Why is redshirting so rare if it's so advantageous?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m redshirting my July daughter

Ditto. She's 4 and my youngest child and she's not happy about that. She's always the youngest in the class too and she's more immature. Another year of childhood seems like a great gift to give her.

She isn't less mature. You are not comparing her to her actual peers and kids a year younger. You are doing it for her, not you. You aren't giving her an extra year of childhood. You are taking away a year of being an adult and forcing them to continue being a child.

Meh I'd rather my kid enter adulthood mature, ready for the next step, and with confidence than launching them too soon. I'll take my chances with the gift of time rather than roll the dice and find out that it would be an uphill battle and struggle by forcing them before they were ready because of an arbitrary cutoff. You only get one chance to get it right. I know people who regret sending the kids on time when they were young and immature, I don't know anyone who regrets redshirting. It's not robbing them of a year of adulthood, it's making sure they are as ready and a prepared as they can be to get the most out of their education. It's not a race.

Same here. I bet if you looked at everyone who ever dropped out of college or took longer than 4 years to graduate, you'd see that the vast majority started before they were 18.

This is pure conjecture to serve your made-up narrative. My kid is starting college at 17 and does not want a gap year. Same with several friends who just turned 18. A friend's son went to college at 17, is a few years out and is now a successful business owner. On the other hand, we know several redshirted kids who are taking gap years and one is going to a technical school (a very good one).

I worried about my kid being behind in 3rd grade, and his teacher said she had no idea he was younger. He also had friends, two who were BFFs for awhile, who were 18 months older than him -- no biggie for the parents worrying about that. Some redshirted kids definitely have an advantage in HS sports. There's a sophomore who is huge because he should be a junior. But, he's bigger than both parents (how would you know this would happen at 5), and really is not a smart guy (so I can see why he was held back). OP, just do what feels best and stop obsessing. You cannot predict how it will turn out. We never talked about redshirting either way with my 17 yo, but in junior high he said out of the blue, "thanks for believing I was smart enough to start on time." Kids become aware of ages when there are birthday parties. Could a kid say the opposite that they were grateful to have the time. Probably. We just can't predict the future when our kids are 4/5.

DCUMs antiredshirters are so weird. It's fascinating.

I am fascinating and weird, but you are reading with goggles. I'm not antiredshirt. I literally do not care, but you didn't call out the pp before making unsubstantiated claims. I pointed out anecdotally that it had no basis, which is all we have for that stupid claim. I said that my kid had no problem with being friends with older kids, which many antiredshirters worry about. I did say that the one kid is not smart, but he does have an advantage now in HS, so perhaps all is well and good.

Should I say the same about you as proredshirter, which you must be if you're calling me an antiredshirter.

Calm down Tracy Flick.

As you don't seem to know the basics, the way to respond to an unsubstantiated general claim is with data. Not with some weird af anecdote that comes across as socially stunted.

I didn't call out the other lady because she made up some claim but it didn't get weirdly personal. That is the difference here. DCUMs antiredshirts are largely incapable of statistics, so I get it because I've seen this pattern over and over again, but it still fascinates me.

I didn't redshirt by the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because caring for children is a nightmare and expensive. Parents send their kids as soon as they can.

Why do people on DCUM feel this way? In real life, I don't know anyone who finds raising their children to be a "nightmare". Challenging? Yes, of course, but people seek out and enjoy challenging things all the time.

I agree! All the people I know in other parts of the country had kids because they wanted kids, myself included, whereas in DC it's a "status quota," being able to afford private school and nannies.

[Anonymous]

Re: Why is redshirting so rare if it's so advantageous?

Most kids are normal and NT and they do not need to be redshirted. Therefore it is rare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m redshirting my July daughter

Ditto. She's 4 and my youngest child and she's not happy about that. She's always the youngest in the class too and she's more immature. Another year of childhood seems like a great gift to give her.

She isn't less mature. You are not comparing her to her actual peers and kids a year younger. You are doing it for her, not you. You aren't giving her an extra year of childhood. You are taking away a year of being an adult and forcing them to continue being a child.

Meh I'd rather my kid enter adulthood mature, ready for the next step, and with confidence than launching them too soon. I'll take my chances with the gift of time rather than roll the dice and find out that it would be an uphill battle and struggle by forcing them before they were ready because of an arbitrary cutoff. You only get one chance to get it right. I know people who regret sending the kids on time when they were young and immature, I don't know anyone who regrets redshirting. It's not robbing them of a year of adulthood, it's making sure they are as ready and a prepared as they can be to get the most out of their education. It's not a race.

