DC Urban Moms Farce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i can't stand babies. They irritate me as much as their annoying moms. I could care less about your precious darlings' poop problems, your boob issues, what you eat, what you wear, and what you think. Other people dont' care, either. When I see a dolled up baby in their Quinny stroller with their proud mommy smiling while pushing thinking that she is the shit, it makes me want to puke. Your baby looks like an idiot and you look like a b*tch.
Your engaged and thriving child will become a fast-food eating, illiterate, moody and crazy teenager who will not appreciate the craziness you are going through right now to win the parent of the year award. Moms in this area need to step back and take a chill pill. Do you think anyone cares that your baby has gas? or wlaked at 7 mos., or wears designer duds, or takes classes at 3 mos. or has travelled and seen the work by age 1? Seriously? And for those moms asking the most idiotic questions...have you heard of google? Try it - you will get a ton of information and not bore the rest of us who are tired of hearing that your 2, 3, 4 week old can't sleep through the night.

People! Try and be normal!

I'm not quite sure this belongs on the farce thread....it actually sounds reasonable to me!

This post is hilarious and she took the words right out of my mouth! I just saw this designer dudded 1 month old and she looked like a little worm in clothing. I thought it was the most hilarious and stupid looking thing. And the mom thought she was just adorable. Whatever!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No but I know a legal one that is willing to work for $8. He is a man, and mannies don't demand the same salary as nannies.

Does he swing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No but I know a legal one that is willing to work for $8. He is a man, and mannies don't demand the same salary as nannies.

Does he swing?

Why yes, yes he does.

[Anonymous]

You are all using WAY too much space on this thread. I actually had to SCROLL DOWN to read what you wrote. My thumb is EXHAUSTED. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are all using WAY too much space on this thread. I actually had to SCROLL DOWN to read what you wrote. My thumb is EXHAUSTED. Sheesh.

That's too bad. You won't be able to tell us where Barack and Michelle will be sending Sasha and Malia. And I KNOW YOU KNOW them so well and what they're thinking. I know Michelle has been reading her file on the big 3 and has eliminated one of them already. They are going to ride with the Secret Service to drop their kids off each day. I can't wait to see them at carpool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i can't stand babies. They irritate me as much as their annoying moms. I could care less about your precious darlings' poop problems, your boob issues, what you eat, what you wear, and what you think. Other people dont' care, either. When I see a dolled up baby in their Quinny stroller with their proud mommy smiling while pushing thinking that she is the shit, it makes me want to puke. Your baby looks like an idiot and you look like a b*tch.

Your engaged and thriving child will become a fast-food eating, illiterate, moody and crazy teenager who will not appreciate the craziness you are going through right now to win the parent of the year award. Moms in this area need to step back and take a chill pill. Do you think anyone cares that your baby has gas? or wlaked at 7 mos., or wears designer duds, or takes classes at 3 mos. or has travelled and seen the work by age 1? Seriously? And for those moms asking the most idiotic questions...have you heard of google? Try it - you will get a ton of information and not bore the rest of us who are tired of hearing that your 2, 3, 4 week old can't sleep through the night.

People! Try and be normal!

So, I guess you don't like these high heeled shoes for babies: http://www.heelarious.com/sophie.php

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i can't stand babies. They irritate me as much as their annoying moms. I could care less about your precious darlings' poop problems, your boob issues, what you eat, what you wear, and what you think. Other people dont' care, either. When I see a dolled up baby in their Quinny stroller with their proud mommy smiling while pushing thinking that she is the shit, it makes me want to puke. Your baby looks like an idiot and you look like a b*tch.

Your engaged and thriving child will become a fast-food eating, illiterate, moody and crazy teenager who will not appreciate the craziness you are going through right now to win the parent of the year award. Moms in this area need to step back and take a chill pill. Do you think anyone cares that your baby has gas? or wlaked at 7 mos., or wears designer duds, or takes classes at 3 mos. or has travelled and seen the work by age 1? Seriously? And for those moms asking the most idiotic questions...have you heard of google? Try it - you will get a ton of information and not bore the rest of us who are tired of hearing that your 2, 3, 4 week old can't sleep through the night.

