50/50 split of assets with SAHM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I do agree with previous posters that you don’t make the big bucks working flexible hours, calling out when your kids are sick and taking time off to take the kids to their well visits annd dentist appointments. I’m sure you can occasionally be available but doing this once in a while is different than being there every time. I’m sure you can have a job earning 200-400k, maybe 500 if you put your dues early. We know several guys earning 500-800k with somewhat easy hours but they don’t choose the hours so while one day, they may be around to do pick up, other days or weeks at a time, they are very busy. The job dictates when they are busy and when they are free, not the guy who picks the hours he wants to work. The only people I know who do that are feds. They can clock out and clock back in. They can get PTO or take sick leave. There is no $1m+ bonus they are working for.

Yes there are. IT, builders, finance, sales, commercial real estate… yes there are.

I actually worked in those industries. The guys who make the big bucks are not the default caregiver. I used to work in Manhattan and those guys are not leaving work at 3 to be home to pick up their kid and take their kid to soccer at 4. Every single guy I worked with had a stay at home wife or a wife who had a flexible job. The women had not just one nanny but two or even three nannies.

We do know senior people who are semi retired. A few people have sold their companies and both parents don’t really work anymore.

I stand by if you are making millions, you are not working these easy hours driving your kids around the way a SAHM would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. Husband’s workload and amount he contributes to the childcare and household duties matter greatly. Dh could not put his all in at work if he had to take the sick day hits, go to work late and leave early the way I used to when I worked. DH never took a sick day in his working life for himself or for the kids. He doesn’t stay home if the school has a snow day or 2 hour delay. I took that burden every single time.

Would he have only earned 500k vs $2m if we split child duties? I could have continued to earn 200k to his 500k. When I worked, he may have taken a week off during Xmas and I would have taken a week. He likes having a stay at home wife. He never has to worry about the kids.

The bolded is very sad to me. He cares so little.

This is how I know you don’t have a net worth of $10 million, and neither do your parents or any of your friends.
This is how these men are.

I always found the idea of a man cold bizarre. I don’t know any men who lay around in bed if they are sick. They still go to work.

On the contrary, my friend. On the contrary.

You are just making excuses for a man who doesn’t care about his kids.

It’s not an excuse. It’s just reality. People’s priorities and personalities are consistent across all facets of their life. It just is.

That’s why many successful men are also successful parents, coaching, and doing ever you do.

Most truly successful parents - men or women are not raising their kids. Either their spouse is or the hired help. Lets be real. Except a rare exception, the wife and or help does 100% of the work and they just are home for a few hours to sleep and change and if the kids are lucky see them an hour or two a day and maybe weekends. They aren't cooking, cleaning, taking the kids to the doctor, lawn care, buying clothing, etc.

Yes there are.

Yes they have someone clean their house but so do SAHM’s, you know only a small sliver of dads if you don’t know any that also are involved in their kids lives.

They do morning routine and are at all there games, coach, help with homework, do bedtime routine, pick up, handle car pools, etc.

They might work after the kids are in bed, but most dads are fully involved in their kids lives.

It’s sad that you think it’s normal for your H to be an absent father, who even wants that life?

DP. No, the high earners do not do this. They move their family to the burbs and are gone from 7am-8:30pm. Their version of being an “involved dad” is leaving the office at 7pm once a week to (barely) make it home for bedtime. It’s clear you don’t understand these lifestyles, which is totally fine. I wish I didn’t because it is actually very depressing to see up close.

The only exception I know of to this is one law partner who found a freakishly low-hours niche.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I do agree with previous posters that you don’t make the big bucks working flexible hours, calling out when your kids are sick and taking time off to take the kids to their well visits annd dentist appointments. I’m sure you can occasionally be available but doing this once in a while is different than being there every time. I’m sure you can have a job earning 200-400k, maybe 500 if you put your dues early. We know several guys earning 500-800k with somewhat easy hours but they don’t choose the hours so while one day, they may be around to do pick up, other days or weeks at a time, they are very busy. The job dictates when they are busy and when they are free, not the guy who picks the hours he wants to work. The only people I know who do that are feds. They can clock out and clock back in. They can get PTO or take sick leave. There is no $1m+ bonus they are working for.

