How to set up will protecting DD with untrustworthy DH

[Anonymous]

Trust. See a trust attorney

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People. OP probably specified LMC/UMC to show that her DD’s H will have little inheritance, while DD will get a large one. So there won’t be an additional inheritance for them and the H will probably be itching to get his hands on it.

Ah, yes, because all those shifty LMC animals just can’t help but try and get their hands on your money any chance they get.

also shifty DH is the one earning the money now supporting her UMC raised daughter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother set up her will so that if I died before her, the money would go directly to my kids not my DH. And she told me about this.

The only thing she achieved was that we felt sad, strangely betrayed and then distanced ourselves further from her and her crazy mind-games.

She has now died and I got the money which also belongs to my DH because we're legally married.

Don't be a scumbag OP. Just don't do it.

Your mother’s planning was totally standard! Of course if you die first, it goes to your grandkid, not your husband ! No one wants their widowed son in laws second wife getting their inheritance rather than their grandkids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother set up her will so that if I died before her, the money would go directly to my kids not my DH. And she told me about this.

The only thing she achieved was that we felt sad, strangely betrayed and then distanced ourselves further from her and her crazy mind-games.

She has now died and I got the money which also belongs to my DH because we're legally married.

Don't be a scumbag OP. Just don't do it.

I would not be upset if my parents did this. The money would be going to your kids. Why wouldn't that be ok with your DH? I'd actually want my ILs to do that.

OP, use a trust.

You’re an idiot. Your kids trust could still be used to pay their school tuition.
+1
I cannot understand why being safe and practical would offend anyone.

Except the assumption is that the DH will piss the money away on frivolities. In our case my DH would use the money for our kids education and caring for them if he was away on work trips (moot during Covid I know). So not safe and not practical, just manipulative and excluding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Except the assumption is that the DH will piss the money away on frivolities. In our case my DH would use the money for our kids education and caring for them if he was away on work trips (moot during Covid I know). So not safe and not practical, just manipulative and excluding.

There are many reasons it makes sense not to create a situation where an inheritance would end up in the control of a child's spouse. Anyone who grew up with even a small amount of money understands this. It's not about not trusting your DH. As one possible example, what if you pass, your DH remarries, and his new spouse divorces him and tries to sue for half his assets? Would you really want that money to go to the second wife? It's not just about trusting your DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother set up her will so that if I died before her, the money would go directly to my kids not my DH. And she told me about this.

The only thing she achieved was that we felt sad, strangely betrayed and then distanced ourselves further from her and her crazy mind-games.

She has now died and I got the money which also belongs to my DH because we're legally married.

Don't be a scumbag OP. Just don't do it.

I would not be upset if my parents did this. The money would be going to your kids. Why wouldn't that be ok with your DH? I'd actually want my ILs to do that.

OP, use a trust.

My in-laws love me. They pass money to both me and my DH as gifts every year to transfer parts of the estate. We generally have a decent relationship. But the bulk of their funds will be in trusts for their children and grandchildren. Means that nothing comes directly to me. Which is fine and not a problem at all. I will still discuss what we want to spend with DH. In the (unlikely at this point) event that we get divorced, whatever is left in his inheritance should go to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An inheritance is not considered part of marital assets in the event of a divorce.

Only if it isn't comingled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You call him untrustworthy but have no reason to believe so? Huh.

Well that’s just a giant assumption on your part merely because OP didn’t state her reasons for the belief.

She says in her post she has no reason to believe so.

Read again. She says she has no reason to think they’ll divorce not no reason to think he’s not trustworthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You call him untrustworthy but have no reason to believe so? Huh.

Her lack of self awareness is amazing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People. OP probably specified LMC/UMC to show that her DD’s H will have little inheritance, while DD will get a large one. So there won’t be an additional inheritance for them and the H will probably be itching to get his hands on it.

Ah, yes, because all those shifty LMC animals just can’t help but try and get their hands on your money any chance they get.

also shifty DH is the one earning the money now supporting her UMC raised daughter

+1. I think OP is in denial about who is using who in that marriage.