Why are so many women here so angry with / resentful toward women who stay home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have the daily delight of mansplaining. I am the lone token female in a sea of men.

We need more females. Many days it's a stampede of testosterone. Yes, I can handle simple division, but let's waste 10 minutes while you explain division.

It gets really lonely as you climb the ladder. Fewer women. I'm angry because there are so many capable women who gave up careers.

If you haven't been here, trust me, we are fighting a gender battle.

I hear you, lone voice.

One of my jobs was like that.

May I ask if you would like to have children? Maybe you have and have managed not to miss a step in the career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of guys want a woman to split the bills with - it doesn't mean they are going to do any laundry.
I'm sure you will be able to find a man that is attracted to you and to your career despite the fact that there are women all over the world who are taller than you, thinner than you, prettier than you, more interested in doing laundry than you, have a better job than you, have a worse job than you, are open to more sexual activities than you ...
Let's not blame SAHM's for your lack of marriage prospects please. Enough is enough.
And just to be clear, you are probably going to have to do laundry.

I never really thought about it like that until I talked to some young guys at work who said 'they could only afford to move/live in city on two salaries'. It makes sense. Also makes sense why they dip out to Manassas or Woodbridge when the kids come. They can no longer depend on the second salary.

[Anonymous]

I disagree with the first guy here. if the only kind of women who existed were the ones who insisted on working and demanded to be taken seriously, to keep their jobs, and to have the husband do half of the caretaking, then men would be forced to accept that that's just the way it is. what if there were no Melanias, just Katie Courics. The Donald wouldn't have the option of being the alpha male. Deal with real women or resign yourself to a life of singlehood. But now men have too many choices because you women give them to them.

[Anonymous]

I stay home because I have a high needs child - just short of special needs - and a husband with a high income. When the needs became apparent, we sat down and took note of our options. It was clear then that our son would need a great deal of support in order to do well. It was equally apparent by then that DH was on the path to earn 6 figures+ over time. My salary was going to be very good as well but would never reach 6 figures because of the career that I was in. We made a decision that I would stay home and double down on helping our son. I think I look lazy to most people. I am very well educated and I have stayed home the last 10 years. My DH has made it into that 6 figure+ range. Our son has had numerous issues, some of them have been personally tragic to him. His issues are not ones that are apparent to school or peers. So thats a good thing but his life is not easy by any means. By transference, that means that our life isn't easy even though it looks plentiful to the outside eye. I will throw out that I think a decent number of SAHM's are like myself. There are things going on that can't be easily talked about .. and yes... the DH's earn a lot. So it makes it possible to for us to stay home and manage the mess.

[Anonymous]

I'm really amazed at all the people with SN kids on here. I see it so often that if I lived only in DCUM land I'd think 25% of newborns were born with mental deficiencies.

When you all say SN - what do you mean? Your kid is a brat? They have heart defects? They have Aspergers? What???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm really amazed at all the people with SN kids on here. I see it so often that if I lived only in DCUM land I'd think 25% of newborns were born with mental deficiencies.

When you all say SN - what do you mean? Your kid is a brat? They have heart defects? They have Aspergers? What???

Just don't want my kid to turn out like yours did

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm really amazed at all the people with SN kids on here. I see it so often that if I lived only in DCUM land I'd think 25% of newborns were born with mental deficiencies.

When you all say SN - what do you mean? Your kid is a brat? They have heart defects? They have Aspergers? What???

Jesus Christ.

Jeff, can you lock this thread now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really amazed at all the people with SN kids on here. I see it so often that if I lived only in DCUM land I'd think 25% of newborns were born with mental deficiencies.

When you all say SN - what do you mean? Your kid is a brat? They have heart defects? They have Aspergers? What???

Jesus Christ.

Jeff, can you lock this thread now?

It's a completely vague term PP, I don't know what you're so upset about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm really amazed at all the people with SN kids on here. I see it so often that if I lived only in DCUM land I'd think 25% of newborns were born with mental deficiencies.

When you all say SN - what do you mean? Your kid is a brat? They have heart defects? They have Aspergers? What???

I hope your children let you die on the see of a road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the daily delight of mansplaining. I am the lone token female in a sea of men.

We need more females. Many days it's a stampede of testosterone. Yes, I can handle simple division, but let's waste 10 minutes while you explain division.

It gets really lonely as you climb the ladder. Fewer women. I'm angry because there are so many capable women who gave up careers.

If you haven't been here, trust me, we are fighting a gender battle.

I agree with this 100%. All the SAHMs who claim we're all so jealous that they run the PTA and work out - actually, our frustration with your choices runs much deeper than that.

Let me get this straight - you are angry at women who made different choices than you, because you are now one of the few in a male-dominated field? Have you considered that perhaps many other women don't share your interest in "climbing the ladder" and whatever else it is you do? You expect them to dedicate their lives to a career that does not excite them just so that you don't have to feel "lonely"? You are free to choose a different career path if you aren't happy. You don't get to dictate what other people do for a living.

