Confessions

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I confess that I am fat prejudice. When I have to walk by a really fat person, I hold my breath because I think they are going to stink.

Really curious and not trying to be snarky here but why would you think a fat person would stink? Do you think they sweat more than thin people? Do you think they bathe less than thin people? I'm fat and I'm really curious about this. Most people don't treat me like I stink, they treat me like I'm invisible.

I am really sorry you feel that way and I'm sure I would make you feel somewhat similar should our paths cross. May I ask if you are you happy with your weight and if not, why are you still heavy? Does feeling invisible and slighted motivate you to want to lose weight in anyway?

As for my hangup, I guess I am thinking about the cleanliness of creases and rolls, an perceived inability to properly fit or move around in a standard shower, and extra sweat from skin on skin and/or from the sheer exertion of moving around.

Wow, you have a lot on your mind. You sound really sweet smelling yourself. Just goes to show that being thin doesn't make someone happy (or nice). Signed, someone who can eat whatever she wants w/o "working out" whatever that is and not gain weight, nah-nah-nah.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"they treat me like I'm invisible."

That is sad. And wrong.

It is sad and I'm sorry to the poster who said this. I've heard that fat is the only "acceptable" prejudice. Meaning people don't judge fat prejudice like they would prejudice about skin/race etc.

I don't know about that. I think it sucks, like any prejudice, and as the PP who admitted this, I think I only admitted it because I could do so anonymously. I smile when I make eye contact with a fat person, but inside I am thinking "for for the love of Nancy, eat a salad already."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I confess that I am fat prejudice. When I have to walk by a really fat person, I hold my breath because I think they are going to stink.

Really curious and not trying to be snarky here but why would you think a fat person would stink? Do you think they sweat more than thin people? Do you think they bathe less than thin people? I'm fat and I'm really curious about this. Most people don't treat me like I stink, they treat me like I'm invisible.

I am really sorry you feel that way and I'm sure I would make you feel somewhat similar should our paths cross. May I ask if you are you happy with your weight and if not, why are you still heavy? Does feeling invisible and slighted motivate you to want to lose weight in anyway?

As for my hangup, I guess I am thinking about the cleanliness of creases and rolls, an perceived inability to properly fit or move around in a standard shower, and extra sweat from skin on skin and/or from the sheer exertion of moving around.

. o O (I wonder if she realizes how insensitive and condescending that sounds...)

Curious, not condescending...

[Anonymous]

I didn't expect you to see it.

[Anonymous]

I consciously try not to look at fat people because I don't want them to think I'm rudely staring at them. I don't have anything against them, I just don't want to come across as rude. I have plenty of fat friends and they don't stink. I don't judge them for being overweight. And they don't judge me for my imperfections.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't expect you to see it.

Please enlighten me then...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't expect you to see it.

Please enlighten me then...

There isn't a way to enlighten you. To understand it you would the same therapy this poor lady does. Can you imagine actually knowing someone like this? The sad thing is she will never see herself for what she really is.

[Anonymous]

Sigh.

May I ask if you are you happy with your weight and if not, why are you still heavy? Does feeling invisible and slighted motivate you to want to lose weight in anyway?

You assume a lot. How do you know she's not trying to lose weight? How do you know she hasn't been trying to lose weight for years, and still has people asking her insultingly simplistic questions like, "Well, why are you still heavy?" People judging her food choices, making assumptions about how she smells. (???) It's also possible she's got more pressing issues on her mind right now than her weight. It's not the end-all be-all for everyone. And really, why should it bother you how much she weighs? She doesn't owe you an explanation, anymore than you owe her or me or anyone an explanation for how you look, what you eat and why. But other people are rarely (if ever?) called upon to justify their appearance. Hell, to justify their very right to exist in this society.

It shouldn't matter whether she's 100 or 500 pounds. The impetus shouldn't be on her to lose weight in order to be treated with kindness and respect. The responsibility is - just because I'm talking to you - yours to realize she is a person worthy of kindness and respect no matter her weight, age, race, sex, religion, etc., etc., etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sigh.

