Why are so many women here so angry with / resentful toward women who stay home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a super privileged point of view from both sides of this argument--the means to stay at home is a luxury, and the means to pursue a meaningful-to-you career is a luxury.

Most working class women I know would love to have the luxury to be in this fight.

While the DCUM WOHMs yammer on about glass ceilings and feminism, women working blue collar and labor and service jobs are getting left behind.

While the DCUM SAHMs feely compelled justify their existence, women working blue collar and labor and service jobs are getting left behind.

Everybody here could seriously use some perspective.

Bingo.

I have no issue with women choosing either to WOHM, WAH, be SAHMs...whatever works for your family. But the people on this thread bragging about their situations...Gross. If you have the luxury to make these choices, count your blessings, recognize your privilege and please stop bragging about it on here.

+1,000

And the people bragging aren't telling the real story. If things were so great why are you on a website tell folks how great things are for you? They never tell all the stories going on in their house and it ain't all flowers and puppies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the daily delight of mansplaining. I am the lone token female in a sea of men.

We need more females. Many days it's a stampede of testosterone. Yes, I can handle simple division, but let's waste 10 minutes while you explain division.

It gets really lonely as you climb the ladder. Fewer women. I'm angry because there are so many capable women who gave up careers.

If you haven't been here, trust me, we are fighting a gender battle.

I agree with this 100%. All the SAHMs who claim we're all so jealous that they run the PTA and work out - actually, our frustration with your choices runs much deeper than that.

Why do you think you get to choose other people's values so that they align with yours and make your life more convenient? Are you hearing yourself?

Some of us have a greater view of the world than what's within our four walls. No one's choosing values - we're asking you to acknowledge that your choices affect other women who choose to stay in the workplace and remain professionally valuable / viable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm really amazed at all the people with SN kids on here. I see it so often that if I lived only in DCUM land I'd think 25% of newborns were born with mental deficiencies.

When you all say SN - what do you mean? Your kid is a brat? They have heart defects? They have Aspergers? What???

Obviously this poster isn't saying it kindly, but I see her point. It seems like half the SAHMs out there have kids with high / special needs that make working full-time out of the home impossible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the daily delight of mansplaining. I am the lone token female in a sea of men.

We need more females. Many days it's a stampede of testosterone. Yes, I can handle simple division, but let's waste 10 minutes while you explain division.

It gets really lonely as you climb the ladder. Fewer women. I'm angry because there are so many capable women who gave up careers.

If you haven't been here, trust me, we are fighting a gender battle.

I agree with this 100%. All the SAHMs who claim we're all so jealous that they run the PTA and work out - actually, our frustration with your choices runs much deeper than that.

Let me get this straight - you are angry at women who made different choices than you, because you are now one of the few in a male-dominated field? Have you considered that perhaps many other women don't share your interest in "climbing the ladder" and whatever else it is you do? You expect them to dedicate their lives to a career that does not excite them just so that you don't have to feel "lonely"? You are free to choose a different career path if you aren't happy. You don't get to dictate what other people do for a living.

Pray tell, what are your passions?

I am not PP, but I'll gladly tell you about my passions that have absolutely nothing to do with working in a male dominated field.

I love to study nutrition, cook, and garden. I enjoy making sure everyone in my family is as healthy as possible in a world in which that this is increasingly challenging and that is murked up with garbage pseudo-science.

I love to manage my home, making sure it is always well stocked as inexpensively as possible and that all of the people in it are well equipped. I have very effective and efficient processes around everything related to home maintenance, and I actually straight up take pleasure in that.

I love to be emotionally present to the people I care about, not only in my home but also outside of it. In my view it is an art and valuable skill to be make people feel seen and understood. People who are seen and understood feel good, and they put good things in the world.

Oh and I actually do work, go figure. I am also passionate about design, and I get paid well to do it. On my terms, since I freelance.

The world is better because I am in it, even if I'll never have a "big" job. I don't want one. It would undermine not enhance the passions I am here to share.

And you are so modest!

Honestly, I think the world is worse off with PP in it. Bwahahaha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the daily delight of mansplaining. I am the lone token female in a sea of men.

We need more females. Many days it's a stampede of testosterone. Yes, I can handle simple division, but let's waste 10 minutes while you explain division.

It gets really lonely as you climb the ladder. Fewer women. I'm angry because there are so many capable women who gave up careers.

If you haven't been here, trust me, we are fighting a gender battle.

