3.5 year old doesn’t behave or respond to rewards/punishments

[Anonymous]

Yup, this child needs to be outside from 8:30am to 12pm, lunch 12-1pm, quiet time for 30 minutes with a short TV show or book on tape, back outside from 3-4:30pm, and then dinner and early bed by 7:30pm.

Tire him OUT! Truly. Find a big football field, bring 2 soccer balls and have him kick and run to his heart's content, and chase the ball you kick (kick it FAR) and kick it back to you. Then on the way home stop at a playground where he can CLIMB, CLIMB, CLIMB for an hour or more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yup, this child needs to be outside from 8:30am to 12pm, lunch 12-1pm, quiet time for 30 minutes with a short TV show or book on tape, back outside from 3-4:30pm, and then dinner and early bed by 7:30pm.

Tire him OUT! Truly. Find a big football field, bring 2 soccer balls and have him kick and run to his heart's content, and chase the ball you kick (kick it FAR) and kick it back to you. Then on the way home stop at a playground where he can CLIMB, CLIMB, CLIMB for an hour or more.

This is exactly what I thought when I read her post. He sounds very high energy and when high energy kids need to
Have a have a good outlet for all of that energy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yup, this child needs to be outside from 8:30am to 12pm, lunch 12-1pm, quiet time for 30 minutes with a short TV show or book on tape, back outside from 3-4:30pm, and then dinner and early bed by 7:30pm.

Tire him OUT! Truly. Find a big football field, bring 2 soccer balls and have him kick and run to his heart's content, and chase the ball you kick (kick it FAR) and kick it back to you. Then on the way home stop at a playground where he can CLIMB, CLIMB, CLIMB for an hour or more.

This. This. This.

My son is your son. On days we don’t get outside, it’s a stressful day. On days we are outside, it’s much more enjoyable. We were outside from 9-12 and the then from 3:30- 6:30 and it made a HUGE difference. We have a balance bike that he rides, we have a small helicopter drone thing that he will chase and it will knock him out from chasing that thing, we also bought shovels and sand pails from target so he can dig outside, we also go to the local playground and have him climb jump and swing.
I realize being outside all day is probably not an option for everyone, but if you have a front yard or a back yard can you take your computer out there and work while he plays?

[Anonymous]

Why aren't you sending him to PreK? If you're high risk you should be vaccinated by now. If your PreK is still closed, find a new one. He needs an environment that will tire him out.

[Anonymous]

Cut the nap and early bedtime. My three year old dropped his nap and asleep at 7 pm.

[Anonymous]

3.5 is HARD. My kids needed so much attention and activity at that age. Are you trying to work from home? If so, you have my immense sympathy, but I would also say that is just not workable at this age and he needs at least a part-time preschool. He needs to get out of the house and run off some energy.

3.5 was also when both of my kids went through a phase of testing boundaries, laughing at punishments. I remember thinking the terrible 2s were horribly misnamed, it should be the terrible 3s. Just be consistent, pick your battles (but be consistent about which ones you pick!), wear him out, and give him as many snuggles as he can handle. Hang in there, it does get better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:spank his butt

My thoughts exactly. A willingness to administer calm, old fashioned spankings would solve this immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yup, this child needs to be outside from 8:30am to 12pm, lunch 12-1pm, quiet time for 30 minutes with a short TV show or book on tape, back outside from 3-4:30pm, and then dinner and early bed by 7:30pm.

Tire him OUT! Truly. Find a big football field, bring 2 soccer balls and have him kick and run to his heart's content, and chase the ball you kick (kick it FAR) and kick it back to you. Then on the way home stop at a playground where he can CLIMB, CLIMB, CLIMB for an hour or more.

This is what I would do. My kiddo stopped napping at home at age 2.5 because I didn't want to deal with the battles and power struggle, which started to spill to bedtime as well. It was better for everyone with no nap and an earlier bed time. Daycare still was able to get him to nap until age 3 because of peer pressure, or they are just better at tiring him out and getting him o comply. I don't know. He would some times refuse nap at daycare, but infrequently.

I also recommend How to Talk so Little Kids will Listen for other strategies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:3 1/2 years olds don’t always nap. Get this child to a park to run out the endless energy.

THIS! Or daycare!

[Anonymous]

He needs to be in school or around other kids. If you are vaccinated, then he should go. You cannot entertain a three year old and work. Your poor kid.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like he needs more attention from you. Also, in terms of rewards, are you giving him achievable goals? There are some great books out there that discuss appropriate ways to reward behaviors you want to see. Are you giving him attention for behaviors you don't want to see? Just some things to think about.

[Anonymous]

You mention wanting to contain his energy- you need to burn off his energy! As other posters say, he should be exercising and playing most of the day. Not tv time in the morning, snuggling, a nap in the afternoon and more tv time before dinner. It’s not a reasonable expectation for his age.

[Anonymous]

Read Hunt, Gather, Parent. Might change the way you think about your child, their role in your family, and parenting in general.

Could also just be time to re-evaluate the boundaries you’ve set.

[Anonymous]

Get this child outside, with other kids, if at all possible.

[Anonymous]

Could you pod up with another family with another 3-4 year old? And yes, this kid needs more outdoor time, a lot more...and yes, drop the nap, and earlier bedtime.