Yes there are. IT, builders, finance, sales, commercial real estate… yes there are.

I actually worked in those industries. The guys who make the big bucks are not the default caregiver. I used to work in Manhattan and those guys are not leaving work at 3 to be home to pick up their kid and take their kid to soccer at 4. Every single guy I worked with had a stay at home wife or a wife who had a flexible job. The women had not just one nanny but two or even three nannies.

We do know senior people who are semi retired. A few people have sold their companies and both parents don’t really work anymore.

I stand by if you are making millions, you are not working these easy hours driving your kids around the way a SAHM would.

+1. This is what I see too. I do know a couple fed couples. They both make around 100K and parent pretty evenly. They both have pretty flexible schedules. I wouldn't give up a job like that. I worked in finance and it was all about face time and being in the office. The nice thing is you can make pretty good money early and if you invest most of it you can stay home/work a flex job after the kids come. That's what I did anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I do agree with previous posters that you don’t make the big bucks working flexible hours, calling out when your kids are sick and taking time off to take the kids to their well visits annd dentist appointments. I’m sure you can occasionally be available but doing this once in a while is different than being there every time. I’m sure you can have a job earning 200-400k, maybe 500 if you put your dues early. We know several guys earning 500-800k with somewhat easy hours but they don’t choose the hours so while one day, they may be around to do pick up, other days or weeks at a time, they are very busy. The job dictates when they are busy and when they are free, not the guy who picks the hours he wants to work. The only people I know who do that are feds. They can clock out and clock back in. They can get PTO or take sick leave. There is no $1m+ bonus they are working for.

Yes there are. IT, builders, finance, sales, commercial real estate… yes there are.

I actually worked in those industries. The guys who make the big bucks are not the default caregiver. I used to work in Manhattan and those guys are not leaving work at 3 to be home to pick up their kid and take their kid to soccer at 4. Every single guy I worked with had a stay at home wife or a wife who had a flexible job. The women had not just one nanny but two or even three nannies.

We do know senior people who are semi retired. A few people have sold their companies and both parents don’t really work anymore.

I stand by if you are making millions, you are not working these easy hours driving your kids around the way a SAHM would.

+1. This is what I see too. I do know a couple fed couples. They both make around 100K and parent pretty evenly. They both have pretty flexible schedules. I wouldn't give up a job like that. I worked in finance and it was all about face time and being in the office. The nice thing is you can make pretty good money early and if you invest most of it you can stay home/work a flex job after the kids come. That's what I did anyway.

True. The power move is to put off kids until your mid-40s and retire! But sadly there is a huge greed/golden handcuffs aspect to this lifestyle. My “executive brothers” wives would not agree to downsizing. They like their houses and vacations and country clubs. My brothers derive their self worth from being around other rich a-holes.

[Anonymous]

This thread had definitely veered off topic-

That said, this sounds like an UMC family that has managed their $ wisely and had some lucky breaks with real estate in a HCOL area. Nothing special really.

I’m super amused by this idea of a very high earner who has the flexibility to pop in and out during the day to attend to multiple kids’ needs and yet be home by 5pm every day to coach soccer and cook dinner etc. LOL. This is fairly unrealistic for either men or women. Typically people who SEEM to be achieving this are bringing in far less income than one would guess. Usually it is one of these scenarios: (1) those who started families very late- especially men- and are very well set and already slowing down for retirement. Not uncommon in UMC families. (2) significantly padded by family $$$- and there are a TON of these. Far far more than most people guess or (3) energizer bunny type who works very long hours but has some flexibility. Yes- may coach soccer or be PTA president etc but works until midnight and/or all weekend to make up for it. These types tend to burn out.

BTDT and seen it all at this point.

As for the original post- yes assets will end up split relatively 50/50 barring extenuating circumstances (like a prenup).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I do agree with previous posters that you don’t make the big bucks working flexible hours, calling out when your kids are sick and taking time off to take the kids to their well visits annd dentist appointments. I’m sure you can occasionally be available but doing this once in a while is different than being there every time. I’m sure you can have a job earning 200-400k, maybe 500 if you put your dues early. We know several guys earning 500-800k with somewhat easy hours but they don’t choose the hours so while one day, they may be around to do pick up, other days or weeks at a time, they are very busy. The job dictates when they are busy and when they are free, not the guy who picks the hours he wants to work. The only people I know who do that are feds. They can clock out and clock back in. They can get PTO or take sick leave. There is no $1m+ bonus they are working for.

