Travel soccer drama - how to smooth over between kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband “stated” that he disagreed with the ref call, but he “stated” it so loudly that someone from the other team heard and came running over?

This. Let’s start with the fact that your husband was being a jerk.

Now your son is.

Take him aside and tell him he’s being a jerk. Focus on your son’s behavior not the actions of the other kid.

So a parent calls an off-side and hell breaks lose. And now dad is a jerk. LOL.

OP- Please go to soccer page. You only get a bunch of comments from Karen's and snowflakes here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Your husband “stated” that he disagreed with the ref call, but he “stated” it so loudly that someone from the other team heard and came running over?


Ha. This was my exact reaction. Keep in mind this is outdoors too so your DH "stated" it loudly for sure.

Tell your husband to shut up at the games as a first step.

Unbelievable to me that people would focus on this, but perhaps not surprising on this site. Yes, OP's husband should not have stated it loud enough for someone else to hear, but that seems like FAR less of a psycho thing to do than threatening another parent.

+1 Questioning a ref’s call is uncool, though extraordinarily common. Running over and threatening to beat up a parent from the other team is deranged, and the people on here who think OP’s DH got what was coming to him are all ridiculous.

OP—you can’t make your kid interact with this other kid, so as long as you and DH have clearly told him why it’s not ok to penalize the kid for his dad’s behavior, there is nothing else to be done (other than continuing to tell your DH it’s inappropriate to yell at the ref).

It is NOT common in travel soccer for 11 year olds. Most teams have a rule that parents can’t yell/speak/coach/talk to the ref.

Not common? LOL.

Take your comments to the Soccer page. The parents will chew you up there!

You certainly don't have kids (boys) in Travel soccer.

I'm glad I don't have kids (boys) in Travel soccer if this is how parents behave. OP's DH needs to stfu and model better behavior for his son. THat's the bigger issue than OP's kid giving another kid the silent treatment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Your husband “stated” that he disagreed with the ref call, but he “stated” it so loudly that someone from the other team heard and came running over?


Ha. This was my exact reaction. Keep in mind this is outdoors too so your DH "stated" it loudly for sure.

Tell your husband to shut up at the games as a first step.

Unbelievable to me that people would focus on this, but perhaps not surprising on this site. Yes, OP's husband should not have stated it loud enough for someone else to hear, but that seems like FAR less of a psycho thing to do than threatening another parent.

+1 Questioning a ref’s call is uncool, though extraordinarily common. Running over and threatening to beat up a parent from the other team is deranged, and the people on here who think OP’s DH got what was coming to him are all ridiculous.

OP—you can’t make your kid interact with this other kid, so as long as you and DH have clearly told him why it’s not ok to penalize the kid for his dad’s behavior, there is nothing else to be done (other than continuing to tell your DH it’s inappropriate to yell at the ref).

It is NOT common in travel soccer for 11 year olds. Most teams have a rule that parents can’t yell/speak/coach/talk to the ref.

Not common? LOL.

Take your comments to the Soccer page. The parents will chew you up there!

You certainly don't have kids (boys) in Travel soccer.

I'm glad I don't have kids (boys) in Travel soccer if this is how parents behave. OP's DH needs to stfu and model better behavior for his son. THat's the bigger issue than OP's kid giving another kid the silent treatment.

Girls sports are every bit as filled with crazy intense parents. - mom of one of each

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Your husband “stated” that he disagreed with the ref call, but he “stated” it so loudly that someone from the other team heard and came running over?


Ha. This was my exact reaction. Keep in mind this is outdoors too so your DH "stated" it loudly for sure.

Tell your husband to shut up at the games as a first step.

Unbelievable to me that people would focus on this, but perhaps not surprising on this site. Yes, OP's husband should not have stated it loud enough for someone else to hear, but that seems like FAR less of a psycho thing to do than threatening another parent.

+1 Questioning a ref’s call is uncool, though extraordinarily common. Running over and threatening to beat up a parent from the other team is deranged, and the people on here who think OP’s DH got what was coming to him are all ridiculous.

OP—you can’t make your kid interact with this other kid, so as long as you and DH have clearly told him why it’s not ok to penalize the kid for his dad’s behavior, there is nothing else to be done (other than continuing to tell your DH it’s inappropriate to yell at the ref).