Same here. I bet if you looked at everyone who ever dropped out of college or took longer than 4 years to graduate, you'd see that the vast majority started before they were 18.

This is pure conjecture to serve your made-up narrative. My kid is starting college at 17 and does not want a gap year. Same with several friends who just turned 18. A friend's son went to college at 17, is a few years out and is now a successful business owner. On the other hand, we know several redshirted kids who are taking gap years and one is going to a technical school (a very good one).

I worried about my kid being behind in 3rd grade, and his teacher said she had no idea he was younger. He also had friends, two who were BFFs for awhile, who were 18 months older than him -- no biggie for the parents worrying about that. Some redshirted kids definitely have an advantage in HS sports. There's a sophomore who is huge because he should be a junior. But, he's bigger than both parents (how would you know this would happen at 5), and really is not a smart guy (so I can see why he was held back). OP, just do what feels best and stop obsessing. You cannot predict how it will turn out. We never talked about redshirting either way with my 17 yo, but in junior high he said out of the blue, "thanks for believing I was smart enough to start on time." Kids become aware of ages when there are birthday parties. Could a kid say the opposite that they were grateful to have the time. Probably. We just can't predict the future when our kids are 4/5.

DCUMs antiredshirters are so weird. It's fascinating.

Redshirted kids are just so dumb. That's why people are so up in arms about these kids

That is definitely the statement of a sane, normal person who is not at a weird. 👍

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, it sounds like you held your kid back and are feeling sensitive about it. I'm leaving the thread and wish you well. But, I will laugh all day about my kid being doomed, dumb, and disabled. Oh, and a toxic male.

Bye! Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, it sounds like you held your kid back and are feeling sensitive about it. I'm leaving the thread and wish you well. But, I will laugh all day about my kid being doomed, dumb, and disabled. Oh, and a toxic male.

Guess I see where the kid gets it. Yikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Natural law poster is just really, really slow. I don't think she is a troll, but she's definitely dim. I think she genuinely believes that because she thinks grades should be by calendar year, all fall birthdays are redshirted. Weird af.

The reality is that cutoffs in the DMV are Sept 1 and Oct 1. this poster needs to deal with actual reality -- but they never will.

FCPS is Sept. 30....

sorry that's what i meant by Oct 1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m redshirting my July daughter

Ditto. She's 4 and my youngest child and she's not happy about that. She's always the youngest in the class too and she's more immature. Another year of childhood seems like a great gift to give her.

She isn't less mature. You are not comparing her to her actual peers and kids a year younger. You are doing it for her, not you. You aren't giving her an extra year of childhood. You are taking away a year of being an adult and forcing them to continue being a child.

Meh I'd rather my kid enter adulthood mature, ready for the next step, and with confidence than launching them too soon. I'll take my chances with the gift of time rather than roll the dice and find out that it would be an uphill battle and struggle by forcing them before they were ready because of an arbitrary cutoff. You only get one chance to get it right. I know people who regret sending the kids on time when they were young and immature, I don't know anyone who regrets redshirting. It's not robbing them of a year of adulthood, it's making sure they are as ready and a prepared as they can be to get the most out of their education. It's not a race.

Same here. I bet if you looked at everyone who ever dropped out of college or took longer than 4 years to graduate, you'd see that the vast majority started before they were 18.

This is pure conjecture to serve your made-up narrative. My kid is starting college at 17 and does not want a gap year. Same with several friends who just turned 18. A friend's son went to college at 17, is a few years out and is now a successful business owner. On the other hand, we know several redshirted kids who are taking gap years and one is going to a technical school (a very good one).

I worried about my kid being behind in 3rd grade, and his teacher said she had no idea he was younger. He also had friends, two who were BFFs for awhile, who were 18 months older than him -- no biggie for the parents worrying about that. Some redshirted kids definitely have an advantage in HS sports. There's a sophomore who is huge because he should be a junior. But, he's bigger than both parents (how would you know this would happen at 5), and really is not a smart guy (so I can see why he was held back). OP, just do what feels best and stop obsessing. You cannot predict how it will turn out. We never talked about redshirting either way with my 17 yo, but in junior high he said out of the blue, "thanks for believing I was smart enough to start on time." Kids become aware of ages when there are birthday parties. Could a kid say the opposite that they were grateful to have the time. Probably. We just can't predict the future when our kids are 4/5.

Lol. Of all the things that didn’t happen, this is definitely the most recent. Along with “thanks for breastfeeding me” and “thanks for raising me in a single-family home with a yard in a school district rated 7 or better by greatschools.org.”

