My kids steal food.

[Anonymous]

This has to be a troll.

[Anonymous]

Hi this is op. I haven’t read all the comments yet but I want to clear up a few things. My kids are allowed snacks whenever they want. They are allowed to put certain items on the list whenever they want. My daughter has gained forty pounds in a year so this is not me freaking out because she gained a tiny bit of weight.

When I say stealing food I mean they have been specifically asked not to eat these because they are for dinner or belong to someone else. Like, you ate your ice cream you can’t have dads that he is saving.

I think my daughter is having issues with adhd and compulsive eating and maybe her current therapist isn’t on top of that so we’re going to assess and I thank everyone who chimes in to say to pursue it through a professional.

And to the person who said that it’s bad my 9 yo is in therapy...f&@k you. There have been a lot of big changes in everybody’s life this year. I started my daughter in therapy because I saw her getting anxious and depressed. I think it’s one of the best things I did as a parent and I don’t appreciate you trying to make me and other who read this feel bad or ashamed because we use mental health services thoughtfully.

[Anonymous]

Typical day: breakfast burritos and fruit. Chicken nuggets, string cheese, apples and ketchup for lunch. Chili with ground beef and rice and a veggie for dinner. Snacks about 11 and 2 and 4. Snacks might include: pepperoni, fruit leather, yogurt, carrots, bell peppers, cheese and crackers, popcorn, plus a serving of whatever we baked that day. We go for hot chocolate at Starbucks once or twice a week. We do dessert of fruit and cool whip or a serving of ice cream.

The additional food is on top of all that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi this is op. I haven’t read all the comments yet but I want to clear up a few things. My kids are allowed snacks whenever they want. They are allowed to put certain items on the list whenever they want. My daughter has gained forty pounds in a year so this is not me freaking out because she gained a tiny bit of weight.

When I say stealing food I mean they have been specifically asked not to eat these because they are for dinner or belong to someone else. Like, you ate your ice cream you can’t have dads that he is saving.

I think my daughter is having issues with adhd and compulsive eating and maybe her current therapist isn’t on top of that so we’re going to assess and I thank everyone who chimes in to say to pursue it through a professional.

And to the person who said that it’s bad my 9 yo is in therapy...f&@k you. There have been a lot of big changes in everybody’s life this year. I started my daughter in therapy because I saw her getting anxious and depressed. I think it’s one of the best things I did as a parent and I don’t appreciate you trying to make me and other who read this feel bad or ashamed because we use mental health services thoughtfully.

OP, I’m glad you told that person to back off with the snark about therapy.

I have a 10 year old DD with ADHD and anxiety. She sounds a lot like your DD. She just wants to eat all day long. Every single time she breaks focus from school, which is every 20 minutes, she wants a snack. Fruits and veggies are always available and she will sit down and eat an entire pint of blueberries at once. She’s gained too much weight and is starting to feel embarrassed about it. I’ve been asking her therapist to help with this issue but I am not getting anywhere. Ellyn Satter is treated like the food and nutrition guru on DCUM but her system just does not work for my child. The comments about how to provide easily accessible healthy snacks are well-intentioned but not useful.

[Anonymous]

OP,

I don't have advice but I want to show my support. DCUM has become really nasty in recent days, and I attribute it to the general tension. There is absolutely no reason anyone should attack you in any way.

I was about to say, before you posted your update, that it looks like at least one of your children has impulse control issues, and that ADHD might be involved. We are an ADHD family, and luckily don't have trouble with stealing food, but my son has trouble with video gaming and I have trouble with snacks in the evening. All impulse control related.

We had to strictly control the video gaming for a while, and now he's slowly becoming more responsible (at 15!). Food is more difficult. Your oldest child's issues seem so extreme, I'd really consider doing away with all the treats and junk! All that would be left are veggies and fruit. Hard for a child to get overweight from those, right? Perhaps put a keypad on the fridge, temporarily. If they want something, they ask you. The truth is, children need to learn what hunger feels like between meals. It's really bad to snack all day, even on something healthy, because your body doesn't learn that fasting is a normal part of the cycle.

I don't know if you said your oldest was medicated for her ADHD, but know that stimulants are appetite suppressants
ADHD meds help the brain calm down enough to focus and LEARN BETTER HABITS. My son was medicated for 3 years before side effects became so great he couldn't go on - in his case, he wasn't eating enough to grow. But in your child's case, hey, maybe that would be a great side effect!

