Have you ever just accepted your higher weight?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op you were underweight before.

No, she wasn't, what are you talking about? A woman in her early 30's and with a 19.2 BMI is within a normal weight range.

Very bottom of normal. 1-2 lbs from underweight

You are both right. It might not be technically underweight but it is extremely close. The point is. Having a goal that is borderline underweight after you have kids and enter middle age probably isn’t healthy or attainable by normal means anymore. But I do think at 133 you could lose a few pounds without extreme measures and you would likely feel a lot better and in a good place- without needing to strive for 112. Maybe make 120-125 your goal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op you were underweight before.

No, she wasn't, what are you talking about? A woman in her early 30's and with a 19.2 BMI is within a normal weight range.

Very bottom of normal. 1-2 lbs from underweight

You are both right. It might not be technically underweight but it is extremely close. The point is. Having a goal that is borderline underweight after you have kids and enter middle age probably isn’t healthy or attainable by normal means anymore. But I do think at 133 you could lose a few pounds without extreme measures and you would likely feel a lot better and in a good place- without needing to strive for 112. Maybe make 120-125 your goal

If OP has a small frame, 112 might be just right. BMI is not a great measure individually. You don't know what you're talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op you were underweight before.

No, she wasn't, what are you talking about? A woman in her early 30's and with a 19.2 BMI is within a normal weight range.

Very bottom of normal. 1-2 lbs from underweight

You are both right. It might not be technically underweight but it is extremely close. The point is. Having a goal that is borderline underweight after you have kids and enter middle age probably isn’t healthy or attainable by normal means anymore. But I do think at 133 you could lose a few pounds without extreme measures and you would likely feel a lot better and in a good place- without needing to strive for 112. Maybe make 120-125 your goal

OP is not middle aged, she is 33. And while it's true that many women gain weight after having kids and that's NBD for me, there is nothing about being pregnant and giving birth that requires you to stay at that weight indefinitely. If you don't feel good with the extra weight there is nothing wrong with working to lose it.

[Anonymous]

OP - thank you for the responses. I felt comfortable in my body at 112 lbs and did not appear underweight. I realize it’s the lower end of the BMI, but I’m fairly short and the excess 21 lbs have required a mostly new wardrobe. I do feel it makes me slower and move less freely, though that could be mental. I eat healthfully and exercise, but I eat too much. Pregnancy and nursing seemed to increase my appetite, but I’m struggling to return to the portions of 112 lbs me. So I wondered if others got over that hump and returned to their former weight or just accepted a healthy, but higher weight. Thank you for your thoughts!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - thank you for the responses. I felt comfortable in my body at 112 lbs and did not appear underweight. I realize it’s the lower end of the BMI, but I’m fairly short and the excess 21 lbs have required a mostly new wardrobe. I do feel it makes me slower and move less freely, though that could be mental. I eat healthfully and exercise, but I eat too much. Pregnancy and nursing seemed to increase my appetite, but I’m struggling to return to the portions of 112 lbs me. So I wondered if others got over that hump and returned to their former weight or just accepted a healthy, but higher weight. Thank you for your thoughts!

OP - we have the same stats, so I’ll tell you my story. I was about 115-120 during college, which was very thin on my frame, but “skinny fat” and I did not feel strong and was not in shape, although I looked *great* without any effort - no exercise, college diet... when I got married I weighed about 127 and felt like I looked great... I was eating healthier and working out. My body felt toned and fit. Then I had two kids and gained about 30 pounds each time. Lost the weight easily when breastfeeding, but then gained some back when I weaned and everything was saggy and flabby and just wrong. I weighed about 133 after kids and felt awful. Slow, tired, and totally out of shape. I started going to hot power yoga and then - during the pandemic - started running. I also did Noom for about 4 months because nothing was changing my weight even as I got into better shape. I learned some really valuable lessons about how to eat for my body and my own satisfaction, and got serious about making time to work out. I’m now at about 123 and it’s the perfect weight for 40 yo me. I am very fit and feel really strong and healthy. I’ll never be 115 again and wouldn’t want to be - my body now is so much healthier and happier than it was at a lower weight.

If you’re not feeling great, do something about it. Just know that it will likely take some drastic changes to get where you feel better. Our bodies are not easy to change as we get older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - thank you for the responses. I felt comfortable in my body at 112 lbs and did not appear underweight. I realize it’s the lower end of the BMI, but I’m fairly short and the excess 21 lbs have required a mostly new wardrobe. I do feel it makes me slower and move less freely, though that could be mental. I eat healthfully and exercise, but I eat too much. Pregnancy and nursing seemed to increase my appetite, but I’m struggling to return to the portions of 112 lbs me. So I wondered if others got over that hump and returned to their former weight or just accepted a healthy, but higher weight. Thank you for your thoughts!

I was at 115 pre pregnancy. I lost the baby weight pretty quickly after DD was born (not bragging - I put no effort into losing weight), but after I weaned her completely at 15 months, also same time as pandemic hit, weight shot up to 130. My clothes stopped fitting and I think it exacerbated some back pain. I really think 130 while technically normal BMI is too much for me. I have a small frame (tiny wrists) so I'm definitely not big boned.

