“Why Did We Ever Send Sick Kids to School?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can honestly say that in 31 years of parenting five children I have never knowingly sent a child to school sick. Parents who do this are just the worst.

+1 I have four kids. But I also work from home.

The households where both parents work outside the home, who don't have family close by, and who have multiple kids are in an extremely tough position. Just with dentist appointments and well visits and other standard stuff I could have an appointment once a week. Add in sick kids, few weeks go by in the winter without interruptions. I have a flexible schedule but people who don't have to make complicated decisions.

But it was your choice to have four kids in a dual income household. You had them knowing what your responsibilities are. I had two coworkers going through chemo last year, with kids coming in sick because, “I have a meeting,” parents don’t realize the implications of their actions. You have a moral obligation to keep your sick children home and have a babysitter/family member care for them. The classroom is not a warehouse for sick students. When the nurse tries to send them back to class, I’m happy to let her know that the child is welcome to stay with her or sit in the front office for the remainder of the day.

No child should be excluded from school for a cold. End of story. And frankly, if you want to encourage families to keep their kids home, you should 1) advocate for more sick leave, 2) alter the school year so that working parents don't have to take off as many days simply to follow the school calendar, 3) make it easy for children to catch up or stay on track if they stay home sick, including stopping teachers from punishing or making things difficult for kids who miss time from school because they are sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two earner households. Lack of workplace flexibility.

Plus, not to be heartless towards your child, but typical colds don’t typically affect other people in significant ways. I’m not staying home for a cold and neither will my kids. Fever - yes. Runny nose - no.

NP here. You are being heartless. Stop sending you kids to school with a cold! Stop going to work with a cold!! I’m glad they don’t bother you, but I also get knocked out by colds, and people like you drive me nuts.

If you’re a waitress or something where you get no paid sick days and need to pay rent, okay. But if you get paid sick days, aren’t using all of them, and are coming in with a cold STOP. You are the problem this post is about!!

There was the year we used up all our vacation and sick leave caring for a dying family member and had none left for the case of the sniffles, and we have good white collar jobs. Imagine how hard this is for hourly workers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Colds and runny nose can last for weeks in kids, so it’s hard to keep them out for that long.

+1

And kids can be over dramatic so it's sometimes hard to guage . And we are a " suck it up buttrrcup" type family and I imagine most others are too.

Yep. Stay home with a fever or stomach bug, but you CANNOT stay home for the entire duration of a cold. The best possible takeaway will be for parents to be more likely to keep their kids home for say, two or three days with a cold, AND for teachers to post work online and be more lenient about accepting makeup work.

+1 I have five kids. I'm so tired of hearing teachers complain about parents sending sick kids to school, when they are punitive when kids miss. That's the way it is. Can't have it both ways. Oh, and by the way, if teachers expect parents to have back up childcare every time a child has a sniffle, I hope that they will play by the same role with their own absences.

Actually, I would totally support allowing teachers to teach remotely with a classroom monitor to give them flexibility to be home with their own sick children. I'm sure it would be easier for everyone than dealing subs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Colds and runny nose can last for weeks in kids, so it’s hard to keep them out for that long.

I agree that there is a big difference between sending a kid to school with a runny nose/post-nasal drip cough (but no fever and the kid feels fine), versus sending a kid to school who is throwing up, or running a temp, or obviously feeling under the weather. The former is normal -- kids would just miss too much school if they were kept out for every sniffle.

The latter is the result of (1) inadequate sick leave/childcare for households where both parents work or for single-parent households, and (2) the difficulty of catching up when missing school. If we want parents to keep their kids home, we need to give them more sick leave, AND not punish them at work for taking time to care for a sick child. And we need to make it easier for kids to make up work that they missed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have worked in an elementary school supporting sped kids in reg ed classrooms for many years. Every year I could pretty much count on having one or two colds and probably the flu too.

This past year, since mid-March of last year, I have had no colds and no flu. No illnesses whatsoever.

Some of you send your sick kids to school and then bitch and complain about teachers missing days, lousy substitutes, etc. Kind of stupid, eh?

When I didn't have kids, I regularly got one to two or more colds a year too. That doesn't seem like more because of kids, that's just normal for being out and about in society.

Of course you haven't had any illnesses this year, barely anyone has, because we've been mostly at home SD and unable to do our normal activities. You want to stay home like this forever?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because I’m not letting my kids miss 7 days of school for a low grade temperature.

If they continue to offer online classes I will keep them home.

If your kid has a fever for 7 days, you need to keep them home and take them to the doctor. WTF is wrong with you?

You can't take a kid to the doctor with a low grade fever, they basically say, call us back if it goes above 101. But after a few days, you push them to see you then they say, rest, advil and fluids.

Do you even have children! WTF is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Colds and runny nose can last for weeks in kids, so it’s hard to keep them out for that long.

This. It last all winter long in 60 degrees north.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because I’m not letting my kids miss 7 days of school for a low grade temperature.

If they continue to offer online classes I will keep them home.

