I can't get past my new guys sexual past.

[Anonymous]

My new guy of two months wanted to discuss sexual past experiences this past weekend. He divulged to me that he slept with at least 50 married women, some cheaters, some cuckold. I can't fathom sleeping with a married man, regardless of the situation. I believe the past should be the the past but I am disgusted and don't know d I could move past this.

[Anonymous]

How does he feel about it? Do your current values match or does he still think his past behavior was fine while you don't? At any rate, if you can't get past it, you are just two months in. Let him go and find someone more compatible.

[Anonymous]

It's not the number, and it's not that they are married, it's the combination of the two.
I can see why you are concerned, OP. Is this kind of behavior in the recent past, or has he made significant changes towards his relationships with women that have stuck for a while? If the latter, it's possible he's reformed. If not... I dunno....

[Anonymous]

That is odd that he wanted to discuss this. If you decide to look past it, have him get tested.

[Anonymous]

Don't we read the EXACT OPPOSITE ISSUE regularly here, where men are told to "man up" and not be so insecure about a woman's past (gangbangs, threesomes, weird shit)?

Men are then referred to as losers for not having an equally exciting past.

Therefore, on behalf of all men who have been berated for this EXACT question, STFU.

[Anonymous]

What is a cuckhold? Me so slow....

Anyway, how old is he and how old was he when he did all of this?

If he was young, say in his early to mid-20's, I may give him a free pass for just needing to sow his wild oats.

Also, how was his attitude about it? Did he seem remorseful that he had done these things, esp. sleep with married women?

Or does he act like it is not big deal to him.

Depending on how he talks about his past should be an excellent indicator of how he will act in the future.

[Anonymous]

For me that would be a no. NO. Sleeping around-as long as he wasn't cheating-wouldn't be a big deal for me. If he had slept with a married woman once, and then realizing he'd done something wrong and learned a valuable lesson-that I could deal with, but it sounds like he likes the thrill of being with married women. If you want to have an open relationship with him, that might work, but he sounds like a poor prospect for something monogamous (although, good for him for sharing so you know what you're getting).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me that would be a no. NO. Sleeping around-as long as he wasn't cheating-wouldn't be a big deal for me. If he had slept with a married woman once, and then realizing he'd done something wrong and learned a valuable lesson-that I could deal with, but it sounds like he likes the thrill of being with married women. If you want to have an open relationship with him, that might work, but he sounds like a poor prospect for something monogamous (although, good for him for sharing so you know what you're getting).

+1 To his credit he did tell you about it. I think I would want to hear what his perspective is on these affairs with married women. Does he regret doing that now or does he feel that it was o.k.?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't we read the EXACT OPPOSITE ISSUE regularly here, where men are told to "man up" and not be so insecure about a woman's past (gangbangs, threesomes, weird shit)?

Men are then referred to as losers for not having an equally exciting past.

Therefore, on behalf of all men who have been berated for this EXACT question, STFU.

No. Usually in those situations the men are freaking out about finding out that their wife/gf has slept with other single guys. Finding out that your wife/gf has always had a thing for married men would be different..and a red flag.

[Anonymous]

I think it's great he told you now, as he figured some women could have issues with some aspects of this. I don't think he has anything to justify to you or apologize for though. If you are uncomfortable, let him go. I'm positive you will both go on to find people whose pasts you are more comfortable with.

[Anonymous]

We are both in our late 20's. He wanted to know past experiences because he is to voyeurism. He told me about it in a very gloating manner. If I fucked a married man I would be a homewrecker, a whore, etc. The last experience was about a month before we met. His # is over a 100. He just got out of the military so his numbers are large and scattered throughout the city.

I'm not disgusted at the act itself. I'm just disgusted by his blatant disregard for the fact these women were married.

[Anonymous]

So I had a sexually freaky ex and I realized that conversations like the one you just had were chess moves to get you to up your game and do freakier and freakier things. If he didn't explicitly say that he has changed and no longer wants to do these things then he is gauging you to see of you are willing to do this with him. If you aren't I would end it fast. Trust me, I didn't and I ended up being used for his pleasure longer than I should have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are both in our late 20's. He wanted to know past experiences because he is to voyeurism. He told me about it in a very gloating manner. If I fucked a married man I would be a homewrecker, a whore, etc. The last experience was about a month before we met. His # is over a 100. He just got out of the military so his numbers are large and scattered throughout the city.

I'm not disgusted at the act itself. I'm just disgusted by his blatant disregard for the fact these women were married.

If you are disgusted by any part of him then you should leave. Dont try to change him. This is still early on, so no harm no foul.

[Anonymous]

You ought to see what he has going on that has all the girls so interested.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to treat this as a fetish you don't share and ask him his plans for its future. Can he give this up? Does he want to? What does he want from you? tolerance, acceptance, participation? When he's married, does he want his wife doing this?