Because we understand that we are hearing only OPS side of the story of what DH said.
We then connect the dots and understand that DH said something so inflammatory--and probably about the other man's child-- rather then imagining DH said "hey come on ref! That was in!" And some raging maniac came over to beat him up.
Op is an enabler of a man with anger management problems and she's trying to figure out how to smooth things over and pick up the pieces in his wake now that his emotional dysregulation has found its way out into public vs behind closed doors where she knows how to manage it.

So, because we didn’t hear the other side of the story, you have decided to concoct one with no basis in fact and attack the OP’s DH’s behavior in your fictional story? That’s ridiculous, to say the least. I agree OP would be better off asking this question on the soccer forum given the “quality” of most of the answers here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Because we understand that we are hearing only OPS side of the story of what DH said.
We then connect the dots and understand that DH said something so inflammatory--and probably about the other man's child-- rather then imagining DH said "hey come on ref! That was in!"

It wasn't anything about his kid, who is a goalie. It was disagreement with whether someone was off sides, basically, "he was offsides." This is not the focus, however. I have expressed to DS that I would like him to be polite to this kid. DH has experessed to DS that he would like him to be polite to him when they see each other in public (but not ever walk over to his house, if other neighborhood kids are going back there from the park). At this point, since we can't follow DS everywhere he goes, he's either going to listen or not.

VA?

Man your husband has created a whole big problem hasn't he

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband “stated” that he disagreed with the ref call, but he “stated” it so loudly that someone from the other team heard and came running over?

I thought this too. OP doesn’t take any responsibility that maybe your husband starter this and he is the jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband “stated” that he disagreed with the ref call, but he “stated” it so loudly that someone from the other team heard and came running over?

This. Let’s start with the fact that your husband was being a jerk.

Now your son is.

Take him aside and tell him he’s being a jerk. Focus on your son’s behavior not the actions of the other kid.

So a parent calls an off-side and hell breaks lose. And now dad is a jerk. LOL.

OP- Please go to soccer page. You only get a bunch of comments from Karen's and snowflakes here.

LOL at implying that the soccer forum here would elicit saner responses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Your husband “stated” that he disagreed with the ref call, but he “stated” it so loudly that someone from the other team heard and came running over?


Ha. This was my exact reaction. Keep in mind this is outdoors too so your DH "stated" it loudly for sure.

Tell your husband to shut up at the games as a first step.

Unbelievable to me that people would focus on this, but perhaps not surprising on this site. Yes, OP's husband should not have stated it loud enough for someone else to hear, but that seems like FAR less of a psycho thing to do than threatening another parent.

+1 Questioning a ref’s call is uncool, though extraordinarily common. Running over and threatening to beat up a parent from the other team is deranged, and the people on here who think OP’s DH got what was coming to him are all ridiculous.

OP—you can’t make your kid interact with this other kid, so as long as you and DH have clearly told him why it’s not ok to penalize the kid for his dad’s behavior, there is nothing else to be done (other than continuing to tell your DH it’s inappropriate to yell at the ref).

It is NOT common in travel soccer for 11 year olds. Most teams have a rule that parents can’t yell/speak/coach/talk to the ref.

Not common? LOL.

Take your comments to the Soccer page. The parents will chew you up there!

You certainly don't have kids (boys) in Travel soccer.

I'm glad I don't have kids (boys) in Travel soccer if this is how parents behave. OP's DH needs to stfu and model better behavior for his son. THat's the bigger issue than OP's kid giving another kid the silent treatment.

Any Travel/competitive sport is the same. I have a kid in Basketball as well. Sorry your kids are not athletic or a bit competitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Your husband “stated” that he disagreed with the ref call, but he “stated” it so loudly that someone from the other team heard and came running over?


Ha. This was my exact reaction. Keep in mind this is outdoors too so your DH "stated" it loudly for sure.

Tell your husband to shut up at the games as a first step.

Unbelievable to me that people would focus on this, but perhaps not surprising on this site. Yes, OP's husband should not have stated it loud enough for someone else to hear, but that seems like FAR less of a psycho thing to do than threatening another parent.

+1 Questioning a ref’s call is uncool, though extraordinarily common. Running over and threatening to beat up a parent from the other team is deranged, and the people on here who think OP’s DH got what was coming to him are all ridiculous.