Yes there are. IT, builders, finance, sales, commercial real estate… yes there are.

I actually worked in those industries. The guys who make the big bucks are not the default caregiver. I used to work in Manhattan and those guys are not leaving work at 3 to be home to pick up their kid and take their kid to soccer at 4. Every single guy I worked with had a stay at home wife or a wife who had a flexible job. The women had not just one nanny but two or even three nannies.

We do know senior people who are semi retired. A few people have sold their companies and both parents don’t really work anymore.

I stand by if you are making millions, you are not working these easy hours driving your kids around the way a SAHM would.

Lol okay SAHM who has worked in every industry. FFS

Nice fiction novel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I do agree with previous posters that you don’t make the big bucks working flexible hours, calling out when your kids are sick and taking time off to take the kids to their well visits annd dentist appointments. I’m sure you can occasionally be available but doing this once in a while is different than being there every time. I’m sure you can have a job earning 200-400k, maybe 500 if you put your dues early. We know several guys earning 500-800k with somewhat easy hours but they don’t choose the hours so while one day, they may be around to do pick up, other days or weeks at a time, they are very busy. The job dictates when they are busy and when they are free, not the guy who picks the hours he wants to work. The only people I know who do that are feds. They can clock out and clock back in. They can get PTO or take sick leave. There is no $1m+ bonus they are working for.

Yes there are. IT, builders, finance, sales, commercial real estate… yes there are.

I actually worked in those industries. The guys who make the big bucks are not the default caregiver. I used to work in Manhattan and those guys are not leaving work at 3 to be home to pick up their kid and take their kid to soccer at 4. Every single guy I worked with had a stay at home wife or a wife who had a flexible job. The women had not just one nanny but two or even three nannies.

We do know senior people who are semi retired. A few people have sold their companies and both parents don’t really work anymore.

I stand by if you are making millions, you are not working these easy hours driving your kids around the way a SAHM would.

Yep- agree

[Anonymous]

Look, marriage is a corporation. The husband and wife are 50/50 shareholders and decision makers. Eaach spouse decides who they are going to go into business with - what do they bring to the table? The wife doesn't unilaterally decide to reproduce and then stay home. The husband has a say as to whether his swimmers make babies, you know?

If the "corporation" has been going for 20 years or whatever and decides to dissolve, all shareholders get their appropriate % of ALL of the corporations assets. In a marriage since there's usually two partners, that's 50/50.

Sorry OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. Husband’s workload and amount he contributes to the childcare and household duties matter greatly. Dh could not put his all in at work if he had to take the sick day hits, go to work late and leave early the way I used to when I worked. DH never took a sick day in his working life for himself or for the kids. He doesn’t stay home if the school has a snow day or 2 hour delay. I took that burden every single time.

Would he have only earned 500k vs $2m if we split child duties? I could have continued to earn 200k to his 500k. When I worked, he may have taken a week off during Xmas and I would have taken a week. He likes having a stay at home wife. He never has to worry about the kids.

The bolded is very sad to me. He cares so little.

This is how I know you don’t have a net worth of $10 million, and neither do your parents or any of your friends.
This is how these men are.

I always found the idea of a man cold bizarre. I don’t know any men who lay around in bed if they are sick. They still go to work.

On the contrary, my friend. On the contrary.

You are just making excuses for a man who doesn’t care about his kids.

It’s not an excuse. It’s just reality. People’s priorities and personalities are consistent across all facets of their life. It just is.

That’s why many successful men are also successful parents, coaching, and doing ever you do.

Most truly successful parents - men or women are not raising their kids. Either their spouse is or the hired help. Lets be real. Except a rare exception, the wife and or help does 100% of the work and they just are home for a few hours to sleep and change and if the kids are lucky see them an hour or two a day and maybe weekends. They aren't cooking, cleaning, taking the kids to the doctor, lawn care, buying clothing, etc.

Yes there are.