People! Try and be normal!

As a baby, you're mom probably couldn't stand you either. Not sure about you, but I grew up very appreciative and respectful to my parents a well as my sisters.

If you ask me, you sound like a very angry individual.

I'm not quite sure this belongs on the farce thread....it actually sounds reasonable to me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i can't stand babies. They irritate me as much as their annoying moms. I could care less about your precious darlings' poop problems, your boob issues, what you eat, what you wear, and what you think. Other people dont' care, either. When I see a dolled up baby in their Quinny stroller with their proud mommy smiling while pushing thinking that she is the shit, it makes me want to puke. Your baby looks like an idiot and you look like a b*tch.

Your engaged and thriving child will become a fast-food eating, illiterate, moody and crazy teenager who will not appreciate the craziness you are going through right now to win the parent of the year award. Moms in this area need to step back and take a chill pill. Do you think anyone cares that your baby has gas? or wlaked at 7 mos., or wears designer duds, or takes classes at 3 mos. or has travelled and seen the work by age 1? Seriously? And for those moms asking the most idiotic questions...have you heard of google? Try it - you will get a ton of information and not bore the rest of us who are tired of hearing that your 2, 3, 4 week old can't sleep through the night.

People! Try and be normal!

As a baby, you're mom probably couldn't stand you either. Not sure about you, but I grew up very appreciative and respectful to my parents a well as my sisters.

If you ask me, you sound like a very angry individual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

As a baby, you're mom probably couldn't stand you either. Not sure about you, but I grew up very appreciative and respectful to my parents a well as my sisters.

If you ask me, you sound like a very angry individual.

If you ask me, someone doesn't understand the point of the farce thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

As a baby, you're mom probably couldn't stand you either. Not sure about you, but I grew up very appreciative and respectful to my parents a well as my sisters.

If you ask me, you sound like a very angry individual.

If you ask me, someone doesn't understand the point of the farce thread.

I do but i still think this individual is an agry person. LOL

[Anonymous]

This thread has gone attended for too long . . .

Where is everyone?

Or has the stress of the admissions season erased all that energy, humor, and playfulness.

[Anonymous]

I recently noticed that many of you have made different parenting choices than I have made. I don't want to judge, but I feel bad for you. I gave a great deal of thought to which stroller to buy, which daycare to attend (or not), which diaper bag to carry.... and later, which preschool I should choose. I know I made the only legitimate choice in each and every instance.

Those of you who chose something else must -
a) be idiots or
b) not really love your kids.

What's wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently noticed that many of you have made different parenting choices than I have made. I don't want to judge, but I feel bad for you. I gave a great deal of thought to which stroller to buy, which daycare to attend (or not), which diaper bag to carry.... and later, which preschool I should choose. I know I made the only legitimate choice in each and every instance.

Those of you who chose something else must -
a) be idiots or
b) not really love your kids.

What's wrong with you?

You even thought about day care? And then preschool? If you don't like being around your children 24/7 until they get their masters degrees, you shouldn't have been a parent. Why did you have a baby if you couldn't commit to exclusively breastfeeding until the morning of her PSAT?

Studies clearly show that if a mother so much as thinks about spending more than 13 minutes away from her baby (optimal time needed to produce another one, if you've already had a glass of Chardonnay and the nanny is out with baby #1 in the Bugaboo stroller), the child will develop an attachment disorder.

You are a terrible mother. I went to all eight Ivy League universities and I know that you couldn't possibly have picked the right diaper bag if you were foolish enough to go back to work.

[Anonymous]

Poser - not all eight ivies are universities. Some are colleges.

I bet your kids went to church preschool.

[djsegal9456]

Is anyone getting paid to write this stuff-cuz they should be(excuse me, I have to go change my own diaper)