[Anonymous]

^ OK actually I did give some advice... Best of luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi this is op. I haven’t read all the comments yet but I want to clear up a few things. My kids are allowed snacks whenever they want. They are allowed to put certain items on the list whenever they want. My daughter has gained forty pounds in a year so this is not me freaking out because she gained a tiny bit of weight.

When I say stealing food I mean they have been specifically asked not to eat these because they are for dinner or belong to someone else. Like, you ate your ice cream you can’t have dads that he is saving.

I think my daughter is having issues with adhd and compulsive eating and maybe her current therapist isn’t on top of that so we’re going to assess and I thank everyone who chimes in to say to pursue it through a professional.

And to the person who said that it’s bad my 9 yo is in therapy...f&@k you. There have been a lot of big changes in everybody’s life this year. I started my daughter in therapy because I saw her getting anxious and depressed. I think it’s one of the best things I did as a parent and I don’t appreciate you trying to make me and other who read this feel bad or ashamed because we use mental health services thoughtfully.

Hi OP. I'm sorry you guys are struggling. I think you need to stop buying treats for the time being, while you get ahold of things with professional help. 40 lbs is a lot for a small child and I would be worried too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi this is op. I haven’t read all the comments yet but I want to clear up a few things. My kids are allowed snacks whenever they want. They are allowed to put certain items on the list whenever they want. My daughter has gained forty pounds in a year so this is not me freaking out because she gained a tiny bit of weight.

When I say stealing food I mean they have been specifically asked not to eat these because they are for dinner or belong to someone else. Like, you ate your ice cream you can’t have dads that he is saving.

I think my daughter is having issues with adhd and compulsive eating and maybe her current therapist isn’t on top of that so we’re going to assess and I thank everyone who chimes in to say to pursue it through a professional.

And to the person who said that it’s bad my 9 yo is in therapy...f&@k you. There have been a lot of big changes in everybody’s life this year. I started my daughter in therapy because I saw her getting anxious and depressed. I think it’s one of the best things I did as a parent and I don’t appreciate you trying to make me and other who read this feel bad or ashamed because we use mental health services thoughtfully.

Hugs this is hard. I really don’t think therapy will help with this. Not in a 9 yr old. This isn’t a behavior someone can talk her free from. She needs meds. If she isn’t on any yet, I would seriously consider it. It will help with the compulsive eating which is damage to her health and her relationship with food and you.

[Anonymous]

Op I’m sorry people are being so cruel. I’m having a less severe version of this with my 10 yo since the pandemic started. I don’t have any solutions but it is hard when everyone is home all the time but obviously you can’t just sit in the kitchen all day watching. I plan to ask the pediatrician about it at some point. Meanwhile, I’m trying to limit the amount of ready-to-eat snacks in the house.

[Anonymous]

Hi op. I have one kid in therapy (no shame!). And my other one is an impulsive eater who has gained a lot of weight in the past two years. We have never been restrictive. It’s not always the parent’s fault.

[Anonymous]

Don't have any advice. But just came across this article on pandemic weight gain and kids. OP you are not alone!

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/15/parenting/childrens-weight-gain-covid-pandemic.html?action=click&module=Features&pgtype=Homepage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op I’m sorry people are being so cruel. I’m having a less severe version of this with my 10 yo since the pandemic started. I don’t have any solutions but it is hard when everyone is home all the time but obviously you can’t just sit in the kitchen all day watching. I plan to ask the pediatrician about it at some point. Meanwhile, I’m trying to limit the amount of ready-to-eat snacks in the house.

Same. I stopped buying crackers, pretzels and such. Only have granola bars, fruits, vegetables, yougurt, cheese on hand

[Anonymous]

How much physical activity do they get?

[Anonymous]

Couldn't it simply be an eating addiction? OP's older child will scarf down healthy food (the strawberries) just as much as other food. And (as someone who has had issues with weight and eating my whole life can attest to) she will sooner or later learn to come up with some kind of concoction at home that qualifies as junk. I'm also guessing that level of physical activity has decreased during pandemic. For me, the only thing that has ever really worked re: weight is activity. And I detest exercise for the sake of exercise. It's one reason I need a new dog after my last one died!

[Anonymous]

OP I would also eliminate unhealthy snacks from the house. Try that for a month and see how it goes.

I would never lock up any food. That just seems wrong.

I agree that 40 lbs in a year is a lot and I too would be concerned.