I agree with this 100%. All the SAHMs who claim we're all so jealous that they run the PTA and work out - actually, our frustration with your choices runs much deeper than that.

Why do you think you get to choose other people's values so that they align with yours and make your life more convenient? Are you hearing yourself?

Some of us have a greater view of the world than what's within our four walls. No one's choosing values - we're asking you to acknowledge that your choices affect other women who choose to stay in the workplace and remain professionally valuable / viable.

+1

No one operates in a vacuum.

SAHMs choices immediately impact themselves and their families but more broadly have a ripple affect among their communities and societies.

Because so many women even today choose to SAH the feminist movement has been pushed back. Who cares about gender parity, equitable pay, women's access to economic opportunity or self sufficiency if so many people who do not believe in that can automatically fall back into traditional gender roles.

Men do not have to put up with assertive ambitious women who demand equality and respect because they can happily to to a bar and find a girl who just wants to be a home maker and let him be. Think Donald and Melania. Why would he listen to someone like Megan Kelly when he has an army of women like Melania who indulge and encourage him because their survival depends on his moods.

Workplaces do not have to move to break glass ceilings, pay women fairly or even invest in them because women opt out in droves or not join at all in anticipation of childrearing and home making. The corporate world, government, science, arts remain male dominated.

Little girls who grow up watching their mom in her Lululemons and Jeep Cherokee paid for by her dad, watch this and subconsciously emulate this model when they grow up. It is the wealthy white women and their adherence to traditional gender roles that are putting all the rest of us and our feminist movements at risk.





,men like Donald Trump become who they are. The Donald doesn't need to listen to Megan Kelly telling him he's rude when he has women like Melania and Maria telling him he's so handsome and successful. He can even afford to be such a brute because he lives in a delusional world where women like you are catering to his every whim because their survival depends on him.

SAHMs make life hard for those of us who want to work because you provide an option

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the daily delight of mansplaining. I am the lone token female in a sea of men.

We need more females. Many days it's a stampede of testosterone. Yes, I can handle simple division, but let's waste 10 minutes while you explain division.

It gets really lonely as you climb the ladder. Fewer women. I'm angry because there are so many capable women who gave up careers.

If you haven't been here, trust me, we are fighting a gender battle.

I agree with this 100%. All the SAHMs who claim we're all so jealous that they run the PTA and work out - actually, our frustration with your choices runs much deeper than that.

Why do you think you get to choose other people's values so that they align with yours and make your life more convenient? Are you hearing yourself?

I agree. I applaud you and your battle, but I put my family first. In our circumstances working would hurt our family, not help it. You have no idea of my circumstances.

I know this thread is crushing to women who SAH to take care of special needs kids, aging parents, retirees, etc. If you literally call women prostitutes who do right by their family, you have some serious issues. "your frustration with my choices" is awesome. I love it! Being frustrated about what, how, where or when others work, as long as their family is well cared for?

Maybe start worrying about yourself.

Well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really amazed at all the people with SN kids on here. I see it so often that if I lived only in DCUM land I'd think 25% of newborns were born with mental deficiencies.

When you all say SN - what do you mean? Your kid is a brat? They have heart defects? They have Aspergers? What???

Obviously this poster isn't saying it kindly, but I see her point. It seems like half the SAHMs out there have kids with high / special needs that make working full-time out of the home impossible.

What's that saying? Pretty on the outside, bone ugly on the inside. Obviously you and the poster are ugly through and through. It must be horrible to have all that anger. For heaven's sake, if you are that unhappy change your circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really amazed at all the people with SN kids on here. I see it so often that if I lived only in DCUM land I'd think 25% of newborns were born with mental deficiencies.

When you all say SN - what do you mean? Your kid is a brat? They have heart defects? They have Aspergers? What???

Obviously this poster isn't saying it kindly, but I see her point. It seems like half the SAHMs out there have kids with high / special needs that make working full-time out of the home impossible.

What's that saying? Pretty on the outside, bone ugly on the inside. Obviously you and the poster are ugly through and through. It must be horrible to have all that anger. For heaven's sake, if you are that unhappy change your circumstances.

Just clarifying her point. Of course there are all kinds of special needs that exist, some more severe than others. But it's clear that some - SOME - women use 'managing' that scenario as an excuse not to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the daily delight of mansplaining. I am the lone token female in a sea of men.

