DC Urban Moms Farce
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Anonymous
Only one is a college. My child went to Scientology preschool so that she could meet children of celebrities and get an edge on her so-called "peers" in the connections game. Of course I only sent her one day per week, for three hours between the breakfast and lunch breastfeed, after preschool yoga and before Suzuki violin, Fractals for Four-Year-Olds, and Momma and Child Econometrics. I bet your stroller wasn't made in Denmark by Carmelite nuns who take a vow of silence so that the riff raff can't steal their secrets of craftsmanship. Your kids are going to be so f-ed up. You'd better keep selfishly going to work every day so that you can afford all of the therapy and tutors you're going to need. I happen to know the ONLY good tutor in the metro area. |
Anonymous
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My MIL insists that I should continue to BF DS until he's ready to stop, even though I have a poor supply, inverted nipples, thrush, lopsided breasts, DS won't latch properly and I'm not sure how to pump when I start a new job. She sent me this link as encouragement.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxv6R9fUO74 WWYD? |
Anonymous
OMG!!! |
Anonymous
WTF! That is gross. Is it real? |
Anonymous
It totally creeped me out! UGH!!!!!!! |
Anonymous
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Mother and child econometrics - damn. How's he going to get into MIT now?
I hear the JCC may offer "matlab for rugrats" if we can get a few more families to sign up. |
Anonymous
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So I took a pregnancy test and it had a very faint positive line, but it technically had expired 6 months ago, so I took another one that had not expired, it also had a faint positive line, is there any way I'm not pregnant?
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Anonymous
| Nobody but nobody uses matlab anymore, and if you don't know what you should be teaching your child I'm not going to tell you. |
Anonymous
| I know the Thank You Note is very important to the school that you really want to attend. Can you share with me exactly what you wrote in your letter? Please only reply if you were ACCEPTED at all the BIG 3 schools you applied to. |
Anonymous
| hee hee, that is verbatim! |
Anonymous
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Hi,
My baby keeps acting like a baby. Should I be worried? |
Anonymous
| Um, yeah. My baby acts like a 30 year old like she should. My friend's baby, however, comes over and acts like a baby. And it's totally annoying. I mean, why is my friend such a bad parent? |
Anonymous
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I just bought a pack of underwear for myself and two additional packages to give as gifts. Imagine my horror when I opened them and they were torn and dirty! EW! Gross. Disgusting. I went and opened the other two packs and guess what! THE SAME THING. Torn, worn, ripped, and dirty! Hanesbro is packaging USED underwear. I think everyone in this community needs to be aware. They are obviously used! I mean, I know I bought them to use and make dirty myself BUT really, they were sealed. Ugh. So gross, ew.
Now that I take a closer look I see they are made in Japan. Used underwear are HUGE in Japan. HUGE. Ugh, I am so disgusted. |
Anonymous
| My husband has a penis and sometimes acts like a man. Is this normal and what can I do to make him behave more appropriately? |
Anonymous
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"Nobody but nobody uses matlab anymore, and if you don't know what you should be teaching your child I'm not going to tell you."
Well, I only went to a state school and matlab was good enough for me. You are probably just an ivy snob who was handed your degree because your father paid your tuition and have been second rate ever since. I meanwhile, have shown just how talented I am on the job every single day. |