If your kid did actually say that -- its because you made your feelings clear on redshirting. He clearly gets this from you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Natural law poster is just really, really slow. I don't think she is a troll, but she's definitely dim. I think she genuinely believes that because she thinks grades should be by calendar year, all fall birthdays are redshirted. Weird af.

The reality is that cutoffs in the DMV are Sept 1 and Oct 1. this poster needs to deal with actual reality -- but they never will.

Some school systems have an early entry test in period and flexibility.

I can't understand parents who get their kids tested to start early. Why do they purposely want to put their child at a disadvantage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At that point they will green-shirt.

I can't understand parents who green-shirt. It's almost as if they want their kid to do less well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m redshirting my July daughter

Ditto. She's 4 and my youngest child and she's not happy about that. She's always the youngest in the class too and she's more immature. Another year of childhood seems like a great gift to give her.

She isn't less mature. You are not comparing her to her actual peers and kids a year younger. You are doing it for her, not you. You aren't giving her an extra year of childhood. You are taking away a year of being an adult and forcing them to continue being a child.

Meh I'd rather my kid enter adulthood mature, ready for the next step, and with confidence than launching them too soon. I'll take my chances with the gift of time rather than roll the dice and find out that it would be an uphill battle and struggle by forcing them before they were ready because of an arbitrary cutoff. You only get one chance to get it right. I know people who regret sending the kids on time when they were young and immature, I don't know anyone who regrets redshirting. It's not robbing them of a year of adulthood, it's making sure they are as ready and a prepared as they can be to get the most out of their education. It's not a race.

Same here. I bet if you looked at everyone who ever dropped out of college or took longer than 4 years to graduate, you'd see that the vast majority started before they were 18.

This is pure conjecture to serve your made-up narrative. My kid is starting college at 17 and does not want a gap year. Same with several friends who just turned 18. A friend's son went to college at 17, is a few years out and is now a successful business owner. On the other hand, we know several redshirted kids who are taking gap years and one is going to a technical school (a very good one).

I worried about my kid being behind in 3rd grade, and his teacher said she had no idea he was younger. He also had friends, two who were BFFs for awhile, who were 18 months older than him -- no biggie for the parents worrying about that. Some redshirted kids definitely have an advantage in HS sports. There's a sophomore who is huge because he should be a junior. But, he's bigger than both parents (how would you know this would happen at 5), and really is not a smart guy (so I can see why he was held back). OP, just do what feels best and stop obsessing. You cannot predict how it will turn out. We never talked about redshirting either way with my 17 yo, but in junior high he said out of the blue, "thanks for believing I was smart enough to start on time." Kids become aware of ages when there are birthday parties. Could a kid say the opposite that they were grateful to have the time. Probably. We just can't predict the future when our kids are 4/5.

DCUMs antiredshirters are so weird. It's fascinating.

Redshirted kids are just so dumb. That's why people are so up in arms about these kids

You do realize that the decision to redshirt is up to the parents, not their child. I know that if it had been up to me, I would've started school on time. It's really not fair to label a child as "dumb" for a decision they had no control over. If I had been raised by your parents, I probably wouldn't have been redshirted, and if you had been raised by my parents, you probably would have been redshirted. Would you feel it was fair of me to call you "dumb" in that case?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m redshirting my July daughter

Ditto. She's 4 and my youngest child and she's not happy about that. She's always the youngest in the class too and she's more immature. Another year of childhood seems like a great gift to give her.

She isn't less mature. You are not comparing her to her actual peers and kids a year younger. You are doing it for her, not you. You aren't giving her an extra year of childhood. You are taking away a year of being an adult and forcing them to continue being a child.

Meh I'd rather my kid enter adulthood mature, ready for the next step, and with confidence than launching them too soon. I'll take my chances with the gift of time rather than roll the dice and find out that it would be an uphill battle and struggle by forcing them before they were ready because of an arbitrary cutoff. You only get one chance to get it right. I know people who regret sending the kids on time when they were young and immature, I don't know anyone who regrets redshirting. It's not robbing them of a year of adulthood, it's making sure they are as ready and a prepared as they can be to get the most out of their education. It's not a race.

Same here. I bet if you looked at everyone who ever dropped out of college or took longer than 4 years to graduate, you'd see that the vast majority started before they were 18.

This is pure conjecture to serve your made-up narrative. My kid is starting college at 17 and does not want a gap year. Same with several friends who just turned 18. A friend's son went to college at 17, is a few years out and is now a successful business owner. On the other hand, we know several redshirted kids who are taking gap years and one is going to a technical school (a very good one).

