my father sneaking into my home..advice please
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Anonymous
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I have posted before about my dad losing his house and moving in with my husband and I, it has been about 8-9 months and after 5 months of him not contributing anything financially or making any effort to work I told him he could not stay with us unless he had employment.
He has not gotten employment yet and stays at his girlfriends house while storing some things at my place. Fine. Except that I have suspected he is coming over while we are at work, things moved, towels wet in the shower, less food in the fridge. And then confirmed it last night when my little brother who was going out for drinks with friends, asked if he could crash at our place so the cab would be cheaper. He got in at 3 and said he almost had a heart attack because my dad was on the couch sleeping. I had asked my dad for my key months ago but this is ridiculous. Not to mention dangerous because if I woke up to someone sleeping on my couch, that wasn't supposed to be there, who knows what my husband would do in a panic. He left before we got up at 530 and he doesn't have a cell phone so who knows when I'll see him again. But I don't know what to do. Change the locks I guess? But we rent and aren't allowed to. I could talk to him but I've tried before. He won't work. He has no money. He's probably homeless. I don't know what to do. Tia. |
Anonymous
| Yep change the locks. Talk to your landlord about the issue, explain you'll pay and give him a master or whatever. Unless you want to call the cops on your dad next time, this is about all you can do. |
Anonymous
| Change the locks. Talk to your landlord and be prepared to pay for it yourself. Your landlord doesn't want all these people not on the lease to have a key. |
Anonymous
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#1. Changing the locks after talking with your landlord is the most logical thing to do.
#2. You could use door chains/bolt things. #3. They make these door stopper alarms that are VERY loud. Would be unpleasant to wake up to but give you a chance to deal with it. #4. They also make door jammer bar things that you stick under the handle. |
Anonymous
| Let your dad stay with you. Yikes. Have some heart. |
Anonymous
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Not having read your original post, I find it disturbing that you would change the locks on your own father, but maybe you posted previously that he was mentally ill, dangerous, etc.
Isn't there any recourse? Any treatment facility? Senior care? |
Anonymous
| seriously? you're locking your own father out because he's homeless? |
Anonymous
| To all those criticizing OP, did you read her whole post? I applaud her for setting healthy boundaries and putting her own family first. |
Anonymous
I know  . I did a double take
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Anonymous
Last I checked, ,my own parents were part of my 'family'. I would never lock them out. Are you people crazy? |
Anonymous
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OP, was your childhood happy?
How old are you and how old is your father? |
Anonymous
| Call around and get quotes from a few locksmiths--prices can vary widely. |
Anonymous
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No need to change the locks - just have a locksmith come over and rekey them. A lot cheaper.
And be upfront with your father. Tell him that you've had to do this. It's for your family's safety as well. He's not using the key repsonsibly. What else will he later use it for when he feels stuck? |
Anonymous
When you are married, your spouse and children need to come first. |
Anonymous
No, but the father is. Kudos to OP for establishing healthy boundaries. |