Yes they have someone clean their house but so do SAHM’s, you know only a small sliver of dads if you don’t know any that also are involved in their kids lives.

They do morning routine and are at all there games, coach, help with homework, do bedtime routine, pick up, handle car pools, etc.

They might work after the kids are in bed, but most dads are fully involved in their kids lives.

It’s sad that you think it’s normal for your H to be an absent father, who even wants that life?

DP. No, the high earners do not do this. They move their family to the burbs and are gone from 7am-8:30pm. Their version of being an “involved dad” is leaving the office at 7pm once a week to (barely) make it home for bedtime. It’s clear you don’t understand these lifestyles, which is totally fine. I wish I didn’t because it is actually very depressing to see up close.

The only exception I know of to this is one law partner who found a freakishly low-hours niche.

Nope.

They may leave at 6am work 7-4, home by 5… run kids around, coach, make dinner, do bedtime routine.

Back online from 9-11.

It’s really not all that hard/uncommon.

Builders often are off by 3pm… then do paperwork after bedtime.

Comm real estate is the high yield slacker job, lax dads.

Sales is not seeing clients after 4 since clients need to get home.

Lots of boomers and gen x have no idea how the world works today.

Finance… they never work late their analysts might
You sound like you only know big law.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I do agree with previous posters that you don’t make the big bucks working flexible hours, calling out when your kids are sick and taking time off to take the kids to their well visits annd dentist appointments. I’m sure you can occasionally be available but doing this once in a while is different than being there every time. I’m sure you can have a job earning 200-400k, maybe 500 if you put your dues early. We know several guys earning 500-800k with somewhat easy hours but they don’t choose the hours so while one day, they may be around to do pick up, other days or weeks at a time, they are very busy. The job dictates when they are busy and when they are free, not the guy who picks the hours he wants to work. The only people I know who do that are feds. They can clock out and clock back in. They can get PTO or take sick leave. There is no $1m+ bonus they are working for.

Yes there are. IT, builders, finance, sales, commercial real estate… yes there are.

I actually worked in those industries. The guys who make the big bucks are not the default caregiver. I used to work in Manhattan and those guys are not leaving work at 3 to be home to pick up their kid and take their kid to soccer at 4. Every single guy I worked with had a stay at home wife or a wife who had a flexible job. The women had not just one nanny but two or even three nannies.

We do know senior people who are semi retired. A few people have sold their companies and both parents don’t really work anymore.

I stand by if you are making millions, you are not working these easy hours driving your kids around the way a SAHM would.

+1. This is what I see too. I do know a couple fed couples. They both make around 100K and parent pretty evenly. They both have pretty flexible schedules. I wouldn't give up a job like that. I worked in finance and it was all about face time and being in the office. The nice thing is you can make pretty good money early and if you invest most of it you can stay home/work a flex job after the kids come. That's what I did anyway.

True. The power move is to put off kids until your mid-40s and retire! But sadly there is a huge greed/golden handcuffs aspect to this lifestyle. My “executive brothers” wives would not agree to downsizing. They like their houses and vacations and country clubs. My brothers derive their self worth from being around other rich a-holes.

A good formula is to marry to a similar person young-ish, save like mad for 7-8 years, have kids in early/mid 30s and live on one income. We were serious about saving though. I knew one of us had to step back eventually and I wanted to do it. I actually had kids in daycare before they started school, so I had a few more working years to save. I didn't step back until they were in school. For this to work, you have to find someone like minded. That can be tough. It's easier to find them when they are younger though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, marriage is a corporation. The husband and wife are 50/50 shareholders and decision makers. Eaach spouse decides who they are going to go into business with - what do they bring to the table? The wife doesn't unilaterally decide to reproduce and then stay home. The husband has a say as to whether his swimmers make babies, you know?

If the "corporation" has been going for 20 years or whatever and decides to dissolve, all shareholders get their appropriate % of ALL of the corporations assets. In a marriage since there's usually two partners, that's 50/50.

Sorry OP.

Maybe, sometimes. We don’t really know about every marriage.

But a SAHM does not “make a H successful “.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. Husband’s workload and amount he contributes to the childcare and household duties matter greatly. Dh could not put his all in at work if he had to take the sick day hits, go to work late and leave early the way I used to when I worked. DH never took a sick day in his working life for himself or for the kids. He doesn’t stay home if the school has a snow day or 2 hour delay. I took that burden every single time.

