3.5 year old doesn’t behave or respond to rewards/punishments

[Anonymous]

Start a new post Op on fun outdoor activities to help you keep engaged with him outside, runoff energy,, or things he can do w/o you hurting your back.

Also, start new post on how to transition to go home from the playground. You shouldn't need to call your husband and your kid shouldn't be kicking/screaming upon leaving.

We dcumers have tons of life hacks and tips and can help..

[Anonymous]

Not to hijack, but I have a very similar 3 year old. He currently spends 8:30-noon playing outside and 3:30-5, and he still comes home wild. I see a lot of recommendations on this thread for preschool, but won’t that be a lot of having to sit still? My impression is that kids do an awful lot of structured activities and not much active time. I’m planning to put my son in DCPS pk next year but am dreading it. I’m worried about where all that energy will go! How did it work out for others with similar children?

[Anonymous]

Instead of nap time, you can try calling it quiet time. Would he listen to audio books being played? Maybe somewhere else than his room try having him rest in another quiet area on a travel cot or in a sleeping bag with a few plush toys & books with stories playing quietly. A small indoor tent could work as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not to hijack, but I have a very similar 3 year old. He currently spends 8:30-noon playing outside and 3:30-5, and he still comes home wild. I see a lot of recommendations on this thread for preschool, but won’t that be a lot of having to sit still? My impression is that kids do an awful lot of structured activities and not much active time. I’m planning to put my son in DCPS pk next year but am dreading it. I’m worried about where all that energy will go! How did it work out for others with similar children?

At a good preschool they won’t be sitting a lot. They shouldn’t be climbing on whatever they want and wreaking havoc, but they will be moving from station to station and doing different play based activities. Hopefully a lot of gross motor activities too.

The benefit of preschool is that they have structure there which you are less likely to have at home. A strict routine, consistent consequences for bad behaviors, and more. Students learn what to expect and behave accordingly in a loving structured environment.

I’ve seen kids act like angels in my preschool class and absolute terrors to their parents after school, in the car during pickup and dropoff, (and parents tell me—at home).

Find the right preschool for your child and it could be life changing!

—preschool teacher

[Anonymous]

3.5 is old to be napping.

This kid needs 2 hours minimum outdoor time, year round, rain or shine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not to hijack, but I have a very similar 3 year old. He currently spends 8:30-noon playing outside and 3:30-5, and he still comes home wild. I see a lot of recommendations on this thread for preschool, but won’t that be a lot of having to sit still? My impression is that kids do an awful lot of structured activities and not much active time. I’m planning to put my son in DCPS pk next year but am dreading it. I’m worried about where all that energy will go! How did it work out for others with similar children?

At a good preschool they won’t be sitting a lot. They shouldn’t be climbing on whatever they want and wreaking havoc, but they will be moving from station to station and doing different play based activities. Hopefully a lot of gross motor activities too.

The benefit of preschool is that they have structure there which you are less likely to have at home. A strict routine, consistent consequences for bad behaviors, and more. Students learn what to expect and behave accordingly in a loving structured environment.

I’ve seen kids act like angels in my preschool class and absolute terrors to their parents after school, in the car during pickup and dropoff, (and parents tell me—at home).

Find the right preschool for your child and it could be life changing!

—preschool teacher

+1 to all of this. A good preschool will wear your kid out -- mine sleeps better since starting at her DCPS because her days are so full. She went to private preschools part time before this and I think she got something out of both of them, but she was clearly so ready for PK and there was so much more she could be doing. I'm not talking about academics (though yes, her pre-literacy has been great in school and it's great to have someone else guiding her in that way).

Kids this age don't just need physical exercise (though of course they need that). They also need a lot of mental stimulation that will help them order the world. So it's not just playground time or outside time. It's also circle time and learning songs, some structured games and activities, focused activity time where they can choose an activity (like art or blocks or water play, etc.), read alongs, neighborhood walks, etc. It's actually really, really hard for a SAHM or nanny to provide that level of enrichment at home. Even a great nanny will struggle a bit because a lot of it relies on having a group and there are things that it's hard to be set up for at home (like messy arts and crafts).

And the kids learn from each other and those inputs are so valuable.

They don't just need to be physically tired, they need to stretch their brains and their social muscles. Preschool is really the only way to do that.

[Anonymous]

I have been watching old episodes of Supernanny and they have helped me a lot in learning how to assert authority with my kids in a way that is not scary or punitive but is very firm. I can’t believe how effective it has been. I have found that setting limits and being very authoritative with my 3 yo has actually calmed him down considerably.

I’m telling you friends, all the gentle parenting, attachment BS has harmed us. It’s ok to be firm with our kids. It benefits them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:spank his butt

My thoughts exactly. A willingness to administer calm, old fashioned spankings would solve this immediately.

I'm pro-spanking but what this kid needs is to burn off the energy. When he's being very defiant and endangering his life, a spanking may be appropriate.

There are dogs like this kid. High energy, social, that do not do well being cooped up. Instead of chewing up her shoes or destroying furniture he's climbing things that should not be climbed.

Let's assume there is someone else in the household who cannot get the shot (age) with serious covid concerns. Get a nanny or a manny or a nanny share or find a pod, just get this kid out of the house.

Hah! Reading this thread I was thinking of my kid when he was that age AND the young husky I have now.

[Anonymous]

Early bedtime. Like, lights out by 7 no later. Then skip the nap. Just do “rest time” with books. It’s the sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been watching old episodes of Supernanny and they have helped me a lot in learning how to assert authority with my kids in a way that is not scary or punitive but is very firm. I can’t believe how effective it has been. I have found that setting limits and being very authoritative with my 3 yo has actually calmed him down considerably.

I’m telling you friends, all the gentle parenting, attachment BS has harmed us. It’s ok to be firm with our kids. It benefits them.

We have been taking a firmer approach with our 3-year old, too, and finding success. We’re certainly still very loving and caring and calm, but we’re trying harder to not give into unreasonable demands and to let DC tantrum until they realize we’re not giving in. This comes from recommendation from their preschool teacher but now just feels logical.