Pray tell, what are your passions?

I am not PP, but I'll gladly tell you about my passions that have absolutely nothing to do with working in a male dominated field.

I love to study nutrition, cook, and garden. I enjoy making sure everyone in my family is as healthy as possible in a world in which that this is increasingly challenging and that is murked up with garbage pseudo-science.

I love to manage my home, making sure it is always well stocked as inexpensively as possible and that all of the people in it are well equipped. I have very effective and efficient processes around everything related to home maintenance, and I actually straight up take pleasure in that.

I love to be emotionally present to the people I care about, not only in my home but also outside of it. In my view it is an art and valuable skill to be make people feel seen and understood. People who are seen and understood feel good, and they put good things in the world.

Oh and I actually do work, go figure. I am also passionate about design, and I get paid well to do it. On my terms, since I freelance.

The world is better because I am in it, even if I'll never have a "big" job. I don't want one. It would undermine not enhance the passions I am here to share.

And you are so modest!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really amazed at all the people with SN kids on here. I see it so often that if I lived only in DCUM land I'd think 25% of newborns were born with mental deficiencies.

When you all say SN - what do you mean? Your kid is a brat? They have heart defects? They have Aspergers? What???

I hope your children let you die on the see of a road.

Both of you are awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a super privileged point of view from both sides of this argument--the means to stay at home is a luxury, and the means to pursue a meaningful-to-you career is a luxury.

Most working class women I know would love to have the luxury to be in this fight.

While the DCUM WOHMs yammer on about glass ceilings and feminism, women working blue collar and labor and service jobs are getting left behind.

While the DCUM SAHMs feely compelled justify their existence, women working blue collar and labor and service jobs are getting left behind.

Everybody here could seriously use some perspective.

Bingo.

I have no issue with women choosing either to WOHM, WAH, be SAHMs...whatever works for your family. But the people on this thread bragging about their situations...Gross. If you have the luxury to make these choices, count your blessings, recognize your privilege and please stop bragging about it on here.

[Anonymous]

I have absolutely no problems with SAHM. I grew up in a home with a SAHM and I know that I turned out the way I did cause she was home. I am not married, no kids and great job. My mom did have issues later, divorced had to find job, little education so low paying job. Now in her 80's she lives on SS and me and siblings help out the best we can financially. So to the SAHM I say, do it but make sure you are covered if something goes south in the future. Big income husband with good lawyer can leave you penniless with minimal child support if it is assumed you can work. Stash a little away for a rainy day. If it never comes spending on something fun. Just take care that you are covered under ALL circumstances

[Anonymous]

I think now in our culture we have 2 kinds of women:

1. Feminists. These are the girls who grew up believing that traditional gender roles were arbitrary and socially enforced. They went to top colleges and professional programs. They are doctors and lawyers and did not quit their careers once the children came along. They work because they want to. They pursue their career and intellectual passions and enjoy the pay and intellectual parity it brings them with men.

2. Feminists by necessity. These are lower income women who partake in a feminist lifestyle because of necessity. Since the major cornerstone of feminism is the idea that women need to be self sufficient and have access to economic opportunity, they live that out every day. They earn a decent paycheck, they contribute to their mortgage and bills.

3. Anti-feminists. These girls were never truly raised to believe they can be whatever they wanted to be. For some reason, traditional gender norms were reinforced to them. They went to school, sure,but only because they had to. They even became doctors or lawyers because these days, thats just what some do. Work or study until you find a man to take care of you. They can be high income or low in come by for whatever reason they deeply believe that housework is women's work. The achievement here isn't to get a JD from Harvard. Its to land a man with a big wallet. That way they have their JD from Harvard AND a rich husband. They're usually very braggy about this.

Now, its good and fine if women want to be in category 3. Just, please don't call yourselves "feminists" too. Because, honestly, no, you're not a feminist. You are not financially independent or self sufficient and you partake in traditionally gender roles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a super privileged point of view from both sides of this argument--the means to stay at home is a luxury, and the means to pursue a meaningful-to-you career is a luxury.

Most working class women I know would love to have the luxury to be in this fight.

While the DCUM WOHMs yammer on about glass ceilings and feminism, women working blue collar and labor and service jobs are getting left behind.

While the DCUM SAHMs feely compelled justify their existence, women working blue collar and labor and service jobs are getting left behind.

Everybody here could seriously use some perspective.

Bingo.

I have no issue with women choosing either to WOHM, WAH, be SAHMs...whatever works for your family. But the people on this thread bragging about their situations...Gross. If you have the luxury to make these choices, count your blessings, recognize your privilege and please stop bragging about it on here.

+1,000