we were not able to go." "Unfortunately, we were not able to go." "Unfortunately, we were not able to go." until people stop asking. As for her not coming to your wedding -- well, if she doesn't, then she doesn't. No drama necessary there either. |
Anonymous
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I'm sorry she's ridiculous. I have many similar cousins who did the same to me, except they couldn't even be bothered rsvp / have a conversation about it. Their issue was that I was an old maid\whore for living with my boyfriend before we got engaged/married. I wouldn't go, it seems like it would be hard for you and she's not deserving of respect and support she herself is unwilling to give. Our extended fAmily isn't all that close, emotionally or geographically, so it may be easier for me to brush it off than you. Regardless, congratulations to you! Don't let anyone steal your joy
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Anonymous
| Think of the money it would save you if you didn't go!! |
Anonymous
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Seriously? Are you a troll? What answer did you expect her to give?
I have relations that won't a attend a same-sex wedding b/c one of the participants were previously divorced. One less person to pay for. Move on and enjoy the people who come celebrate your day. |
Anonymous
No, do not send a gift. |
Anonymous
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Thanks for all the supportive replies!
I think I knew the answer all along. I will decline and keep my thoughts to myself. After all, I have so many family members who have been awesome & supportive. You're right -- more cake for me! |
Anonymous
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Suck it up and go to her wedding with your partner. Have long slow dances on the dance floor. Don't be too obnoxious with the PDA but you can photo bomb a few shots with the happy couple.
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Anonymous
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Congratulations, OP. I wouldn't have expected her to come, and would have worried about coming to hers - asking myself if she really wanted me there, and whether I could bring my partner, and whether I should just politely decline to save everybody's feelings. |