Family drama over dog

[Anonymous]

Offer to pay for a dog sitter or boarding. Can you afford it?

[Anonymous]

What would your IL say if you said: “you realize this is sending the message to your grandson that his grandparents care more about their dog than their grandson’s health? Is that the relationship message you want to send to your grandchildren?”

[Anonymous]

Your home should be your safe zone. You can’t control where allergens are in the world, but your child should know home is safe. Grandparents sometimes forget what is it like to be a parent. Time to re-educate them on this issue, and don’t bow down. BTDT, no a little cookie you so graciously baked grandma, will still make the child with food allergies sick!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NO DOG.

My son is very allergic to cats and dogs, but not to our own dog, which we chose especially. It's a Samoyed and while it sheds like crazy, for some reason that breed is known to be hyperallergenic and it doesn't trigger his allergies.

I would NEVER invite a badly behaved, potentially allergenic pet into our home while my son lives here.

Please do not explain or defend. Say: "The dog cannot come. This is non-negotiable. We'll miss you if you decide not to come."

This. Your son's health over your family's silliness. Not to mention the dander and saliva will get everywhere and will trigger his allergies long after the dog is gone.

[Anonymous]

No no no do NOT pay for boarding the dog. Then you will be on the hook FOREVER, given their tendency to push boundaries.

"Just say no!"

[Anonymous]

I re-read your post OP. The in laws had dogs before this current dog and you have never allowed those dogs in your home either. Do I have this right? Why are they accusing YOU of not being fair? Do you bring your dog to their home? They might put a stop to that. Their home, their rules. Same for you.

[Anonymous]

We didn't have a blind or aggressive dog but generally easy dogs. Same for people who brought visiting dogs. 1 dog was not allowed. All sorts of behavior issues. I got an out from a surprising source. Insurance company. Turned out specific breed or mix thereof if we allowed on our property could cancel our policy and we'd have no coverage if anything happened while it was here.

[Anonymous]

Honestly leaving the dog behind is probably the best thing they can do for it. Not being able to ever leave a dog alone is insane. We got two dogs during the pandemic and I was adamant about leaving them home alone for a bit every day because I did NOT want a dog with separation anxiety. They cried at first but eventually got over it.

Good for you for sticking to your guns.

[Anonymous]

Just say no. We have a friend in the same sort of situation - dong can't be left alone. So we don't really see them, oh well. They got a pandemic dog, will be fun when things open up and they have to go into office. For now they rather not deal with the situation.

Eventually your inlaws will have to deal with the situation. And for whatever reason, their grand kids aren't worth it at this point.

[Anonymous]

I love dogs. Have two of them myself (and they shed like crazy). But no, your in-laws don't get to bring their dog. If that means they don't come visit, oh well. It's your house. Be firm on this. You are not wrong!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this a serious allergy issue or one manageable on medication? Is your husband on board with no dog? What would the longer term issues be - ie, would the residue be gone with them or linger for days or weeks? What are the long term ramifications with your in laws.

I can see their point about fairness and I can totally get not wanting to be inconvenienced. It’s a balancing act.

What? What's not fair? OP doesn't get to be inconvenienced as she's the host. If you want to travel, then you make plans for your dog. It's that simple. And yes, I have dogs. And no, I don't always take them with me when I travel (I usually don't).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you afford to pay for a sitter or kennel?

You people are crazy! The in-laws didn't HAVE to get a dog. They CHOSE to get a dog. Now they need to pay for it. Seriously, why on earth would OP pay to board someone else's dog?!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PS OP, what I plan to do when I visit people who can't have my dog in the house, is camp in the yard. I'll sleep outside.

One good solution would be if they rent an RV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What would your IL say if you said: “you realize this is sending the message to your grandson that his grandparents care more about their dog than their grandson’s health? Is that the relationship message you want to send to your grandchildren?”

This.

If they can't afford it, offer to pay for dog training and boarding.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are never unreasonable to insist on no dog. Any dog. Anyone's dog. No matter what the behavior (of dog or person!) And it is not your job to solve their problem. They figure it out. Or they don't. Signed, a dog owner. Btw, we just traveled w/our dog for 30 days .. and do not leave her alone. We stay at hotels. We don't impose on with family who wouldn't want a dog there. And we stagger our visiting schedule w/one of us with the dog. That means one of us miss out on things occasionally. It is what it is.