Why do kids seem to be driving later than they used to "back in the day"?

[Anonymous]

The jurisdictions around here have made it much more time consuming to get a license. In MD they can’t test until at least 16.5. Before that, there’s a lengthy (extracurricular) classroom training, 60 hours behind the wheel with an adult driver, and 3 2-hour sessions with a professional instructor. Scheduling all of that introduces a lot of delay.

Beyond that, at least some kids nowadays lived a near-virtual life long before covid. They don’t need to go out to see their friends. Some kids also think cars and responsibility are “scary.” There’s some truth in that. Driving in this metropolitan area is awful. The level of recklessness, aggressiveness, and pure lack of skill is astounding. Many drivers seem at best oblivious to other vehicles, others narcissistically malicious. So there’s good reason for kids and parents to be concerned.

On the other side of the equation, the later a kid learns to and starts driving the less experience they will have when they go away to school or otherwise become emancipated. Better a licensed young driver still being coached by a parent passenger than a half-formed one out on their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The jurisdictions around here have made it much more time consuming to get a license. In MD they can’t test until at least 16.5. Before that, there’s a lengthy (extracurricular) classroom training, 60 hours behind the wheel with an adult driver, and 3 2-hour sessions with a professional instructor. Scheduling all of that introduces a lot of delay.

Beyond that, at least some kids nowadays lived a near-virtual life long before covid. They don’t need to go out to see their friends. Some kids also think cars and responsibility are “scary.” There’s some truth in that. Driving in this metropolitan area is awful. The level of recklessness, aggressiveness, and pure lack of skill is astounding. Many drivers seem at best oblivious to other vehicles, others narcissistically malicious. So there’s good reason for kids and parents to be concerned.

On the other side of the equation, the later a kid learns to and starts driving the less experience they will have when they go away to school or otherwise become emancipated. Better a licensed young driver still being coached by a parent passenger than a half-formed one out on their own.

That's why all those hours are good, I think. They just get so used to the parental nagging about driving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are your thoughts on the trend of kids waiting to get their licenses--and the common feeling of reluctance that a lot of kids seem to have about driving?

I was one of the few kids I knew who did not get a license at age 16 (back in the 1990s). For me, the reason was straight-up anxiety. I was very fixated on the appearance of being perfect and I couldn't handle the idea of doing a driving training with other kids from school who would see me learning at something.

A lot less was understood about anxiety then, my experience with it now (and my stance as a parent) is that if my kid was anxious about driving I would provide more support and coping skills but I would not let them avoid driving. IME, avoiding something makes that stress/anxiety build up about it and it becomes harder to surmount later.

Are kids today more anxious in general? Or is it because so much socializing can be done online, so there's less of a pull to be out and about on your own? Or is it somewhat parent-influenced, because I do think parents are more anxious than they seemed to be when I was growing up.

I was inspired to post this because another parenting group I am on had people talking about driving their kids to COLLEGE (because the kids didn't want licenses) and that really got me thinking.

We live in the city so there's no need to drive -- lots of other options exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are your thoughts on the trend of kids waiting to get their licenses--and the common feeling of reluctance that a lot of kids seem to have about driving?

I was one of the few kids I knew who did not get a license at age 16 (back in the 1990s). For me, the reason was straight-up anxiety. I was very fixated on the appearance of being perfect and I couldn't handle the idea of doing a driving training with other kids from school who would see me learning at something.

A lot less was understood about anxiety then, my experience with it now (and my stance as a parent) is that if my kid was anxious about driving I would provide more support and coping skills but I would not let them avoid driving. IME, avoiding something makes that stress/anxiety build up about it and it becomes harder to surmount later.

Are kids today more anxious in general? Or is it because so much socializing can be done online, so there's less of a pull to be out and about on your own? Or is it somewhat parent-influenced, because I do think parents are more anxious than they seemed to be when I was growing up.

I was inspired to post this because another parenting group I am on had people talking about driving their kids to COLLEGE (because the kids didn't want licenses) and that really got me thinking.

I drove my kid to college. They aren’t taking my car to college or keeping it on campus. Your point?

I’m talking about daily commuting to college and community college. Of course I’m not talking another dropping a kid off at college. Daily driving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid's perfect world would be a car be can get into, tell it where he wants to go, and then sit back and scroll through social media while the car drives him where he wants to go. And I think he is not alone. This generation is ripe for self-driving cars.

I’m 49 and I can’t wait for that!

[Anonymous]

Laziness

No way would I trust my teen daughter using Uber.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are your thoughts on the trend of kids waiting to get their licenses--and the common feeling of reluctance that a lot of kids seem to have about driving?