OP—you can’t make your kid interact with this other kid, so as long as you and DH have clearly told him why it’s not ok to penalize the kid for his dad’s behavior, there is nothing else to be done (other than continuing to tell your DH it’s inappropriate to yell at the ref).

It is NOT common in travel soccer for 11 year olds. Most teams have a rule that parents can’t yell/speak/coach/talk to the ref.

Not common? LOL.

Take your comments to the Soccer page. The parents will chew you up there!

You certainly don't have kids (boys) in Travel soccer.

I'm glad I don't have kids (boys) in Travel soccer if this is how parents behave. OP's DH needs to stfu and model better behavior for his son. THat's the bigger issue than OP's kid giving another kid the silent treatment.

Any Travel/competitive sport is the same. I have a kid in Basketball as well. Sorry your kids are not athletic or a bit competitive.

Nope. We have very strict rules and culture about sportsmanship. Sorry your league is trashy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Your husband “stated” that he disagreed with the ref call, but he “stated” it so loudly that someone from the other team heard and came running over?


Ha. This was my exact reaction. Keep in mind this is outdoors too so your DH "stated" it loudly for sure.

Tell your husband to shut up at the games as a first step.

Unbelievable to me that people would focus on this, but perhaps not surprising on this site. Yes, OP's husband should not have stated it loud enough for someone else to hear, but that seems like FAR less of a psycho thing to do than threatening another parent.

+1 Questioning a ref’s call is uncool, though extraordinarily common. Running over and threatening to beat up a parent from the other team is deranged, and the people on here who think OP’s DH got what was coming to him are all ridiculous.

OP—you can’t make your kid interact with this other kid, so as long as you and DH have clearly told him why it’s not ok to penalize the kid for his dad’s behavior, there is nothing else to be done (other than continuing to tell your DH it’s inappropriate to yell at the ref).

It is NOT common in travel soccer for 11 year olds. Most teams have a rule that parents can’t yell/speak/coach/talk to the ref.

Not common? LOL.

Take your comments to the Soccer page. The parents will chew you up there!

You certainly don't have kids (boys) in Travel soccer.

I'm glad I don't have kids (boys) in Travel soccer if this is how parents behave. OP's DH needs to stfu and model better behavior for his son. THat's the bigger issue than OP's kid giving another kid the silent treatment.

Any Travel/competitive sport is the same. I have a kid in Basketball as well. Sorry your kids are not athletic or a bit competitive.

Nope. We have very strict rules and culture about sportsmanship. Sorry your league is trashy.

Nope, not our league but the ones in MD, SC and PA are pretty trashy.

[Anonymous]

Nope. We have very strict rules and culture about sportsmanship. Sorry your league is trashy.

Wow. OP here. Our club is mostly Hispanic, as are we. Commentary is farily common among parents at our club. It's pretty upsetting to hear people characterzing it as trashy. I'm not returning to this thread, thanks to those who provided helpful advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Nope. We have very strict rules and culture about sportsmanship. Sorry your league is trashy.

Wow. OP here. Our club is mostly Hispanic, as are we. Commentary is farily common among parents at our club. It's pretty upsetting to hear people characterzing it as trashy. I'm not returning to this thread, thanks to those who provided helpful advice.

And all the other clubs hate it. Stop doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Nope. We have very strict rules and culture about sportsmanship. Sorry your league is trashy.

Wow. OP here. Our club is mostly Hispanic, as are we. Commentary is farily common among parents at our club. It's pretty upsetting to hear people characterzing it as trashy. I'm not returning to this thread, thanks to those who provided helpful advice.

Playing the race card on an anonymous message board to excuse your husband's trashy behavior is, in and of itself, also trashy.

[Anonymous]

A friendly reminder....when you are a a youth sports game, it is fine to root positively for your kid or any other kid. It is NOT ok to disparage anyone on the other team or the refs or any call the refs make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Nope. We have very strict rules and culture about sportsmanship. Sorry your league is trashy.

Wow. OP here. Our club is mostly Hispanic, as are we. Commentary is farily common among parents at our club. It's pretty upsetting to hear people characterzing it as trashy. I'm not returning to this thread, thanks to those who provided helpful advice.

Playing the race card on an anonymous message board to excuse your husband's trashy behavior is, in and of itself, also trashy.

Calling trashy someone who called an off-side during a soccer is just ridiculous. So quick to judge here. I don't think you read OPs original post. yeez!

You are clueless about sports.