I've been successful at losing almost half the weight by reducing portion sizes and delaying breakfast so I don't snack in the morning which is when I have tended to load up on junk food. I have gotten used to being a little bit hungry (my weight gain has been gradual - like 8 lbs over two months?). I also aim for half my plate at meals to be non starchy veggies. And generally to eat as much fruits and veggies as possible. I feel so much better even after this small amount of weight loss and my clothes are starting to fit better too. So yes, weight loss is possible and you don't have to accept it if it is bothering you.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP, I'm your height. Maybe a half inch shorter than you. I was a gymnast into my twenties so I've always been on the compact side. In my thirties, I ranged from 120 to 140, or a 4-6 in women's clothing. I probably felt best at around 130-133. I was doing fitness modelling at that weight. Men seemed to appreciate me most at closer to 140, since weight tends to go straight to my ass. 125 and under was only possible with severe calorie restriction and about 15 hours per week at the gym. 128-135 was doable, but it was work. Over 135, I was letting go a little.

Now I'm in my mid forties. Between having surgery a few years ago, lifestyle changes, Covid, and generally losing some f--ks about my appearance, my weight has crept up. I'm now a size 8, and range from about 142 to 150. I hate it. I HATE IT. For the first time in my life, I'm embarrassed to wear shorts, I feel like my face and upper arms are pudgy, my belly isn't flat, I don't feel sexy, and I'm just miserable and consumed with my weight and size. Mostly size, really. I think about it day and night.
I want to feel better and look better, but I also know that I'm closer to 50 than 40 now, I'm in good health generally, and I need to accept that I'm not going to look like I did in my thirties. It's also not lost on me that it's impossible to discipline myself at all when I'm so unhappy. I beat myself up all day and then order takeout for dinner or drink a half a bottle of wine because it makes me feel better. When I hate myself this much, I can't even motivate myself to go out for a short walk, let alone do any real exercise.

So, I bought some really nice new clothes in an 8 and am going to try not to think about it all the time, for a start. I also started to have sex again, after feeling too embarrassed to see anymore. (I have a long term on and off FWB who has seen me at every weight and state, and he doesn't seem to care in the slightest that my abs aren't hard anymore). I'm hoping that a little bit of self-acceptance will help prevent some of the emotional eating, something I never used to do. I'm grateful that the weather is nice now, and I'm spending more time outside, taking my dog on long walks instead of taking her on short ones, planning to go home and exercise and then feeling too unmotivated to do anything but watch TV.

So, yeah, I guess you could say I've accepted my higher weight, or I'm trying to. There is no way that I'm ever going to lose any weight feeling so miserable, so I figure I might as well make peace with myself as I am. Even if I don't lose any, at least I'll have learned to accept that I'm not the woman I was ten years ago and it's okay.

[Anonymous]

What does healthfully mean

[Anonymous]

Pretty sure 70% of the country has accepted their higher weight based on cdc data

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP, I'm your height. Maybe a half inch shorter than you. I was a gymnast into my twenties so I've always been on the compact side. In my thirties, I ranged from 120 to 140, or a 4-6 in women's clothing. I probably felt best at around 130-133. I was doing fitness modelling at that weight. Men seemed to appreciate me most at closer to 140, since weight tends to go straight to my ass. 125 and under was only possible with severe calorie restriction and about 15 hours per week at the gym. 128-135 was doable, but it was work. Over 135, I was letting go a little.

Now I'm in my mid forties. Between having surgery a few years ago, lifestyle changes, Covid, and generally losing some f--ks about my appearance, my weight has crept up. I'm now a size 8, and range from about 142 to 150. I hate it. I HATE IT. For the first time in my life, I'm embarrassed to wear shorts, I feel like my face and upper arms are pudgy, my belly isn't flat, I don't feel sexy, and I'm just miserable and consumed with my weight and size. Mostly size, really. I think about it day and night.
I want to feel better and look better, but I also know that I'm closer to 50 than 40 now, I'm in good health generally, and I need to accept that I'm not going to look like I did in my thirties. It's also not lost on me that it's impossible to discipline myself at all when I'm so unhappy. I beat myself up all day and then order takeout for dinner or drink a half a bottle of wine because it makes me feel better. When I hate myself this much, I can't even motivate myself to go out for a short walk, let alone do any real exercise.

So, I bought some really nice new clothes in an 8 and am going to try not to think about it all the time, for a start. I also started to have sex again, after feeling too embarrassed to see anymore. (I have a long term on and off FWB who has seen me at every weight and state, and he doesn't seem to care in the slightest that my abs aren't hard anymore). I'm hoping that a little bit of self-acceptance will help prevent some of the emotional eating, something I never used to do. I'm grateful that the weather is nice now, and I'm spending more time outside, taking my dog on long walks instead of taking her on short ones, planning to go home and exercise and then feeling too unmotivated to do anything but watch TV.

So, yeah, I guess you could say I've accepted my higher weight, or I'm trying to. There is no way that I'm ever going to lose any weight feeling so miserable, so I figure I might as well make peace with myself as I am. Even if I don't lose any, at least I'll have learned to accept that I'm not the woman I was ten years ago and it's okay.

I hear you, PP. I am up a size and hate my flabby body and enormous stomach. I watch/track what I eat carefully and exercise 6-7 a week, but late 40's weight is hard to lose unless you do something drastic. So I'm trying to come to terms with my new body, which at least is strong and capable, as opposed to just wishing I could go back to 5-10 years ago (where I looked better despite eating more and exercising less). Still better than the alternative!