I was one of the few kids I knew who did not get a license at age 16 (back in the 1990s). For me, the reason was straight-up anxiety. I was very fixated on the appearance of being perfect and I couldn't handle the idea of doing a driving training with other kids from school who would see me learning at something.

A lot less was understood about anxiety then, my experience with it now (and my stance as a parent) is that if my kid was anxious about driving I would provide more support and coping skills but I would not let them avoid driving. IME, avoiding something makes that stress/anxiety build up about it and it becomes harder to surmount later.

Are kids today more anxious in general? Or is it because so much socializing can be done online, so there's less of a pull to be out and about on your own? Or is it somewhat parent-influenced, because I do think parents are more anxious than they seemed to be when I was growing up.

I was inspired to post this because another parenting group I am on had people talking about driving their kids to COLLEGE (because the kids didn't want licenses) and that really got me thinking.

I drove my kid to college. They aren’t taking my car to college or keeping it on campus. Your point?

I’m talking about daily commuting to college and community college. Of course I’m not talking another dropping a kid off at college. Daily driving.

DP. For some families that is cheaper than buying another car. Cars are expensive and if a kid is commuting or going to community college money is likely tight. Families do what they’ve got to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid's perfect world would be a car be can get into, tell it where he wants to go, and then sit back and scroll through social media while the car drives him where he wants to go. And I think he is not alone. This generation is ripe for self-driving cars.

Not my kids, but then again I didn't raise them to be like this either. Both of my teens got their licenses first day they could. I still limit screen time on their electronics, but I never limit face to face time, never limit driving, and always encourage independency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The jurisdictions around here have made it much more time consuming to get a license. In MD they can’t test until at least 16.5. Before that, there’s a lengthy (extracurricular) classroom training, 60 hours behind the wheel with an adult driver, and 3 2-hour sessions with a professional instructor. Scheduling all of that introduces a lot of delay.

Beyond that, at least some kids nowadays lived a near-virtual life long before covid. They don’t need to go out to see their friends. Some kids also think cars and responsibility are “scary.” There’s some truth in that. Driving in this metropolitan area is awful. The level of recklessness, aggressiveness, and pure lack of skill is astounding. Many drivers seem at best oblivious to other vehicles, others narcissistically malicious. So there’s good reason for kids and parents to be concerned.

On the other side of the equation, the later a kid learns to and starts driving the less experience they will have when they go away to school or otherwise become emancipated. Better a licensed young driver still being coached by a parent passenger than a half-formed one out on their own.

They need to go out to see their friends in person. You think a FaceTime call is the same as going out with friends? Not even close to being the same mentally or physically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid's perfect world would be a car be can get into, tell it where he wants to go, and then sit back and scroll through social media while the car drives him where he wants to go. And I think he is not alone. This generation is ripe for self-driving cars.

Not my kids, but then again I didn't raise them to be like this either. Both of my teens got their licenses first day they could. I still limit screen time on their electronics, but I never limit face to face time, never limit driving, and always encourage independency.

Typical “kids these days are lazy” shit.

[Anonymous]

They are used to walkable socializing, and I also think parents have more expensive cars, plus in general there is more traffic. Also it seems as if teens seem to expect to be instantly comfortable and good at stuff. Maybe parents being busier too, or not pressuring the way they used to, more just leave it be. Same with stuff like part time jobs.

[Anonymous]

A lot of states have graduated licensing laws for under 18 year olds. Why go through all that crap of having a junior learners permit, junior license, etc, when you can just stroll into the DMV at 18 and get your full license?

Plus you don’t have to spend time and money on drivers ed, behind the wheel, logging driving hours, and then waiting around for a ridiculous court ceremony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are used to walkable socializing, and I also think parents have more expensive cars, plus in general there is more traffic. Also it seems as if teens seem to expect to be instantly comfortable and good at stuff. Maybe parents being busier too, or not pressuring the way they used to, more just leave it be. Same with stuff like part time jobs.

Beater cars that teens used to drive won't pass inspections now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are used to walkable socializing, and I also think parents have more expensive cars, plus in general there is more traffic. Also it seems as if teens seem to expect to be instantly comfortable and good at stuff. Maybe parents being busier too, or not pressuring the way they used to, more just leave it be. Same with stuff like part time jobs.

[Anonymous]

I find it really weird that people think the way we did it when we were young (big focus on getting licenses immediately) was a good thing. It wasn't! It's fantastic that kids don't automatically accept and buy into a car-centric culture, or that kids dying in car accidents regularly was NBD.

Kids these days are smarter than earlier generations. Good for them!