I worried about my kid being behind in 3rd grade, and his teacher said she had no idea he was younger. He also had friends, two who were BFFs for awhile, who were 18 months older than him -- no biggie for the parents worrying about that. Some redshirted kids definitely have an advantage in HS sports. There's a sophomore who is huge because he should be a junior. But, he's bigger than both parents (how would you know this would happen at 5), and really is not a smart guy (so I can see why he was held back). OP, just do what feels best and stop obsessing. You cannot predict how it will turn out. We never talked about redshirting either way with my 17 yo, but in junior high he said out of the blue, "thanks for believing I was smart enough to start on time." Kids become aware of ages when there are birthday parties. Could a kid say the opposite that they were grateful to have the time. Probably. We just can't predict the future when our kids are 4/5.

DCUMs antiredshirters are so weird. It's fascinating.

Redshirted kids are just so dumb. That's why people are so up in arms about these kids

You do realize that the decision to redshirt is up to the parents, not their child. I know that if it had been up to me, I would've started school on time. It's really not fair to label a child as "dumb" for a decision they had no control over. If I had been raised by your parents, I probably wouldn't have been redshirted, and if you had been raised by my parents, you probably would have been redshirted. Would you feel it was fair of me to call you "dumb" in that case?

If you are responding to me, the "dumb" poster I'm being sarcastic, hence the eye roll. The anti-redshirters simultaneously think redshirted kids are dumb and slow yet their parents are cheating, giving them an unfair advantage, and gaming the system. Which makes me wonder why they are so threatened by kids they think so little of? If they honestly believed that, why wouldn't they have more empathy and compassion for the kids and parents? It's clear they are just being dishonest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m redshirting my July daughter

Ditto. She's 4 and my youngest child and she's not happy about that. She's always the youngest in the class too and she's more immature. Another year of childhood seems like a great gift to give her.

She isn't less mature. You are not comparing her to her actual peers and kids a year younger. You are doing it for her, not you. You aren't giving her an extra year of childhood. You are taking away a year of being an adult and forcing them to continue being a child.

It's not robbing them of a year of adulthood, it's making sure they are as ready and a prepared as they can be to get the most out of their education. It's not a race.

I agree that education isn't a race. You know how you sometimes hear about a 12-or-13-year-old heading off to college? It's the parents of those kids who view education as a race, not the parents of the kids starting college a few weeks shy of their 18th birthdays.

So, if I have a late August vs. late September child/birthday, what exactly is the difference between a month? You may be robbing them of a year of adulthood by forcing them to be kids an extra year when they are 18/adults.

Most people given the choice would likely prefer another year of being a carefree child.

Yes, but they should still have the choice to enter adulthood sooner if that's what they want. Kids who aren't redshirted are more likely to have both options open to them than kids who are redshirted. If a 17-year-old graduating from high school doesn't feel ready for college and doesn't want to rush into adulthood, they can just take a gap year. If, however, a 17-year-old finishing 11th grade is really sick of high school, feels ready for college, and is in a hurry to be an adult, then they don't really have any other choice but to stick out that last year of high school.

What about the 17 year old who struggled through school and was constantly playing catch up? When did he get the choice to delay kindergarten entry until he was as mature as his peers?

That's a separate issue. I was responding to what you about that kid's childhood being cut short. I was challenging the idea that a kid who's rushed into school doesn't have to rush into adulthood. If you consider college to be part of one's childhood, then a gap year will allow that kid to be a child a year longer since they'll finish college a year later, and not have to enter adulthood until a year later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At that point they will green-shirt.

I can't understand parents who green-shirt. It's almost as if they want their kid to do less well.

Not if the kid is advanced socially, academically, emotionally, mentally and physically. If you have an anxious kid who is struggling with normal social interactions, academics, physical dexterity, mental acuity etc it makes sense to redshirt them. Similarly if you have a high performing, confident, high IQ and EQ kids in a stable and happy family then they need to be green-shirted so that they can get the instruction and socialization for which they are ready.

I have never seen a green-shirted kid do poorly as most of them are high achievers.

The red-shirted kids on the other hand are perpetually behind, insecure and odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people say that it gives the child one less year to work and earn money - it leaves them at a disadvantage.

But someone who does better in school will go to a more prestigious university and get a higher-paying job. In the long-run, someone who starts a prestigious career at 22 is going to be much better off financially than someone who starts a mediocre career at 21.

.

Do they really do better in school? They probably do better in elementary school.

Not even that. These kids cannot handle school. They need to be with younger kids so that they can keep up. They are neither doing better in school not going to a more prestigious university and getting a higher-paying job.