We need more females. Many days it's a stampede of testosterone. Yes, I can handle simple division, but let's waste 10 minutes while you explain division.

It gets really lonely as you climb the ladder. Fewer women. I'm angry because there are so many capable women who gave up careers.

If you haven't been here, trust me, we are fighting a gender battle.

I agree with this 100%. All the SAHMs who claim we're all so jealous that they run the PTA and work out - actually, our frustration with your choices runs much deeper than that.

Why do you think you get to choose other people's values so that they align with yours and make your life more convenient? Are you hearing yourself?

Some of us have a greater view of the world than what's within our four walls. No one's choosing values - we're asking you to acknowledge that your choices affect other women who choose to stay in the workplace and remain professionally valuable / viable.

+1

No one operates in a vacuum.

SAHMs choices immediately impact themselves and their families but more broadly have a ripple affect among their communities and societies.

Because so many women even today choose to SAH the feminist movement has been pushed back. Who cares about gender parity, equitable pay, women's access to economic opportunity or self sufficiency if so many people who do not believe in that can automatically fall back into traditional gender roles.

Men do not have to put up with assertive ambitious women who demand equality and respect because they can happily to to a bar and find a girl who just wants to be a home maker and let him be. Think Donald and Melania. Why would he listen to someone like Megan Kelly when he has an army of women like Melania who indulge and encourage him because their survival depends on his moods.

Workplaces do not have to move to break glass ceilings, pay women fairly or even invest in them because women opt out in droves or not join at all in anticipation of childrearing and home making. The corporate world, government, science, arts remain male dominated.

Little girls who grow up watching their mom in her Lululemons and Jeep Cherokee paid for by her dad, watch this and subconsciously emulate this model when they grow up. It is the wealthy white women and their adherence to traditional gender roles that are putting all the rest of us and our feminist movements at risk.





,men like Donald Trump become who they are. The Donald doesn't need to listen to Megan Kelly telling him he's rude when he has women like Melania and Maria telling him he's so handsome and successful. He can even afford to be such a brute because he lives in a delusional world where women like you are catering to his every whim because their survival depends on him.

SAHMs make life hard for those of us who want to work because you provide an option

Bull crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think now in our culture we have 2 kinds of women:

1. Feminists. These are the girls who grew up believing that traditional gender roles were arbitrary and socially enforced. They went to top colleges and professional programs. They are doctors and lawyers and did not quit their careers once the children came along. They work because they want to. They pursue their career and intellectual passions and enjoy the pay and intellectual parity it brings them with men.

2. Feminists by necessity. These are lower income women who partake in a feminist lifestyle because of necessity. Since the major cornerstone of feminism is the idea that women need to be self sufficient and have access to economic opportunity, they live that out every day. They earn a decent paycheck, they contribute to their mortgage and bills.

3. Anti-feminists. These girls were never truly raised to believe they can be whatever they wanted to be. For some reason, traditional gender norms were reinforced to them. They went to school, sure,but only because they had to. They even became doctors or lawyers because these days, thats just what some do. Work or study until you find a man to take care of you. They can be high income or low in come by for whatever reason they deeply believe that housework is women's work. The achievement here isn't to get a JD from Harvard. Its to land a man with a big wallet. That way they have their JD from Harvard AND a rich husband. They're usually very braggy about this.
U
Now, its good and fine if women want to be in category 3. Just, please don't call yourselves "feminists" too. Because, honestly, no, you're not a feminist. You are not financially independent or self sufficient and you partake in traditionally gender roles.

Good Lord. Between posts like this and the one a couple pages back mentioning the patriarchy, I'm inclined to imagine Emperor Patriarchy reading this forum and cackling "Good, good, feel the hate, let the Dark Side flow through you."

Whether a stay at home mom can be considered a feminist or not, a woman who views with contempt other women, who make other legitimate choices in life, is not someone to take seriously.

[Anonymous]

I'm currently enjoying a few days at home with my sick toddler. Being a SAHM for a few days is rewarding and fun. Going back to work will be rewarding and fun. Being home and going to work are both also kind of difficult and tedious!

I enjoy the good parts of every day, and do my best to get through the tough bits.

I don't resent anyone for their choices, or what life necessitates for them. How odd that anyone would care about someone else's choices or circumstances, other than to want to help someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the daily delight of mansplaining. I am the lone token female in a sea of men.

We need more females. Many days it's a stampede of testosterone. Yes, I can handle simple division, but let's waste 10 minutes while you explain division.

