3.5 year old doesn’t behave or respond to rewards/punishments

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:spank his butt

My thoughts exactly. A willingness to administer calm, old fashioned spankings would solve this immediately.

I'm pro-spanking but what this kid needs is to burn off the energy. When he's being very defiant and endangering his life, a spanking may be appropriate.

There are dogs like this kid. High energy, social, that do not do well being cooped up. Instead of chewing up her shoes or destroying furniture he's climbing things that should not be climbed.

Let's assume there is someone else in the household who cannot get the shot (age) with serious covid concerns. Get a nanny or a manny or a nanny share or find a pod, just get this kid out of the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:3 1/2 years olds don’t always nap. Get this child to a park to run out the endless energy.

I had one of these but he was napping only 1.5 hours and going to bed at 10pm leading up to dropping the nap

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:spank his butt

My thoughts exactly. A willingness to administer calm, old fashioned spankings would solve this immediately.

I'm pro-spanking but what this kid needs is to burn off the energy. When he's being very defiant and endangering his life, a spanking may be appropriate.

There are dogs like this kid. High energy, social, that do not do well being cooped up. Instead of chewing up her shoes or destroying furniture he's climbing things that should not be climbed.

Let's assume there is someone else in the household who cannot get the shot (age) with serious covid concerns. Get a nanny or a manny or a nanny share or find a pod, just get this kid out of the house.

You're not wrong, but mom is far more likely to be able to take him outdoors for 2+ hours if she gets a 3 hour break in the middle of the day to catch up on housework and start dinner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:spank his butt

Go back to the 19th century, troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:spank his butt

My thoughts exactly. A willingness to administer calm, old fashioned spankings would solve this immediately.

I'm pro-spanking but what this kid needs is to burn off the energy. When he's being very defiant and endangering his life, a spanking may be appropriate.

There are dogs like this kid. High energy, social, that do not do well being cooped up. Instead of chewing up her shoes or destroying furniture he's climbing things that should not be climbed.

Let's assume there is someone else in the household who cannot get the shot (age) with serious covid concerns. Get a nanny or a manny or a nanny share or find a pod, just get this kid out of the house.

Why are you pro spanking when it has been proven that it does more damage than good? That there is no one that ever promotes spanking?

Please pro-spanking read this article. It explains why it is not effective.

https://www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/discipline/the-spanking-debate-continues

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:spank his butt

My thoughts exactly. A willingness to administer calm, old fashioned spankings would solve this immediately.

You guys keep living in your little bubble.

[Anonymous]

Lots of time outside running around and/or preschool. There really is no other option. The kid has super high energy. School will tire him out in a way you have never seen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:spank his butt

My thoughts exactly. A willingness to administer calm, old fashioned spankings would solve this immediately.

I'm pro-spanking but what this kid needs is to burn off the energy. When he's being very defiant and endangering his life, a spanking may be appropriate.

There are dogs like this kid. High energy, social, that do not do well being cooped up. Instead of chewing up her shoes or destroying furniture he's climbing things that should not be climbed.

Let's assume there is someone else in the household who cannot get the shot (age) with serious covid concerns. Get a nanny or a manny or a nanny share or find a pod, just get this kid out of the house.

Why are you pro spanking when it has been proven that it does more damage than good? That there is no one that ever promotes spanking?

Please pro-spanking read this article. It explains why it is not effective.

https://www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/discipline/the-spanking-debate-continues

All of these studies are designed by liberals who equate corporal punishment with physical abuse and don't differentiate between the two, so yeah, physical abuse is harmful.

We are in a giant social experiment with permissive parenting and the results are in: record depression, anxiety, depression, aggression, ADHD, obesity and low physical fitness, screen addiction, college age kids having complete melt downs over Halloween costumes. Only 1 in 3 young men are eligible for military service because they are disqualified due to: 1) overweight 2) no high school diploma 3) criminal record

[Anonymous]

You’re trying to force a nap on a kid who’s outgrown it. He needs an earlier bedtime and to drop the nap altogether. 3.5 is actually on the old side for napping so be grateful you got as many months of naps as you did. This might mean that he needs a 7 or 7:30 bedtime for awhile. Give him dinner right at 5, then baths abd bed. You can catch up on work in the evening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 3.5 yr old son is incredibly smart and stubborn (not my first kid but yes, I can only compare to my own experiences).

I’m overwhelmed because many days he won’t nap unless we stay with him and it takes hours.
Then he sleeps for 3 hours. If he doesn’t nap, he’s cranky and falls asleep at dinner.

Climbs over his gate if he’s left alone.
I’ve double gated but then he trashes his room.

I can’t get any work done because he’s incredibly destructive when awake. He really needs eyes on him every second. I can’t even go to the bathroom.

If he’d just take a nap I could handle the rest.

No preschool because of Covid so I’m just so desperate to contain his energy but not kill his spirit. I’ve baby proofed but he is amazing at figuring it out. Finds anything to use as a step stool and get into what he shouldn’t. Trust me, meds are put up so high, we need a step stool. Sharpies are hidden but my new countertops have still been victimized.