Would he have only earned 500k vs $2m if we split child duties? I could have continued to earn 200k to his 500k. When I worked, he may have taken a week off during Xmas and I would have taken a week. He likes having a stay at home wife. He never has to worry about the kids.

The bolded is very sad to me. He cares so little.

This is how I know you don’t have a net worth of $10 million, and neither do your parents or any of your friends.
This is how these men are.

I always found the idea of a man cold bizarre. I don’t know any men who lay around in bed if they are sick. They still go to work.

On the contrary, my friend. On the contrary.

You are just making excuses for a man who doesn’t care about his kids.

It’s not an excuse. It’s just reality. People’s priorities and personalities are consistent across all facets of their life. It just is.

That’s why many successful men are also successful parents, coaching, and doing ever you do.

Most truly successful parents - men or women are not raising their kids. Either their spouse is or the hired help. Lets be real. Except a rare exception, the wife and or help does 100% of the work and they just are home for a few hours to sleep and change and if the kids are lucky see them an hour or two a day and maybe weekends. They aren't cooking, cleaning, taking the kids to the doctor, lawn care, buying clothing, etc.

Yes there are.

Yes they have someone clean their house but so do SAHM’s, you know only a small sliver of dads if you don’t know any that also are involved in their kids lives.

They do morning routine and are at all there games, coach, help with homework, do bedtime routine, pick up, handle car pools, etc.

They might work after the kids are in bed, but most dads are fully involved in their kids lives.

It’s sad that you think it’s normal for your H to be an absent father, who even wants that life?

DP. No, the high earners do not do this. They move their family to the burbs and are gone from 7am-8:30pm. Their version of being an “involved dad” is leaving the office at 7pm once a week to (barely) make it home for bedtime. It’s clear you don’t understand these lifestyles, which is totally fine. I wish I didn’t because it is actually very depressing to see up close.

The only exception I know of to this is one law partner who found a freakishly low-hours niche.

Nope.

They may leave at 6am work 7-4, home by 5… run kids around, coach, make dinner, do bedtime routine.

Back online from 9-11.

It’s really not all that hard/uncommon.

Builders often are off by 3pm… then do paperwork after bedtime.

Comm real estate is the high yield slacker job, lax dads.

Sales is not seeing clients after 4 since clients need to get home.

Lots of boomers and gen x have no idea how the world works today.

Finance… they never work late their analysts might
You sound like you only know big law.

Somehow I don’t think you actually know any IB/law partners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, marriage is a corporation. The husband and wife are 50/50 shareholders and decision makers. Eaach spouse decides who they are going to go into business with - what do they bring to the table? The wife doesn't unilaterally decide to reproduce and then stay home. The husband has a say as to whether his swimmers make babies, you know?

If the "corporation" has been going for 20 years or whatever and decides to dissolve, all shareholders get their appropriate % of ALL of the corporations assets. In a marriage since there's usually two partners, that's 50/50.

Sorry OP.

Maybe, sometimes. We don’t really know about every marriage.

But a SAHM does not “make a H successful “.

A SAHM absolutely does make a high-earning spouse successful since it is impossible for a man to have a home & kids and be high-earning without a wife. We know that. You just think women’s work is without value.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I do agree with previous posters that you don’t make the big bucks working flexible hours, calling out when your kids are sick and taking time off to take the kids to their well visits annd dentist appointments. I’m sure you can occasionally be available but doing this once in a while is different than being there every time. I’m sure you can have a job earning 200-400k, maybe 500 if you put your dues early. We know several guys earning 500-800k with somewhat easy hours but they don’t choose the hours so while one day, they may be around to do pick up, other days or weeks at a time, they are very busy. The job dictates when they are busy and when they are free, not the guy who picks the hours he wants to work. The only people I know who do that are feds. They can clock out and clock back in. They can get PTO or take sick leave. There is no $1m+ bonus they are working for.

Yes there are. IT, builders, finance, sales, commercial real estate… yes there are.

