“Why Did We Ever Send Sick Kids to School?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Colds and runny nose can last for weeks in kids, so it’s hard to keep them out for that long.

This!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two earner households. Lack of workplace flexibility.

Plus, not to be heartless towards your child, but typical colds don’t typically affect other people in significant ways. I’m not staying home for a cold and neither will my kids. Fever - yes. Runny nose - no.

This. Keeping children home with a runny nose and no fever is a vestige of the bygone era when June Cleaver was always home with the children while her husband went off to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, one of the reasons kids are faring better during the pandemic is that they have built up so many antibodies to other coronaviruses, which typically present as the "common cold."

So, maybe we should be thanking all the parents who sent their kids to school a little sick. if they hadn't, we might be dealing with thousands and thousands of child deaths in addition to the horrible amount of adult deaths due to COVID 19.

This is totally nonsensical. You are science illiterate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two earner households. Lack of workplace flexibility.

Plus, not to be heartless towards your child, but typical colds don’t typically affect other people in significant ways. I’m not staying home for a cold and neither will my kids. Fever - yes. Runny nose - no.

This. Keeping children home with a runny nose and no fever is a vestige of the bygone era when June Cleaver was always home with the children while her husband went off to work.

I have a friend whose child is so frail that she could die from a cold. And kids really do die from the flu because some parents send their kids to school sick.

I agree that sometimes it's not feasible for parents to keep their children home when they're sick, but for a lot of us it's fine, especially for older kids who don't need looking after. If we have a greater tolerance for missing school, it will save lives. I'm a stay at home mom and I hate the feeling of guilt I get for keeping my kid home from school when they're not feeling well. And I would love to avoid the angst in deciding if I should send them or not. It's like to be a good parent you need to send your kid to school all the time, and I would love it if that weren't the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The privilege in some of these posts is unbelievable.

Not everyone has the option to keep their kids home whenever they have a runny nose (which is the entire damn winter most years).

If I stayed home with my kid every time she had a runny nose in the winter, and ALSO stayed home from work every time I had a runny nose in the winter, I'd never be at work.

She stays home if she has a fever, or chest congestion, or a bad cough, or vomiting, or if she's clearly sick (low energy, no appetite), but not for every little cold if she's otherwise fine. No one can function that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two earner households. Lack of workplace flexibility.

Plus, not to be heartless towards your child, but typical colds don’t typically affect other people in significant ways. I’m not staying home for a cold and neither will my kids. Fever - yes. Runny nose - no.

This. Keeping children home with a runny nose and no fever is a vestige of the bygone era when June Cleaver was always home with the children while her husband went off to work.

Except that I'm pretty sure parents didn't keep their kids home from school with a runny nose in the 1950s, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two earner households. Lack of workplace flexibility.

Plus, not to be heartless towards your child, but typical colds don’t typically affect other people in significant ways. I’m not staying home for a cold and neither will my kids. Fever - yes. Runny nose - no.

This. Keeping children home with a runny nose and no fever is a vestige of the bygone era when June Cleaver was always home with the children while her husband went off to work.

I have a friend whose child is so frail that she could die from a cold. And kids really do die from the flu because some parents send their kids to school sick.

I agree that sometimes it's not feasible for parents to keep their children home when they're sick, but for a lot of us it's fine, especially for older kids who don't need looking after. If we have a greater tolerance for missing school, it will save lives. I'm a stay at home mom and I hate the feeling of guilt I get for keeping my kid home from school when they're not feeling well. And I would love to avoid the angst in deciding if I should send them or not. It's like to be a good parent you need to send your kid to school all the time, and I would love it if that weren't the case.

I have no idea what you are talking about. I WOH (WFH now), for whatever that's worth, and I feel no guilt whatsoever keeping my kid home when she's actually sick. Zero. But I also don't keep her home for the sniffles. I give her decongestant so she's not dripping snot all over everything at school and send her out the door. But if she's actually sick: fever, lethargy, etc., I keep her home.

[Anonymous]

The mental gymnastics here are astounding!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The privilege in some of these posts is unbelievable.

Not everyone has the option to keep their kids home whenever they have a runny nose (which is the entire damn winter most years).

If I stayed home with my kid every time she had a runny nose in the winter, and ALSO stayed home from work every time I had a runny nose in the winter, I'd never be at work.

She stays home if she has a fever, or chest congestion, or a bad cough, or vomiting, or if she's clearly sick (low energy, no appetite), but not for every little cold if she's otherwise fine. No one can function that way.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two earner households. Lack of workplace flexibility.

Plus, not to be heartless towards your child, but typical colds don’t typically affect other people in significant ways. I’m not staying home for a cold and neither will my kids. Fever - yes. Runny nose - no.

This. Keeping children home with a runny nose and no fever is a vestige of the bygone era when June Cleaver was always home with the children while her husband went off to work.

I have a friend whose child is so frail that she could die from a cold. And kids really do die from the flu because some parents send their kids to school sick.

I agree that sometimes it's not feasible for parents to keep their children home when they're sick, but for a lot of us it's fine, especially for older kids who don't need looking after. If we have a greater tolerance for missing school, it will save lives. I'm a stay at home mom and I hate the feeling of guilt I get for keeping my kid home from school when they're not feeling well. And I would love to avoid the angst in deciding if I should send them or not. It's like to be a good parent you need to send your kid to school all the time, and I would love it if that weren't the case.