It gets really lonely as you climb the ladder. Fewer women. I'm angry because there are so many capable women who gave up careers.

If you haven't been here, trust me, we are fighting a gender battle.

I agree with this 100%. All the SAHMs who claim we're all so jealous that they run the PTA and work out - actually, our frustration with your choices runs much deeper than that.

Let me get this straight - you are angry at women who made different choices than you, because you are now one of the few in a male-dominated field? Have you considered that perhaps many other women don't share your interest in "climbing the ladder" and whatever else it is you do? You expect them to dedicate their lives to a career that does not excite them just so that you don't have to feel "lonely"? You are free to choose a different career path if you aren't happy. You don't get to dictate what other people do for a living.

Pray tell, what are your passions?

I am not PP, but I'll gladly tell you about my passions that have absolutely nothing to do with working in a male dominated field.

I love to study nutrition, cook, and garden. I enjoy making sure everyone in my family is as healthy as possible in a world in which that this is increasingly challenging and that is murked up with garbage pseudo-science.

I love to manage my home, making sure it is always well stocked as inexpensively as possible and that all of the people in it are well equipped. I have very effective and efficient processes around everything related to home maintenance, and I actually straight up take pleasure in that.

I love to be emotionally present to the people I care about, not only in my home but also outside of it. In my view it is an art and valuable skill to be make people feel seen and understood. People who are seen and understood feel good, and they put good things in the world.

Oh and I actually do work, go figure. I am also passionate about design, and I get paid well to do it. On my terms, since I freelance.

The world is better because I am in it, even if I'll never have a "big" job. I don't want one. It would undermine not enhance the passions I am here to share.

And you are so modest!

Yeah don't hold back lady, LOL. Actually I loved her post, gave me a great laugh today. Narcissus with sociopath traits are very interesting. For those that do not know Narcissistic personality disorder is a "mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism." Since we're sharing today, I thought I'd throw that in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the daily delight of mansplaining. I am the lone token female in a sea of men.

We need more females. Many days it's a stampede of testosterone. Yes, I can handle simple division, but let's waste 10 minutes while you explain division.

It gets really lonely as you climb the ladder. Fewer women. I'm angry because there are so many capable women who gave up careers.

If you haven't been here, trust me, we are fighting a gender battle.

I agree with this 100%. All the SAHMs who claim we're all so jealous that they run the PTA and work out - actually, our frustration with your choices runs much deeper than that.

Why do you think you get to choose other people's values so that they align with yours and make your life more convenient? Are you hearing yourself?

I agree. I applaud you and your battle, but I put my family first. In our circumstances working would hurt our family, not help it. You have no idea of my circumstances.

I know this thread is crushing to women who SAH to take care of special needs kids, aging parents, retirees, etc. If you literally call women prostitutes who do right by their family, you have some serious issues. "your frustration with my choices" is awesome. I love it! Being frustrated about what, how, where or when others work, as long as their family is well cared for?

Maybe start worrying about yourself.

Well said.

Doesn't sound like you're aware of your issues. I'm sure you had a straight face while typing that working women don't "put their families first." Keep on keeping on, moral compass LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with the first guy here. if the only kind of women who existed were the ones who insisted on working and demanded to be taken seriously, to keep their jobs, and to have the husband do half of the caretaking, then men would be forced to accept that that's just the way it is. what if there were no Melanias, just Katie Courics. The Donald wouldn't have the option of being the alpha male. Deal with real women or resign yourself to a life of singlehood. But now men have too many choices because you women give them to them.

You should go on the Politics board. I mean it's killing you "The Donald" won, but seriously give it up. And ask yourself why you're so intolerant. Clearly you are a unhappy individual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with the first guy here. if the only kind of women who existed were the ones who insisted on working and demanded to be taken seriously, to keep their jobs, and to have the husband do half of the caretaking, then men would be forced to accept that that's just the way it is. what if there were no Melanias, just Katie Courics. The Donald wouldn't have the option of being the alpha male. Deal with real women or resign yourself to a life of singlehood. But now men have too many choices because you women give them to them.

You should go on the Politics board. I mean it's killing you "The Donald" won, but seriously give it up. And ask yourself why you're so intolerant. Clearly you are a unhappy individual.

I'm not that PP, but the assertion that women who want equal relationships with the men in their life are "jealous" or "unhappy" is SO RIDICULOUS.