I actually worked in those industries. The guys who make the big bucks are not the default caregiver. I used to work in Manhattan and those guys are not leaving work at 3 to be home to pick up their kid and take their kid to soccer at 4. Every single guy I worked with had a stay at home wife or a wife who had a flexible job. The women had not just one nanny but two or even three nannies.

We do know senior people who are semi retired. A few people have sold their companies and both parents don’t really work anymore.

I stand by if you are making millions, you are not working these easy hours driving your kids around the way a SAHM would.

+1. This is what I see too. I do know a couple fed couples. They both make around 100K and parent pretty evenly. They both have pretty flexible schedules. I wouldn't give up a job like that. I worked in finance and it was all about face time and being in the office. The nice thing is you can make pretty good money early and if you invest most of it you can stay home/work a flex job after the kids come. That's what I did anyway.

True. The power move is to put off kids until your mid-40s and retire! But sadly there is a huge greed/golden handcuffs aspect to this lifestyle. My “executive brothers” wives would not agree to downsizing. They like their houses and vacations and country clubs. My brothers derive their self worth from being around other rich a-holes.

A good formula is to marry to a similar person young-ish, save like mad for 7-8 years, have kids in early/mid 30s and live on one income. We were serious about saving though. I knew one of us had to step back eventually and I wanted to do it. I actually had kids in daycare before they started school, so I had a few more working years to save. I didn't step back until they were in school. For this to work, you have to find someone like minded. That can be tough. It's easier to find them when they are younger though.

You stepped back after you were not needed from 9-3? Hmm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. Husband’s workload and amount he contributes to the childcare and household duties matter greatly. Dh could not put his all in at work if he had to take the sick day hits, go to work late and leave early the way I used to when I worked. DH never took a sick day in his working life for himself or for the kids. He doesn’t stay home if the school has a snow day or 2 hour delay. I took that burden every single time.

Would he have only earned 500k vs $2m if we split child duties? I could have continued to earn 200k to his 500k. When I worked, he may have taken a week off during Xmas and I would have taken a week. He likes having a stay at home wife. He never has to worry about the kids.

The bolded is very sad to me. He cares so little.

This is how I know you don’t have a net worth of $10 million, and neither do your parents or any of your friends.
This is how these men are.

I always found the idea of a man cold bizarre. I don’t know any men who lay around in bed if they are sick. They still go to work.

On the contrary, my friend. On the contrary.

You are just making excuses for a man who doesn’t care about his kids.

It’s not an excuse. It’s just reality. People’s priorities and personalities are consistent across all facets of their life. It just is.

That’s why many successful men are also successful parents, coaching, and doing ever you do.

Most truly successful parents - men or women are not raising their kids. Either their spouse is or the hired help. Lets be real. Except a rare exception, the wife and or help does 100% of the work and they just are home for a few hours to sleep and change and if the kids are lucky see them an hour or two a day and maybe weekends. They aren't cooking, cleaning, taking the kids to the doctor, lawn care, buying clothing, etc.

Yes there are.

Yes they have someone clean their house but so do SAHM’s, you know only a small sliver of dads if you don’t know any that also are involved in their kids lives.

They do morning routine and are at all there games, coach, help with homework, do bedtime routine, pick up, handle car pools, etc.

They might work after the kids are in bed, but most dads are fully involved in their kids lives.

It’s sad that you think it’s normal for your H to be an absent father, who even wants that life?

DP. No, the high earners do not do this. They move their family to the burbs and are gone from 7am-8:30pm. Their version of being an “involved dad” is leaving the office at 7pm once a week to (barely) make it home for bedtime. It’s clear you don’t understand these lifestyles, which is totally fine. I wish I didn’t because it is actually very depressing to see up close.

The only exception I know of to this is one law partner who found a freakishly low-hours niche.

Nope.

They may leave at 6am work 7-4, home by 5… run kids around, coach, make dinner, do bedtime routine.

Back online from 9-11.

It’s really not all that hard/uncommon.

Builders often are off by 3pm… then do paperwork after bedtime.

Comm real estate is the high yield slacker job, lax dads.

Sales is not seeing clients after 4 since clients need to get home.

Lots of boomers and gen x have no idea how the world works today.

Finance… they never work late their analysts might
You sound like you only know big law.

YES to the bolded. I know 2 like this. Very true