Family drama over dog

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the new dog hypoallergic?

No, not hypoallergenic

No dog is hypoallergenic. That said, I agree with 21:35 who said "The dog cannot come. This is non-negotiable. We'll miss you if you decide not to come." Guests do not decide, you decide.

This. Your dog may have less of the triggers by hypoallergenic is not a real thing. (All dogs shed hair, skin, saliva, etc.0.

That said, it's your house. If the dog is a trigger for your son's allergies and/or he is ill-mannered, then he can't come. They can get an Air BNB nearby with the dog or can get a pet sitter. I'm a HUGE dog lover but realize not everyone wants my dogs in their home.

There's also an aspect of familiarity. I wasn't allergic to my childhood terrier but I am allergic to some dogs. My own cat doesn't set off my allergies (though he did when we first brought him home) but my mom's cats do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you afford to pay for a sitter or kennel?

This.

I'm the biggest baby when it comes to my dog. And hated the idea of boarding my dog. Ever. But I found such a fantastic place. I board him now 4-5 times a year and it's awesome. Find that for this dog. Pay for it if you have to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Update- in laws want to meet half way between us at a dog-friendly hotel.

Two thoughts:
1) Isn't that going to cost more than a dog sitter? (Hell I would pay for the dog sitter)
2) It still becomes an issue because the dog can't be left alone. Therefore they are splitting time with with us while watching the dog.

I'm 21:44. I would say no because it sounds like a pain/ will dictate your whole visit, but it's entirely your decision to make.
Maybe I missed why they can't board him somewhere?

I'm not sure you get to dictate whether they stay in a hotel. And how they babysit the dog. If their coming and not in your house, then your decision-making is over. They are not coming to the house. Yay. Now they can do what they want and you will need to deal with that.

Are they asking you to stay overnight at the dog friendly hotel as well? Because that would be a no-go for me, because there would be allergens all over a hotel room like that for your son.

[Anonymous]

What do your in-laws say it’s “not fair”? What’s the fairness? Do you bring your dog with you when you go visit them? Otherwise, I can see that it might be inconvenient, or frustrating for them, but not a fairness issue.

Their dog does not come to your house. If they don’t like it, then THEY are making a choice.

[Anonymous]

Covid plus dog allergies is a firm no. Sorry mom.

[Anonymous]

PS OP, what I plan to do when I visit people who can't have my dog in the house, is camp in the yard. I'll sleep outside.

One good solution would be if they rent an RV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you afford to pay for a sitter or kennel?

This.

I'm the biggest baby when it comes to my dog. And hated the idea of boarding my dog. Ever. But I found such a fantastic place. I board him now 4-5 times a year and it's awesome. Find that for this dog. Pay for it if you have to.

I'm sorry but why does OP have to pay for the kennel? How is this dog her financial burden? The MIL should be a responsible dog owner and pay for her own pet. Ridiculous.

And OP, I would absolutely say no to that. We welcome guests into our home all the time. And no, they cannot bring their dogs. If they must travel with dogs, why don't they arrange for their own lodging?

[Anonymous]

You need to leave all of the judgment about their management of the dog out of this.

No, their dog can't come to your house because your son and your dog can't take it. Period. You're terribly sorry but that would be your answer to anyone and any animal.

Re meeting halfway - that seems like they're trying to compromise and maybe you should also. If they're tethered by their dog then so be it - put up with that for a couple of days (keeping your judgment to yourself!!!) and then go on about your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the new dog hypoallergic?

No, not hypoallergenic

No dog is hypoallergenic. That said, I agree with 21:35 who said "The dog cannot come. This is non-negotiable. We'll miss you if you decide not to come." Guests do not decide, you decide.

+1 there's actually no such thing as a hypoallergenic dog - but it's great your kid isn't reacting to your own dog, and i think it's pretty unfair of your in laws to put you in the position of having to say no to this request. seems like staying at a nearby airbnb would be an easy solution? or, as others said, finding a pet sitter for while they are visiting - that's what most of us do when we are traveling and can't bring our pets.

[Anonymous]

I'm allergic to dogs and cats and also a dog owner. I'd recommend telling your in-laws that the dog dander will more than likely cause health issues for your son so it would be best to not have the dog in your home. And then suggest a local kennel that can care for the dog during their stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So... any other symptoms of dementia?

Yeah. Sometimes the most obvious answer is the right one. Keep in mind some common signs of dementia include old people getting obsessed with their mail. For example they no longer trust drop off mailboxes and insist on going to post office, etc. The way your in-laws talk about the dog and their reasoning is very consistent with dementia. I’m sorry.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s perfectly reasonable for you to say no. If they are on your doorstep and you are trying to keep the peace, keep the dog restricted to one room, hard floor if possible, in a crate if needed. They can stay in there with the dog the whole time if they want to. You can all visit outside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s perfectly reasonable for you to say no. If they are on your doorstep and you are trying to keep the peace, keep the dog restricted to one room, hard floor if possible, in a crate if needed. They can stay in there with the dog the whole time if they want to. You can all visit outside.

I wouldn’t do this. Keep a firm no to the dog in the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s perfectly reasonable for you to say no. If they are on your doorstep and you are trying to keep the peace, keep the dog restricted to one room, hard floor if possible, in a crate if needed. They can stay in there with the dog the whole time if they want to. You can all visit outside.

I wouldn’t do this. Keep a firm no to the dog in the house.

+1

The dog can wait in the yard long enough for them to call a kennel or dog friendly hotel. If you really think they’re liable to do this, you might want to do some advance research, to expedite the process.

[Anonymous]

What's up is that your older in-laws, whose children are all out of the nest, have invested everything into dogs and will not leave the dog alone or board the dog.

My in-laws are exactly the same. The dog is everything to them. It's infuriating, but it's what they have.

They are never going to board the dog, and even if the dog is perfectly behaved (it never will be) they will never leave it alone. this is your life now.

I hate it SO MUCH.