May I ask if you are you happy with your weight and if not, why are you still heavy? Does feeling invisible and slighted motivate you to want to lose weight in anyway?

You assume a lot. How do you know she's not trying to lose weight? How do you know she hasn't been trying to lose weight for years, and still has people asking her insultingly simplistic questions like, "Well, why are you still heavy?" People judging her food choices, making assumptions about how she smells. (???) It's also possible she's got more pressing issues on her mind right now than her weight. It's not the end-all be-all for everyone. And really, why should it bother you how much she weighs? She doesn't owe you an explanation, anymore than you owe her or me or anyone an explanation for how you look, what you eat and why. But other people are rarely (if ever?) called upon to justify their appearance. Hell, to justify their very right to exist in this society.

It shouldn't matter whether she's 100 or 500 pounds. The impetus shouldn't be on her to lose weight in order to be treated with kindness and respect. The responsibility is - just because I'm talking to you - yours to realize she is a person worthy of kindness and respect no matter her weight, age, race, sex, religion, etc., etc., etc.

I agree with this PP. And I want to add that you never ask an alcoholic why they're still drinking if people don't respect them anymore. Or why a drug addict doesn't just snap out of it. Assuming (and that's already a big enough assumption) that this person has no other reason to be overweight (hormonal issues, psychological reasons etc), this person might just be addicted to food. Food sends a message to your brain that you're satisfied. For most of us, that's enough to tell us it's time to stop eating. Some people, however, get hooked on the sensation of being satisfied and associate that with being content. If you have deeper reasons as to why you don't feel content in normal situations, you're gonna go back to food seeking this feeling. Over and over again. Not because you're lazy, or greedy nor because you don't care. You're just addicted to food at this point.

[Anonymous]

I believe that my 135 IQ is more a curse than a blessing. I'm tired of the constant disappointment from family that I am not building rockets or some other equally unappealing job. My smart friends know I'm smart, but I hide it from everyone else. It's embarrassing.

[Anonymous]

I have no black or asian close friends. I didn't plan it this way and I really don't think I am racist! Just never happened. So lame, esp since i live in this city!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no black or asian close friends. I didn't plan it this way and I really don't think I am racist! Just never happened. So lame, esp since i live in this city!

Pp, while I understand you're being embarrassed about it, I don't think that is unusual. It's certainly a reflection of the de facto segregation that continues today and which definitely structures social networks even for white people, a minority here in Chocolate City.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I confess that I am fat prejudice. When I have to walk by a really fat person, I hold my breath because I think they are going to stink.

Really curious and not trying to be snarky here but why would you think a fat person would stink? Do you think they sweat more than thin people? Do you think they bathe less than thin people? I'm fat and I'm really curious about this. Most people don't treat me like I stink, they treat me like I'm invisible.

Fat people sweat more. I know I used to be morbidly obese.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I confess that I am fat prejudice. When I have to walk by a really fat person, I hold my breath because I think they are going to stink.

Really curious and not trying to be snarky here but why would you think a fat person would stink? Do you think they sweat more than thin people? Do you think they bathe less than thin people? I'm fat and I'm really curious about this. Most people don't treat me like I stink, they treat me like I'm invisible.

Fat people sweat more. I know I used to be morbidly obese.

It must be so hard to be obese. I am not being mean or patronizing but, really. How awful to have to move so slowly and to know that your risk for a whole host of illnesses is much higher than your average-weight counterparts. How awful to deal with the stares of rude people. To have to squeeze into plan seats. How do you chase after your kids? How do you have any energy? I just cant think that anyone would CHOOSE to be this way. There must be an underlying cause for obesity. I am not talking about chubby. Chubby is fine! But really FAT. Must be depression, addiction to food, self-loathing, poverty, lack of education about nutrition, disability. I just don't think that it could simply be "greed" or "laziness". Still, whatever the underlying cause, we shouldn't excuse obesity. We should try to understand the drivers and change them! Obesity is public health menace and a sign of a deeply dysfunctional culture and economy.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for enlightening us. No one has ever considered these valid points -- not even Oprah.