I have no idea what you are talking about. I WOH (WFH now), for whatever that's worth, and I feel no guilt whatsoever keeping my kid home when she's actually sick. Zero. But I also don't keep her home for the sniffles. I give her decongestant so she's not dripping snot all over everything at school and send her out the door. But if she's actually sick: fever, lethargy, etc., I keep her home.

What grade is your kid in? It can be really bad for older kids when they miss out on instruction. Plus one year my kid had massive stomach aches for weeks and at some point I thought maybe it was a mistake to keep her home. Also I'm the poster who has a friend whose child is a preemie, and she is plugged into the preemie community and has sent out a PSA several times that many of her friends' kids have died because somebody sent their kid to school sick. So I do feel conflicted.

It's great that you don't, but I really like the idea of it being less of a problem for kids to miss school when they're sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lack of affordable childcare.

Also lack of maternity leave. I was a third, and have my kids before parental leave. I went on leave without pay each time. I never send my child to school sick but I have no choice but to go to work sick multiple times since I used every day of sick leave, vacation, and lwop to be able to stay home 10 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can honestly say that in 31 years of parenting five children I have never knowingly sent a child to school sick. Parents who do this are just the worst.

+1 I have four kids. But I also work from home.

The households where both parents work outside the home, who don't have family close by, and who have multiple kids are in an extremely tough position. Just with dentist appointments and well visits and other standard stuff I could have an appointment once a week. Add in sick kids, few weeks go by in the winter without interruptions. I have a flexible schedule but people who don't have to make complicated decisions.

But it was your choice to have four kids in a dual income household. You had them knowing what your responsibilities are. I had two coworkers going through chemo last year, with kids coming in sick because, “I have a meeting,” parents don’t realize the implications of their actions. You have a moral obligation to keep your sick children home and have a babysitter/family member care for them. The classroom is not a warehouse for sick students. When the nurse tries to send them back to class, I’m happy to let her know that the child is welcome to stay with her or sit in the front office for the remainder of the day.

No child should be excluded from school for a cold. End of story. And frankly, if you want to encourage families to keep their kids home, you should 1) advocate for more sick leave, 2) alter the school year so that working parents don't have to take off as many days simply to follow the school calendar, 3) make it easy for children to catch up or stay on track if they stay home sick, including stopping teachers from punishing or making things difficult for kids who miss time from school because they are sick.

There is no childcare for sick children. You can't send them to daycare or school. Period. As a parent, it is YOUR job to care for your child when they are sick. Exclusively. Period. It is the fault of YOUR boss and YOUR job if you can't take a sick day to care for your child. It is ridiculous to suggest we should have "school" (babysitting) available for 365 days a year to accommodate your employer. Do you know how much that would cost taxpayers? We are not a babysitting service, and we are certainly not an infirmary. As a teacher, I'm absolutely not responsible for advocating for your sick leave, nor would you advocate for teachers to get additional sick leave to account for all the illnesses we contract being exposed to your sick children. I already see threads here complaining every time their child's teacher calls out, as if it is any of their business why. In the past, I have reached out to let parents know I would be out on x day (as a courtesy, not a requirement), and had them ask me the reason for the absence. Totally inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

I absolutely think schools need to be more understanding about keeping sick kids home and doing makeup work etc. (for older kids). I also absolutely despise things like “perfect attendance” awards...always have. Horrendous idea.

I also think we need much better paid sick leave in this country.

I’m fine with strengthened vaccination rules for kids, including flu vax.

That said, I’m not keeping my kid home for a routine cold/runny nose if they otherwise feel well. That is absurd. We keep home for fever, vomiting/diarrhea, and/or if they are very uncomfortable and just not feeling well.

I think distance learning should be preserved and strengthened for those few kids who have medical issues that make the common cold a serious problem for them. Clearly everyone can’t stay home with a runny nose to protect a few.

[Anonymous]

I think I must be a weirdo but my kids have never had just the “sniffles”. When my kids get a cold it’s multiple days of severe congestion/lethargy/not sleeping. They never seem to have the “cold” that is “just the sniffles”.

Even for me, I almost never have that kind of illness-I’m
Not sure if I ever have honestly. For me a “cold” means I get a sore throat and it ususally culminates in a sinus infection and I usually feel like absolute garbage for at least 2-3 days, and then not great for a solid 10 days.

What is this illness that is just the “sniffles”? Is that really a cold? Or is what I describe a cold?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I must be a weirdo but my kids have never had just the “sniffles”. When my kids get a cold it’s multiple days of severe congestion/lethargy/not sleeping. They never seem to have the “cold” that is “just the sniffles”.

Even for me, I almost never have that kind of illness-I’m
Not sure if I ever have honestly. For me a “cold” means I get a sore throat and it ususally culminates in a sinus infection and I usually feel like absolute garbage for at least 2-3 days, and then not great for a solid 10 days.

What is this illness that is just the “sniffles”? Is that really a cold? Or is what I describe a cold?

Most kids in daycare get the “daycare runny nose”. It lasts for weeks!

In the winter, my kids noses run afterwards being outside for a while. Stops when they’re indoors.