He’d watch tv and or snuggle with us all day but we only allow tv in morning and maybe during dinner prep. Snuggles are constant and keep me going!

Sticker charts, rewards and even punishments don’t work. He does not care. If I try to explain that he can’t climb up on something, he laughs and no matter how many times I say he can’t do something, he replies, “But I have to”

Today he climbed over his gate and fell. I saw it happen but couldn’t get to him in time. It was bad enough so it hurt but he was ok. He cried snd I comforted him and explained it was dangerous and that’s why he can’t climb out. I turned around and he climbed out again.

I’m losing my mind.

You’re losing your mind because you’re treating a 3 year old like a toddler. You’re trying to block his natural development and keep him at a younger level. A 3 year old doesn’t need baby gates or naps. He does need exercise though. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:spank his butt

My thoughts exactly. A willingness to administer calm, old fashioned spankings would solve this immediately.

I'm pro-spanking but what this kid needs is to burn off the energy. When he's being very defiant and endangering his life, a spanking may be appropriate.

There are dogs like this kid. High energy, social, that do not do well being cooped up. Instead of chewing up her shoes or destroying furniture he's climbing things that should not be climbed.

Let's assume there is someone else in the household who cannot get the shot (age) with serious covid concerns. Get a nanny or a manny or a nanny share or find a pod, just get this kid out of the house.

Why are you pro spanking when it has been proven that it does more damage than good? That there is no one that ever promotes spanking?

Please pro-spanking read this article. It explains why it is not effective.

https://www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/discipline/the-spanking-debate-continues

All of these studies are designed by liberals who equate corporal punishment with physical abuse and don't differentiate between the two, so yeah, physical abuse is harmful.

We are in a giant social experiment with permissive parenting and the results are in: record depression, anxiety, depression, aggression, ADHD, obesity and low physical fitness, screen addiction, college age kids having complete melt downs over Halloween costumes. Only 1 in 3 young men are eligible for military service because they are disqualified due to: 1) overweight 2) no high school diploma 3) criminal record

You obviously didn't read it. It mentions light spanking. Stop making this about politics. My Republican in-laws never spanked or hit their kids.

[Anonymous]

Your kid seems totally normal. You need preschool or a babysitter. Its not reasonable to expect a 3.5 yr old to nap or to leave you alone while you work. I have a son this age...and one that is now 6 yrs old. It can be hard but you're off in your expectations.

[Anonymous]

Spanking a 3 yr old for climbing a gate or not napping? That's absurd. If you start there, what are you going to do for your defiant 10 year old? Please take this poor kid outside to play and hire someone to hang out with him when you need to work.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the responses.

I don't know why PP and others are condemning me for spanking - I don't do that. It's a suggestion by others on here. A suggestion I'm not taking by the way!!!

I'd reserve spanking for an extreme situation and it certainly wouldn't be appropriate for most of our problems here.

There is no doubt in my mind that not being in preschool and not being outside enough is an issue as you all have mentioned (but I think I needed to hear it again).

I work about 10-15 hours a week. It's very doable if he is in school in the morning or naps or if he played by himself a bit.

He really doesn't like being outside for very long except when there is snow. Last year I set up baby pool and he'd go in for 2 minutes and want to go inside. Of course we stayed out anyway for a few hours. We eat lunch outside which he loves and play as much as we can but I have back problems from lifting him. He is 50 pounds and very tall so not overweight but built like a tank. When we go to a park, I need my husband there or at least have him on call so he is able to come help if my son refuses to go home. (That has happened a few times where he refused to leave and my husband had to carry him out kicking and screaming.)

When he naps for 1-2 hours, the household runs so well. He's in a good mood and I can spend that time helping my son who is home for school (and will be through the year) and get dinner started or do a little work. Without the nap, I feel like I can't get outside with him a lot because I'm always trying to do one more thing.

I'm not vaccinated yet (but will be get shot #1 this week and my husband has had only one shot). We have a grandparent we need to help so Pre-K and daycare aren't great options right now but he will be going in the fall for sure if Covid remains stable.

I have learned here that despite my best efforts, our outside time is just not sufficient and now that it's warmer, I'm just going to have to try to spend mornings outside even if he complains. If that can get me some time while he naps, it would be very worthwhile.

The sheer number of you who mentioned such extensive outdoor time was eye opening for me. I pretty much thought an hour or two a day was enough even if it clearly wasn't ideal. My older child was in school. sports, music and gym classes but he was just an easier kid to take places and Covid wasn't a concern.

Thank you all again.

[Anonymous]

My 3.5 year old was much the same plus I was pregnant with a physically draining pregnancy that didn’t allow me to spend hours outside with him. We didn’t force naps as he had dropped them at 2 but he did go to bed really early (5:30/6). Instead of naps, he has quiet time in his room. We bribed him into this with music on his iPad or the books app with books that read to him. Eventually he would get bored with that and start playing with his toys. Learning to entertain himself is a really important skill.