If your kid has a fever for 7 days, you need to keep them home and take them to the doctor. WTF is wrong with you?

You can't take a kid to the doctor with a low grade fever, they basically say, call us back if it goes above 101. But after a few days, you push them to see you then they say, rest, advil and fluids.

Do you even have children! WTF is wrong with you?

Actually, there was a long thread last year about sending kids to school sick with so many judgmental parents complaining about sneezing and coughing kids being out. Having read posts throughout the pandemic, these posts make more sense. These must be people who, for whatever reason, have the ability to keep their kids home any time they sneeze and who also have no problem with DL because they apparently have no other obligations.

Going forward, maybe these judgmental types should wear masks during cold and flu season to protect themselves.

Actually, going forward, I'm happy to have my kids wear masks to school if they have a lingering cold. Not a problem at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can honestly say that in 31 years of parenting five children I have never knowingly sent a child to school sick. Parents who do this are just the worst.

+1 I have four kids. But I also work from home.

The households where both parents work outside the home, who don't have family close by, and who have multiple kids are in an extremely tough position. Just with dentist appointments and well visits and other standard stuff I could have an appointment once a week. Add in sick kids, few weeks go by in the winter without interruptions. I have a flexible schedule but people who don't have to make complicated decisions.

But it was your choice to have four kids in a dual income household. You had them knowing what your responsibilities are. I had two coworkers going through chemo last year, with kids coming in sick because, “I have a meeting,” parents don’t realize the implications of their actions. You have a moral obligation to keep your sick children home and have a babysitter/family member care for them. The classroom is not a warehouse for sick students. When the nurse tries to send them back to class, I’m happy to let her know that the child is welcome to stay with her or sit in the front office for the remainder of the day.

Our society has a moral obligation to help its members. Not stick them into jobs with no flexibility, no healthcare, and no supports.

[Anonymous]

The privilege in some of these posts is unbelievable.

Not everyone has the option to keep their kids home whenever they have a runny nose (which is the entire damn winter most years).

[Anonymous]

One year my kid missed a ton of school for various illnesses and I had to have a meeting with a social worker making sure that there weren't problems at home. It was actually a good conversation but they told me if DD missed more I would need to take parenting classes and meet with higher-ups in the school district. And in some areas they put parents in jail when their kids miss too much school.

And as others pointed out, they punish kids for missing too much school. When I was growing up if we missed ten days of school for any reason (school athletics programs excepted) we failed the class. I went to school with a cold all the time.

It would be great if this changed. Especially since hopefully we now have systems in place for kids to participate from school from home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Colds and runny nose can last for weeks in kids, so it’s hard to keep them out for that long.

+1

And kids can be over dramatic so it's sometimes hard to guage . And we are a " suck it up buttrrcup" type family and I imagine most others are too.

Yep. Stay home with a fever or stomach bug, but you CANNOT stay home for the entire duration of a cold. The best possible takeaway will be for parents to be more likely to keep their kids home for say, two or three days with a cold, AND for teachers to post work online and be more lenient about accepting makeup work.

+1 I have five kids. I'm so tired of hearing teachers complain about parents sending sick kids to school, when they are punitive when kids miss. That's the way it is. Can't have it both ways. Oh, and by the way, if teachers expect parents to have back up childcare every time a child has a sniffle, I hope that they will play by the same role with their own absences.

Actually, I would totally support allowing teachers to teach remotely with a classroom monitor to give them flexibility to be home with their own sick children. I'm sure it would be easier for everyone than dealing subs.

I'm in DCPS and they have never punished me for keeping kids at home. They only come after me if I try to take them out on vacation on a non-vacation day.

[Anonymous]

Thanks - I’ll read this. I recall my mom getting angry when I was in second grade. I had pneumonia, strep throat, and the flu that year and she got a truancy warning letter in the mail from the school. (I always did well in school though). She called the principal saying - wtf - what did you want me to do, she was sick? He said - don’t worry about it - it’s an automatic form letter. But still annoying that she had to get it.

[Anonymous]

Also, one of the reasons kids are faring better during the pandemic is that they have built up so many antibodies to other coronaviruses, which typically present as the "common cold."

So, maybe we should be thanking all the parents who sent their kids to school a little sick. if they hadn't, we might be dealing with thousands and thousands of child deaths in addition to the horrible amount of adult deaths due to COVID 19.

[Anonymous]

I had a friend who’s kids vomited overnight, and she didn’t even give them a bath, and she sent them to school the next day.

She otherwise seems like a decent human being.

This made me lose hope of the dynamic ever changing. I’ve noticed that some people just don’t really care that much about illness and are completely resigned to just being continuously ill all winter and throwing up their hands as if we are entirely powerless to do anything about it.

I hate to say it but I think it gets so normalized in daycare and when you have young kids for the whole family to be continuously ill from October through April. These families get to the point of thinking that it really is normal.

I’m a germaphobe and don’t handle illness well so we always had a nanny. My kids did get sick, but much less than my friends who had kids in daycare.